You Know You're Getting Older When...

Two days past my birthday, and I came across these one-liners about getting old. I love the one about the address book with people that mostly start with Dr!

You know you're getting older when:

A fortune teller offers to read your face
The little old gray haired lady you help across the street... is your wife
You get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out." (Jerry Seinfeld)
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions
You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere

You actually want socks for Christmas.
You and your teeth don't sleep together
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work
You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

You're on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money does.
All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room
People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You send money to PBS
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You got cable for The Weather Channel.
You find yourself smiling at this list

Comments

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel...you know the list, it goes on and on. The list of Hollywood hick-ups who not content to meltdown behind closed doors have to drag each and every detail out into the light of day and share it with all of us. Well, add Charlie Sheen to that luckless and lascivious list of losers. In the past few days he's been on every major media soapbox complaining abut how he's been treated and how he's misunderstood. Last night he spent an hour on ABC's 20/20 "in his own words". Charlie, you should have stuck to the script. "I have a highly evolved brain". You know I never did like that song by Helen Reddy in the 70s "I Am Woman". But I have to say the melody really leant itself well to a parody of Hollywood's latest flame-out, Charlie Sheen. Although I never thought I'd hear myself say this, my sincerest apologies to Helen Reddy. And now if you're ready (a little play on wor...

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