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Jack Lalanne is Twerkin' in His Grave

Jack: The Whole Package

Jack Lalanne was the Godfather of Fitness. He was also Mr Power Juicer but we won't go there. He died in 2011 at the age of 95. His dedication to fitness and nutrition would appear to have paid off.

But now, I'm sure, he'd be spinning in his grave. Or, perhaps, to be current, twerkin' in his grave.

"What's twerkin'?" I hear you say. (Not really but this narrative works better this way.) Well I'm glad you asked.

You see I've been wondering the very same thing for the last little while until I did a little research. You know, of course, that from time to time I cruise the entertainment websites - places like TMZ and Perez Hilton - where I avidly follow the empty lives of people who's names mean absolutely nothing to me. Well, over the last little while I've come across increasing references to twerkin'. Miley Cyrus does it. You know, Billy "Achy Breaky Heart" Ray's kid? And Rihanna does it. She's that big blunt puffin' so-called singer and Chris Brown punching bag. You know the one.

Now when I first saw this reference I thought it had to do something with Twitter or tweeting, like you know maybe editing your tweet, like tweaking it. But no that wasn't it. Then I thought it was the next big craze like "planking" but I just couldn't imagine how it worked and chalked it up to "kids these days".

Then I thought Miley and Rihanna were studying auto mechanics and were learning how to tweak an engine for higher performance and using today's vernacular called it twerkin'. But no that wasn't it either.

Turns out watching people twerking is like watching someone having sex with their clothes on. Why they'd want to do this, I don't know. To my way of thinking it'd be much easier with their clothes off. But hey, maybe they're practicing safe sex. And that's a good thing.

It seems twerkin' is all about shaking your ass when dancing. And the bigger the ass the better the twerk, apparently. And not just any old shaking. No, there's a method to this ass-shakin' madness. Yeah, no shit. According to Wikipedia the word twerking may be derived from one of two sources:
- a contraction of "footwork", or
- a portmanteau (ooh, big word) of twist and jerk.

Um, guys, that's not quite it. Keep practicing.

Who knew? And who knew twerking was actually part of hip-hop culture making an appearance in 1993 through a record by DJ Jubilee called Do The Jubilee All. My, my, how original. But these days, again according to Wikipedia, twerking is the most popular dance move since the Dougie. I'm not gonna go there. You can look it up.

I'm kinda getting out of my depth here, almost back to those entertainment sites with names I don't know.

I'm not a big dancer. And I haven't tripped the light fantastic for a long, long time. Not since the Swim,  the Mashed Potato or that old favourite the Twist. Okay well maybe the Frug, the Hustle and not to mention the Funky Chicken, the Jerk and the Hokey Pokey. Hey, I can be hip when I want to. Or, at my age,  throw one out.

Having seen examples of twerkin' on those entertainment sites and You Tube I can say with conviction I'm just too old to twerk. I'm sure if I threw something out it wouldn't come back.

Are you still wondering about what the hell I'm talking about? Take a gander at this most informative video. You're welcome...and happy twerkin' mofos. (I don't know what that means either but I hear it a lot these days.)

This whole twerkin' thing is kinda elusive for me, which coincidentally is one of the prompts this week over at Studio 30+. Drop by and check them out.


Debra She Who Seeks said…
Ugh. Looks too much like exercise to me.
nonamedufus said…
Oh, indeed. For the eyes.
Thanks. Love learning new words even when they're stupid. Enjoyed the video too. Please excuse me me while I go twerkin off.
nonamedufus said…
I'm not even gonna go there.
Indigo Roth said…
Good grief, I have nothing to add to this, tho I appreciate the education. Sorta.
nonamedufus said…
Just part of the public service I provide here. You're welcome and happy twerkin'.
Nicky said…
Well, you learn something new everyday. Sometimes, that's unfortunate.
nonamedufus said…
I'd like to see you practice this, Nicky. It'd be a great workout. You can even do it in stilettos. I'll check back with you later to see how you're doing.
babs (beetle) said…
Oh my word! I'd feel a real *twerp doing the twerk!
*UK slang meaning idiot.
nonamedufus said…
I'm right there with you Babs. Just couple of twerps we are.
Marie Nicole said…
If doing this will have me looking like Rihanna, but not treated like her, then I'm in. Sorry. She's got the looks!
katbiggie said…
nonamedufus said…
Maybe for you but I don't think it would work for me.
nonamedufus said…
Remember the Tubes in the late 70s? Twerkin' reminds me of their song I Slipped My Disco:

I tried to hustle
I tried to bump
I was always steppin'
When it was time to jump

My baby said quit
I told her I wouldn't
If she asked me today
I'd say I couldn't

Slipped my disco--he slipped his disco
Slipped my disco when I was dancing with you, baby
redheadranting said…
Speechless. And a little sorry I had to see that.

Who thinks these things up?
nonamedufus said…
This takes "shake your booty" to a whole new level, don't ya think?
Boom Boom Larew said…
Good lord... the squat alone would kill me.
nonamedufus said…
I'm not gonna go there.
Cheryl said…
When I'm out of this damn no-knee-jerk thing, I'm bringing this video to my physical therapist so she knows exactly what my goals are for rehabilitation. I hope to be twerkin' by October, baby!
meleahrebeccah said…
twerking is flippen HILARIOUS!
nonamedufus said…
Let me know when you start your rehab. That, I've gotta see.
nonamedufus said…
Indeed. How'd you like Jack's package?
Cheryl said…
I'll find out if they'll record my final sessions ~ the ones when I'm not crying like a baby because it hurts too much just to bend my knee.

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