I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up

Who the hell watches daytime TV? Not me, normally. But I was convalescing from cataract surgery yesterday and was just kinda lying on the couch taking it easy. I started out watching the news channel and then after that got kind of repetitive switched over to the Game Show Network. There's something both networks had in common; Ads aimed at fat old people.

Between Nutri System commercials and ads for lawsuits due to strokes from testosterone gel or metal hip replacements I couldn't help but start to feel very, very old and very, very fat. Hell, Kerri lost 110 pounds! Way to go Kerri. I don't know if she emptied out her bank account purchasing the Nutri Syestem menu or not but whatever she did sure seems to have worked.

I can tell you, though, who didn't use Nutri System - those fat old people who fell in the shower, down the stairs or on the kitchen floor and couldn't get up. Lucky a friend or relative happened by to discover them just out of arms reach from that box of Krispy Kremes. And if those helpful friends hadn't happened by they might have starved to death. That's why they should have a monitor around their neck that alerts authorities that they've fallen and can't reach that dozen donuts. I don't know how much the monitor costs but it's gotta be worth it to result in being discovered before those double-chocolate dips go bad.

But you know what? It was worth putting up with Dick Clark and Bert Convey back from the grave hosting Pyramid and Super Password, not to mention those bloody commercials, if only to watch the host of the rejuvenated 1 vs 100 Carrie Anne Inaba. What a babe. I have no idea what the show was about but if there's any question about that form-fitting sexy black dress she was wearing I stand a good chance of winning.

If she fell, I wonder if she'd be able to get up?

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav...

30 Days of Writing - Day #1 - Cheese

Well, here we go again folks. As if it weren't enough that I knocked myself out in April participating in 30 Days of Photos, now dear Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese have corralled a bunch of us suckers into a 30 Days of Writing exercise. Yeah, I know. I must have stupid written backwards on my forehead. I don't know how they figured it out. They would have had to look in my mirror to realize it. Anyhoo, the first day's theme is - surprise, surprise - cheese. And here are the internet imbeciles Nicky and Mike managed to sucker into to this little exercise: Well, first off there's me! Once you've read my post you can visit: Mike and Nicky , Cheryl , If I Were God , Katherine , Laughing Mom , Linda M , Malisa , MikeWJ , Sandra , Leeuna and Still Unfinished . Okay, who cut the cheese? Well growing up in my house it was usually my mother. She prepared and served the food and the knife ...

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