Skip to main content

WTF?



Fiona and Frank Fiddler are in love. Fully. Completely. They must be. Fiona and Frank Fiddler have 14 children, all whose names begin with the letter "F". You know how parents with just a few children mix them up and run through their names until they hit on the right one?  One can just imagine the scene at the Fiddler dinner table. "Fred, Francis, Frank Jr. get your elbows off the table." "Fatima, Faith, Fannie stop picking your nose." "Farah, Fawn, Fay...which effin one are you again? Never mind, just pass the fish."

Before I forget I should share how this all began. Fiona and Frank met in Fiji, each while on vacation. Over a chance encounter and a fruity drink at the Hotel Fairmont bar they fell hopelessly in love. As the Beatles would say 'It would be a love that would last forever'.

Back home in Fredericksburg, Texas Fiona and Frank quickly became Mr and Mrs Fiddler. And while neither of them were musicians, it soon became obvious to family and friends they certainly  knew how to fiddle around.

Fiona was a financial planner and Frank sold fridges and they managed to buy a four-bedroom bungalow in which to start a family. If they worried about whether or not they could get pregnant they needn't have. Frank Jr, their first-born proved them fertile. Fatima, their fourteenth proved them good Catholics.  If their faith were based on their fertility then Fiona and Frank Fiddler already each had one fecund foot in heaven.

The scene around the TV after dinner was a sight to behold. The family would spread out on a collection of feathered futons and watch their favourite show together, Family Feud. Then they'd watch X-Files. They especially liked Fox Mulder, although, sometimes they found this show a little frightening and a little far-fetched...but they wanted to believe. Finally, before the little ones flew off to bed they all watched repeats of Fantasy Island.

And with that this funny little fable of fertile Fiona and Frank Fiddler and family comes to an end. Finally. As the French would say 'finis'.


This week the folks at Studio30+ ran with fecund/fertile as their writing prompt. 






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel...you know the list, it goes on and on. The list of Hollywood hick-ups who not content to meltdown behind closed doors have to drag each and every detail out into the light of day and share it with all of us. Well, add Charlie Sheen to that luckless and lascivious list of losers. In the past few days he's been on every major media soapbox complaining abut how he's been treated and how he's misunderstood. Last night he spent an hour on ABC's 20/20 "in his own words". Charlie, you should have stuck to the script. "I have a highly evolved brain". You know I never did like that song by Helen Reddy in the 70s "I Am Woman". But I have to say the melody really leant itself well to a parody of Hollywood's latest flame-out, Charlie Sheen. Although I never thought I'd hear myself say this, my sincerest apologies to Helen Reddy. And now if you're ready (a little play on wor...