Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Toilet Humour



My toilet was on the fritz so I called a plumber.

When the doorbell rang I was surprised the repairman was a woman. And she was gorgeous. No American standard, believe me.

She told me her name was Fawcett.  I thought "Yep, I'd tap that."

I was struck dumb. I flushed in embarrassment. But she didn't seem to notice and plunged into her work.

I had to crane my neck to see what she was doing.

I asked if she could use any help. She said she could handle it.

But I knew she was having a tough time of it 'cause she nearly blew a gasket.

She about bowled me over because she swore like a stevedore. Whatever floats your boat, I thought.

And then I thought if she'd taken elocution lessons they'd surely gone to waste.

Oh, well.

For me, though, it was like water off a duck's back. I wasn't offended. There was no chance that I'd sewer.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a can of motor oil; an odd item to fix a toilet with. I said "What's that?" "Valve-o-line, of course," she replied. I felt like a complete toto.

Soon she was done and said to me "Urine luck. I'll only charge you for the parts not the labour." "Holy crap, I piped up, "that's a great deal".

I fixture with my unblinking eyes and said "tanks a lot".

I think she liked me because she gave me her number and said I could Kohler.



19 comments:

Boom Boom Larew said...

No more potty talk from you, sir! (I'm off to play some toilet tag with the kidlets again today.)

nonamedufus said...

No more potty talk? Well, that depends.

Laughing Mom said...

This left me flooded with joy...or something...

nonamedufus said...

Oh. I'm just overflowing with puns today.

Nicky said...

You must have really reached into the bowels of pun Hell for this one. I hope it wasn't too much of a strain.

nonamedufus said...

No, I gave them your name and got a good seat.

Nora Blithe said...

You know I believed this was true until I got to Fawcett. Silly me. :)

nonamedufus said...

So were you hot or cold about this post?

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Nora Blithe said...

Just tepid.

Nora Blithe said...

(Does that count as a pun? I'm not very good at them. I'll yield to your expertise.)

nonamedufus said...

Ice-ee. (I see)

nonamedufus said...

I can't do this anymore. I'm drained. (hahahahaha)

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meleahrebeccah said...

You are SOFA KING funny and punny I can't stop laughing!!

nonamedufus said...

It's hard work coming up with all those puns. I plumb the depths of creativity to come up with them.

meleahrebeccah said...

You always amaze me!

nonamedufus said...

It's hard work always amazing you.

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