Skip to main content

Everybody Snores


Well it's the wee hours of another Tuesday and I can't sleep. It's my chemo pills. I take them Monday and I have insomnia Monday night. Tonight just after midnight I was listening to a cover version of Everybody Hurts on my iPad. The wifey was fast asleep so I was using ear buds. Yet, what was that? Son of a gun if she wasn't snoring...and in perfect unison with the song: "Everybody hurts - hrmpf - sometimes". Oh, and before you think my wife was snorting like a pork (that's something my sweet francophone spouse would say) she has the most genteel, lady-like snore I've ever heard. Me, on the other hand, when I do sleep and sometimes snore, I just roar. And I have the bruises to prove it where my wife has kicked me. Anyway I was inspired by my wife's nocturnal nuance and the following is the result.

Well my day was long and my night
My night was mine to own
Then for sure I'd had enough of no sleep, I hung on
Didn't let myself go
My body cries and everybody snores 'cept me

Sometimes I sing a song
But this time it's all wrong
Then my day is night, a groan (hrmpf gone, hrmpf gone)
And I feel like sleeping: go (hrmpf gone)
And I think I've had too many of these pills, my sleep's gone

Everybody snores
Take comfort in your bed
Everybody snores
Don't kick your foot. Oh, no
Don't kick your foot
If you think I'm in the zone, no, no, no, you are so alone

If I'm not sleeping my dear wife
Kick me at night is wrong
When you think you've had too much of this hrmpf to bang on

Well that makes me hurt sometimes
My body cries
And everybody snores 'cept me
And everybody snores 'cept me
So don't kick, don't kick
Hold on, hold on
Twas you, twas you!
(It was, it was)

Everybody snores
'Cept me, I'm alone


If you're curious, here's the R.E.M version. How ironic. I parodied a song about not sleeping by a group called R.E.M.



Comments

00dozo said…
Hey, dufus! Nice to hear from you, even if intermittently.

I think everyone is snoring today. With my own recent bouts of insomnia I've discovered that I, too, have a glottal dysfunction except it's on the exhale. Otherwise, I am told that I normally 'breath hard' (and probably not in the way I would like).

Get well.

;-)
nonamedufus said…
Keep breathing hard, 00dozo. You never know when it might come in handy! ;)
Shawn said…
dufus,
I've been having trouble sleeping lately. I think it's because I miss you.
I am glad you are feeling up to posting.
Shawn said…
dufus,
I've been having trouble sleeping lately. I think it's because I miss you.
I am glad you are feeling up to posting.
StubbornFool said…
dufus,
I've been having trouble sleeping lately. I think it's because I miss you.
I am glad you are feeling up to posting.
nonamedufus said…
Um, Shawn? You're repeating yourself. But thanks.
nonamedufus said…
Ditto
nonamedufus said…
Double ditto.
Nicky said…
You know, the first thing I thought when I was reading this was "He's got insomnia listening to REM?!". Poor Dufus. Maybe you should put CPAC on the television. That usually knocks me out in about 0.0000001 seconds. :-)

Feel better, my friend.
nonamedufus said…
I tuned in as you suggested. I thought maybe they might be running the best of Stephen Harper's speeches. Turns out there's no such program.
meleahrebeccah said…
Ahahahahhahha! I like your version of the song better!

And, I snore like a wild animal. It's terrible.
Shawn said…
I kept getting an error message, I swear, and I just kept clicking.
nonamedufus said…
Weird.
nonamedufus said…
Hmmm. A wild animal eh?
Ziva said…
Huh, when M snores, I usually just hit him really hard. But I guess I could try writing him a song next time.
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, at least a song doesn't leave bruises.
Malisa said…
Unfortunately, I'm a snoring fool! I sound like a 747 taking off. I wake myself up snoring so loud. sigh. I've told my physician that if I die mysteriously, check my nose for my husband's fingerprints because I have caught him pinching my nostrils together to stop my snoring!
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, I don't think my wife will be writing song anytime soon, Ziva
nonamedufus said…
Ha, ha, ha. My wife does that too. Not to stop me snoring. To stop me breathing!
Mikewj said…
Your wife sounds sooooo hawt. You lucky dawg, you.
Mikewj said…
Oh, a punchline contest!

How about, "Love is like oxygen, and if you don't shut up soon, I'm cutting yours off." ?
nonamedufus said…
Yeah, that works. So does Silence is Golden.
Linda Medrano said…
Rolling me over on my side helps. I only snore if I am lying on my back. I hope sleep comes tonight!
nonamedufus said…
There's a joke in there about closing your eyes and thinking of England but I'm not gonna go there.

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I read five books last month bringing my year to date total to 61, well past the 50 I estimated at the beginning of the year. And I've yet to get through December.

The month started out with The Nix, the debut novel by Nathan Hill which has been receiving a lot off positive reviews. In it Hill flips back and fourth from the 1968 Chicago protests and 2011 in a desperate search for the truth behind why his mother abandoned him at an early age. In between Hill takes on politics, the media and addiction as well as other aspects of society. It's a well-spun tale and I quite enjoyed reading it.

Next up was the auto-biographical I Am Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. This was somewhat of a scattered affair but an interesting read nonetheless. Wilson - or his ghostwriter - however is no Hemingway.

Then it was on to one of my favourite authors, Ian Rankin and his latest tale of now retired Inspector John Rebus, Rather Be The Devil. I never tire of these stories and this is the 21st in …

Traveling Along Singing A Song

Pete and Paulie were strolling along one day. The sun was bright, the air was cool, the birds chirped crazily in the trees and the squirrels  munched merrily on their nuts. Well not their nuts exactly. Nuts they found on the ground and in the gardens in the park.

Paulie felt so good he began to whistle. It wasn't any tune in particular, just one of those annoyingly tuneless whistles that wandered all over the place. Pete looked at Paulie and he squiggled up his nose and he said "What the hell is that?" Paulie replied "Oh nothing in particular. I'm just happy." "But you're not even whistling a tune" said Pete. Paulie replied "If you're so wise I'd like to see you do better, Pete."

Pete went silent for a moment and seemed to mumble to himself for a moment or two. Then he cleared his throat with a little cough, he opened his mouth and he began to sing.


"There once was a king very wise
Who spoke to his enemies in disguise
T…

My Back Pages - 2016

Here, as promised is a month-by-month breakdown of the 67 books I delved into this year. I got off to a strong start and then my intake dwindled for a couple of months until picking back up in April. I'll let you in on my favourites at the end of this list.

January

Here, There and Everywhere:
My Life Recording the Music of the Beatles - Geoff Emerick - ****
H is for Hawk - Helen Macdonald - ***
Close To The Edge - The Story of Yes - Chris Welch - ***
Sweet Caress - William Boyd - ****


February

Purity by Jonathan Franzen 
Still Alice by Lisa Genova.


March

Natchez Burning - Greg Iles
The Promise (Elvis Cole #20) - Robert Crais

April

The Snowman (Harry Hole)- Joe Nesbo ****
Phantom (Harry Hole) - Joe Nesbo ****
The Leopard (Harry Hole) - Jo Nesbo ****


May

George Harrison Reconsidered ***
The Heart Goes Last - Margaret Atwood ****
Dropping The Needle - The Vinyl Dialogues Volume II ***
The Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead, (Dave Robicheaux #6) - James Lee Burke****


June/.July

 Lust and Wonder - Aug…