Skip to main content

A Fly In The Ointment

It was a dark and stormy night and as dense as a London fog. As luck would have it Bob was late getting home, where he was looking forward to being as snug as a bug in a rug, because he was off course as the crow flies because he had to take the long road home as luck would have it.

He thought of his wife Rose - a rose by any other name would smell so sweet - and regretted leaving his cell phone charging on his desk at work. He decided that was a bad call but that thinking about it was like beating a dead horse.

He hoped his wife would like her anniversary present but he knew beauty was in the eye of the beholder. He hoped she didn't think beggars can't be choosers because he'd been there done that with his first wife Mabel. Mabel had been behind the the times, far from the belle of the ball and a knife or two short of the cutlery drawer.

Anyway, as he sat in the detoured traffic he knew he'd be better late than never and in terms of Rose, his second wife, it'd be better the devil he knew than the devil he didn't.

Just then a flock of crows alighted on a nearby tree branch. As the last bird landed the rest looked at him as he said "Hey, birds of a feather flock together."

Well thought Bob I hope I'm not so late that the bloom is off the Rose. After all, having stopped at the butchers,  I'm the one that's bringing home the bacon.

Meanwhile poor Rose wondered just where Bob was. "I'm tired" she said to herself. "I've bee busier than a one-armed paper hanger. I've been burning the candle at both ends around the house and I don't think Bob has noticed."

As the sun set Rose cast a very long shadow across the the floor that was so clean you couldn't hold a candle to it because the cleaning products were so flammable.

Finally Bob arrived. He presented his gift and realized that the chain of the bracelet was only as strong as it's weakest link. He needn't have worried. Rose thought the gift was the cat's meow.

"But Bob I have nothing for you" cried Rose. "Does the Pope wear a funny hat?" said Bob. "It's our anniversary. Why not?"

"Now Bob don't get your knickers in a knot" said Rose. "Knickers in a knot?" cried Bob, down in the mouth. "How could you resort to using cliches at a time such as this?"

And as she put an end to the conversation with her husband she whispered "The end justifies the meanness."

My friends at Studio30+ came up with banal/cliche as this week's writing prompt. And while this post may be banal everything's coming up roses in terms of the number of cliches to be found here. Why, my God, there's everything but the kitchen sink here. Sorry. I can't stop.


Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.


Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais


The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


 Lust and Wonder - Aug…

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.

"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise