Sunday, 10 May 2015

Size Doesn't Matter


Jane first met Jeffrey at Starbucks. She bumped into him, literally, in the queue. I like that word queue. Hard to spell though. Anyway, Jane bumped into Jeffrey from behind and when he turned around it was like the Friendly Giant was towering over her. That's a Canadian reference. If you're not Canadian, think Jolly Green Giant or the Hulk, but lose the green reference, because Jeffrey wasn't green. But he was friendly and jolly and as they sat together out of necessity at the one remaining table in the store, Jane had to laugh behind her hand because it looked like poor Jeffrey was sitting at one of those tiny school desks of Kindergarten kids.

So they got to talking over their latte grandes, because that's what they call them at that snooty Starbucks, otherwise known as medium coffees with a bit of whipped milk and they discovered they had a lot in common. They both loved the same kind of music, had similar interests in movies and enjoyed the same detective novels by authors like Van De Wetering,  Lehane, Connelly, Louise Penny ,  Crais and many many more. So many more they both decided to have another medium coff...er...Latte Grande.

They exchanged numbers and promised to call. He called first and Jane was thrilled. Jeffrey asked if maybe she'd like to have dinner. She agreed and they met at one of the nicer restaurants in town. A lovely meal and a good bottle of Clos des Pares helped ease them both as they continued their discussion about music, books and cinema. She told him she was single. He told her he was divorced, no kids.

One thing led to another and he took her home to his condo. She was impressed by his decor. He told her he shopped very carefully because, given his size he wanted to be comfortable. The kitchen table and chairs were tall, the sofa was extra large and as she would find out later his bed was gigantic.

After several hours of amazing lovemaking Jane quietly got up to go to the washroom and when she came back she yelled "Holy cow, Jeffrey,  I almost fell into your toilet. I know you're large and all but that commode is, um, er, commodious!"

Roomy/commodious is the prompt from the folks at Studio30+ this week. Of course I chose commodious.


6 comments:

Tara R. said...

You never fail to make me laugh, and I am constantly surprised at where the joke is hidden.

nonamedufus said...

Thanks, Tara. You know, I see those prompts and my mind just snaps. Sometimes I don't know just where I'm going.

Linda R. said...

Very interesting use of the prompt. A funny story and a lesson in Canadian giants. Perhaps I should check out this Studio 30 sometime.

nonamedufus said...

Friendly Giant was a mainstay of children's television programming for years. Yes, you should join Studio30+. It stimulates me every week.

Paula Larew Wooters said...

He obviously got the Kohler Memoirs Stately Comfort Height 2-piece, 1.28 GPF Round Toilet in White. I can personally attest that it's a very commodious commode.

nonamedufus said...

I'm not going to go there. I bet you're the kind of woman who asks people if your pants make your ass look big...or not.

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