I spent the weekend watching bums. Well, actually, I watched a lot of sports but by default I saw a lot of bums.
First it was the ladies tennis at Wimbledon. Serena Williams was playing somebody Saturday but after several hours of viewing Ms. Williams rear end I couldn't tell you who it was. I think Serena - and her purple underwear - won, though.
Then came the Tour de France. Those guys really work their asses off. (See what I did there?) And I watched them do it both Saturday and Sunday. But here's the thing about cycling. Those guys have a little added padding in their pants. No they don't shove a sock down their underwear. I'm talking about the other end. The camera kept focussing on cyclists posteriors and I noticed what I thought was some additional fabric where they, you know, sit. Sure enough, after googling for it here's what I found...
I closed out my sports spectacular weekend watching a couple hours of golf Sunday afternoon. Guess what? More bums!
If you ever watch golf, did you ever notice how the camera lingers as guys bend over to pick their ball out of the cup? It's true. So you better be wearing the proper pants.
Troy Kelly wasn't. Nope, he was wearing this pair of white pants that modesty prevents me from sharing pictorially with you but that when he bent to retrieve his ball you could see his blue shirt shining through the backside of his pants. Now I've seen this before with other golfers, Phil Mickelson in particular, so you think Mr. Kelly would know better.
Like, you'd think other golfers would say something before he starts his round. Or, for heaven's sake, where's his wife in all this. This is one time a woman should be listened to when she says "Are you really going to wear that?" You know that saying "Don't wear white after Labour Day" I think for golfers they should amend it to say "Don't wear white EVER!"
Of course there's always the other end of the spectrum. You'll never see John Daly's shirt through his pants, although I'm not sure you could tell for sure. And you might go blind...