Skip to main content

When You Gotta Go

Image result for constipation


It was embarrassing. Conrad hadn't had a poop in a week. No matter how hard he tried; no matter how long he sat it just wasn't happening. And he'd eaten enough prunes and ingested enough Benifiber to last a lifetime. After the third day his wife had jokingly started calling him Constipated Conrad. But to Conrad it was no joke. He needed to do something to rid himself of this accursed dilemma.

Then in the middle of the night Conrad had awoken doubled over in pain. The build up of bile was becoming unmanageable as was evident in what was happening in his stomach. His wife called 911 and an ambulance was dispatched.

Conrad didn't find it nearly as humorous as the ambulance attendants and he suffered through their questions of what he'd eaten and what he'd taken in an effort to break the dam, as it were. (Their words, not mine.) Wheeled into Emergency, Conrad suffered further indignation as the nurse asked him many of the same questions posed by the first responders.

Satisfied she'd obtained all the information she could from Conrad the nurse whispered into his wife's ear.

"What's that?" shouted Conrad. "I'm the one with the problem" he yelled. "You should be telling that to me!"

"Well" said the nurse "I was just telling your wife that we'd likely have to give you something that was anathema to you."

"Oh no you don't" squirmed Conrad, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. "I'm not taking no anathema."

The nurse and Conrad's wife dissolved into laughter as the nurse quickly responded "Don't worry Conrad we're all friends here. We're not enemas."

The prompt from my friends at Studio30+ is accursed/anathema this week. They're having trouble with their website lately but clicking on the link will take you to their Facebook page where you can see the rest of the accursed submissions.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

30 Days of Photos - #24 - Crowd

Welcome to  30 Days of Photos , where 18 bloggers are participating in posting a photo a day for 30 days. Here are the other 17 you can visit after you've been here: Ziva ,  Mike ,  Nicky & Mike ,  Mo ,  Meleah ,  Bryan ,  Mariann ,  Malissa ,  Nora ,  Laughing Mom ,  Tanya ,  Elizabeth ,  00dozo ,  Cheryl ,  Kristen  and  Katherine I took a bit of a different take on today's theme. I don't get out much and when I do I never really encounter a crowd. So how the heck will I take a picture of one?  So for today's pic I went to my music collection and pulled out a couple of my Crowded House CDs. Do you know them? Crowded House is an Australian band that started out as Split Enz in the 70s, the brainchild of Neil Finn who hailed from New Zealand. They were most popular in the decade beginning in the mid 80s. Brother Tim also played in the group. One of my favourite Cr...