True North Strong and Free.

You know my homeland is a quiet little nation that basically wouldn't hurt a flea. Living next door to the land of the free and the home of the brave isn't easy for such a traditionally namby-pamby nation. But our government is doing its best to catch up, even though we can't seem to make up our minds who we want to emulate. And our government's efforts have been schizophrenic to say the least.

For example, our Prime Minister likes the idea of hanging Obama...his picture that is...in American embassies around the world. Not to be outdone, Stephen Harper ordered pictures of the Queen to be hung in all Canadian embassies. Score one for the Brits.

Meanwhile the Prime Minister likes the idea of the distinctive paint job of Air Force One. So he's ordered one of our Air Force's dull grey Airbuses at his disposal to be painted with "some bright colours". Score one for the Yanks.

Not too long ago, the Prime Minister recently restored the word "Royal" to the Canadian Air Force's moniker as well as to the Navy's. Points again to the Brits. But nobody gave a thought to the French translation of RCAF the Air Force's nom de guerre and unofficially FARC was adopted. FARC however is apparently widely known as being associated with Columbia's brutal guerilla army. Points to Columbia. (One senior defence official was heard to murmur "Well, FARC me" at the height of the controversy.)

Last summer, our Minister of Defence called up one of the force's Search and Rescue helicopters to pick him up from a fishing holiday in Newfoundland. They pulled him up in a basket and away they went. I don't know who gets the points for that. Maybe the defence minister.

There are many other examples of imperial and presidential-like activity by our government. The next example isn't either of those but it is equally difficult to explain.

A Canadian Senator has launched a move to change Canada's national symbol from the beaver to the polar bear. How can this be? Canadians love their beaver. Beavers are highly respected. It's every Canadian man's dream to conquer and tame a beaver.

But this Senator wants to replace beavers with polar bears. Polar bears!!! Think of what that might do to our nation's psyche. I guess if this movement is successful, points to the beaver-haters.

And, hey, Canadians love their beavers. They're adorable and have been our national image since who knows when. Besides, these polar bears already have a nice-paying gig.

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel...you know the list, it goes on and on. The list of Hollywood hick-ups who not content to meltdown behind closed doors have to drag each and every detail out into the light of day and share it with all of us. Well, add Charlie Sheen to that luckless and lascivious list of losers. In the past few days he's been on every major media soapbox complaining abut how he's been treated and how he's misunderstood. Last night he spent an hour on ABC's 20/20 "in his own words". Charlie, you should have stuck to the script. "I have a highly evolved brain". You know I never did like that song by Helen Reddy in the 70s "I Am Woman". But I have to say the melody really leant itself well to a parody of Hollywood's latest flame-out, Charlie Sheen. Although I never thought I'd hear myself say this, my sincerest apologies to Helen Reddy. And now if you're ready (a little play on wor...

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