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30DW2-2 - Day 12: The Day I Met Abraham Lincoln

Hmm. Should I stay in tonight and Watch Honey Boo Boo or go out to the theatre?


Oh, man, that alarm seems to have gone off early.

What time is it?

Oh, lord it's 7:30 already.

Well, big day today. Our American Cousin opens tonight and of all people the President will be there.

Who knew he was a such a big fan of the theatre?

Better get moving. Shower, shit and shave. Need to look my best for Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln.

Ironic how the Lincolns will be attending the Ford Theatre, eh? I wonder if that young mustang, their son, will be with them?

***

Hi, Bob. How's it going in the snack bar? Did we get that order of Cheez-Whiz in for the nachos? We did? Great! I want to to be sure Abe's love of cheese is fully filled. I mean he must love cheese. Why else would he be coming to see this play?

And what about the white chocolate and black liquorice? Are we all stocked up? Yeah? That's great. We want him to know the two can live in harmony.

***

Well, half-an-hour to go until they raise the curtain. The house is filling up nicely. We have the creme de la creme of Washington society this evening. I hope the cast milks this for all its worth. Ha, ha, sometimes I kill myself. Hmm, I wonder where General and Mrs Grant are?

***

The play's already started. Where's the President and his wife? People will soon be referring to him as the late Mr. Lincoln.

Ah, here they come.

Good evening Mr. President, Mrs. Lincoln. I'm John Ford, owner of this fine establishment.

A lovely day isn't it? Are you all set for an evening of high drama? We have a confederacy of your favourites at the snack bar, Mr. Lincoln. I know you don't want to be a slave to your pet food indulgences but unshackle your hesitations and dig in.

All set?

Would you prefer to be seated in the orchestra this evening, sir, or a Booth, perhaps?

And with that shot, history was made...


***

Shoot on over to Nicky and Mike at We Work For Cheese and see who else met Abe Lincoln today.

Comments

Boom Boom Larew said…
You must be anticipating the State of the Union address this evening by Our American Cousin. (It's not preempting Honey Boo Boo, is it?) I think I'll sit in the orchestra this evening... just to be on the safe side. I never did like those Booths.
nonamedufus said…
You know I've never seen this Honey Boo Boo person. I've only read about the characters in the show on those entertainment sites. Which do you think is more entertaining: Honey Boo Boo or State of the Union?
Laughing Mom said…
Aww...you are not only #1 today, but King of the Punnys. I loved the "late Mr. Lincoln" and "Booth" remarks. Spot on!
nonamedufus said…
You are too kind, LM. I'm glad you enjoyed this. I had fun writing it.
Ziva said…
Oh god, dufus, the puns, they're killing me!
nonamedufus said…
Well, I guess my work here is done.
Linda Medrano said…
You are a punny punny man!
Linda R. said…
Dufus I think you've taken center stage with this one.
nonamedufus said…
It's who I am. Some say puns are the lowest form of humour. I say only if you didn't think of it first!
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, #1 with a bullet today, eh?
Cheryl P. said…
Very clever way to weave your puns in...very clever in deed. Given the choice, and knowing how it came out..he should of stayed at the snack bar.
nonamedufus said…
Yes indeed. Who knew the evening would end with a bang!
Boom Boom Larew said…
I've never seen Honey Boo Boo either... because I live under a rock. But I have heard of the president, so I guess I'll be watching him this evening. (Or maybe I'll just skip it so I can write a new 30M2DoW post for tomorrow.)
MalisaHargrove said…
This is by far my all-time favorite story penned by Dufus! I am laughing at one pun when yet another one hits me. Too hilarious! I am going to have Lurch read this one. Thanks for pure entertainment, Dufus.
nonamedufus said…
That's the idea Boom Boom!
nonamedufus said…
Aw, thanks Malisa. But there's no need to be so theatrical. (Yuk, yuk.)
Cheryl said…
I don't know if this if my favorite, but it sure was pun-filled ride.
Nicky said…
I think those were actually Abe's last words.
Nicky said…
Skip it and write gets my vote! :-)
Nicky said…
If he could read this, I think Lincoln would be very proud of you, Dufus. Ok, maybe he wouldn't be but I am. And that's the important thing.
Indigo Roth said…
"Would you prefer to be seated in the orchestra this evening, sir, or a Booth, perhaps?" You are a bad man, Dufus; I've said it before.
nonamedufus said…
Well, I took a shot.
nonamedufus said…
I thought you'd go for that.
nonamedufus said…
They tend to envelop(e) you don't they.
nonamedufus said…
Yes that's very important Nicky! (Laughs out the side of his mouth.)
nonamedufus said…
The whole premise for this bit started with that line. The rest kind of just flowed.
mikewjattoomanymornings said…
Is it any coincidence that FORD stands for Found On Road Dead? I think not, NoName, I think not.
mikewjattoomanymornings said…
You fired off a whole clip, NoName.
P.J. said…
Well, erm, uh... not much to say on this one...
KZ said…
Again with the puns! I'm beginning to see you have a penchant for painful wordplay. I happen to have a great appreciation for puns (both good and bad ones), so I have a great affection for this post of yours. Funny stuff, Dufus.
nonamedufus said…
In a manner of speaking. Did I hit the target?
nonamedufus said…
Hey, easy. I once owned a Pinto. Never got rear ended, luckily enough.
nonamedufus said…
Erm, ah, well, okay.
nonamedufus said…
That's great KZ! I now have a fan base of one!
Cadeaux said…
Cute. But I think Lincoln will hunt you down in the afterlife for that one. ;)
nonamedufus said…
Are you saying the guy doesn't have a sense of humour?

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