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Thoughts on Wives . . .(not mine, of course!)

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
(Sacha Guitry)
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
(Hemant Joshi)
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
(Socrates)
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
(Dumas)
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? (Sigmund Freud)
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
(Anonymous)
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
(Henny Youngman)
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
(Sam Kinison)
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
(James Holt McGavran)
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
(Patrick Murray)
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
(Nash)
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
(Anonymous)
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
(Henny Youngman)
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
(Rodney Dangerfield)
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
(Milton Berle)
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
(Anonymous)
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
(Anonymous)
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

The international sign for marriage:

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I Do

It was noon. The sun shone brightly in the sky. Birds chirped merrily in the trees. The sounds of traffic drifted up from the street. George picked up his keys and headed for the apartment door. This was a special day. Perhaps the most special day of his life to date. Today was the day he would ask Georgina to marry him. Georgina was his girlfriend. French. From France.

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He grabbed everything, locked the apartment door and descended the stairs. The restaurant was nearby so he decided to walk. As he waited on the corner for the light to change he thought of spending the rest of his life with Georgina. Not that he was being presumptuous but he had a good sense she felt the same way too. He was sure it was kismet. And besides wi…