Wednesday, 18 January 2017

I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up


It was about three days into Bob's vacation. He'd travelled to warmer climes to escape the wintry weather back home. From what he'd seen on social media he'd picked the right time. Snow, sleet and freezing raining had all put in an appearance in his absence.

Bob felt lucky. Even though he had some mobility issues and walked with a cane, he managed to make the daily trek past the resort's swimming pools to his bamboo-umbrellaed beach chair near the ocean's edge where he enjoyed the sites and sounds of the beach.

So, in the absence of niveous nervousness Bob relaxed away the hours in the tropical sun. But on this day Bob had stayed all morning at the beach and eventually had to go pee. Instead of walking all the way back to the condo Bob thought he'd just dip quickly in the ocean, subtly relieve himself and then return to his spot among the dancing dune buggies and bikini-clad babes. Particularly the latter and for that he was grateful for his sunglasses.

Anyway, he said to his wife that he'd accompany her into the water and leaning on her and without his cane he shakily walked across the beach into the ocean.

Well, it took only minutes for a wave to knock Bob off his feet not unlike a bowling pin. He struggled to stand but wave after wave crashed against him and he just couldn't get his legs under himself to stand as they turned to rubber. Like a sea turtle Bob grovelled in the surf until a passerby helped his wife lift him to is feet and pretty much dragged him back to the dry sand.

Did his life flash before his eyes? No, all he could think of was that infernal line from that damn commercial "I've fallen and I can't get up". He used to laugh at that. But not today.

Worst of all he still had to go pee.

The prompt from the folks at Two Word Tuesday on the Our Write Side site this week is niveous/wintry. This tale may or may not be true. The names have been changed to protect the incontinent.

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