Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Pause Ponder and Pun #152 - Halloween Edition

If you're here looking for the Photo Blogging Challenge for October, click on over to dufus daze. I've posted it there because it conflicted with running PPP here.

If you're here looking for PPP you're in the right place.

This week's caption contest just happens to be a special edition honouring Halloween. The picture isn't all that scary but I thought it might ring a bell.

Give it a go and leave your caption in the comments. Then come back Saturday, after you've eaten all your kids' halloween candy, and check out the winners

And if you're still craving a caption or two more check out Screaming MeMe's place as well as Chelle B the Offended Blogger to quell your caption craving.

Carry on.

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Trick or Treat (Part II)

I can't recall with great precision just what I used to dress up as on Halloween when I was a kid. Cowboys and Indians was a favourite neighbourhood game back then so I think I was a cowboy a year or two. I seem to remember having a coonskin hat so Davey Crocket was another costume I donned. And, of course, the old sheet with two holes for my eyes was sure to scare the neighbours, unless the Klan was riding through southwestern Ontario in the 1950s and was giving us kids a one-day only membership special, uniform supplied.

As we got older we'd yell really brilliant things at people's doors like "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat". I wonder who made that up?

I guess some people didn't hear us because they gave us apples. Apples? There were a lot of squished apples in the road by the end of the evening as I recall.

And as we glided into our pre-teen years my buddies and I would stock up on eggs. We didn't give people a choice when it came to trick or treat. Our trick was to hurl those eggs at people's doors and windows and then run like hell.

And then before I knew it I had kids of my own and was taking them through the neighbourhood to trick and treat.

One year in particular still sticks in my mind. The boys wanted me to make them a costume. After I thought about it I thought I'd dress them up as space aliens. So I took some cardboard boxes - large ones for the body and smaller ones for the head. I covered the smaller ones in tin foil and spray painted the larger boxes a nice alien lime green. And then I made and pasted appropriate alien doo-dads on the front of the boxes.

The boys were thrilled. And I was so pleased that they liked them. So after dinner off we went.

Up to the first house they marched. They rang the bell and shouted "trick or treat" when our neighbour answered. He looked at the boys and said "Now there's a unique costume, fellas." My chest swelled with pride. and he looked at me and said "I don't think I've ever seen furnaces before."

Needless to say the boys weren't too happy after that. They thought they were aliens.

And that was the last year I had a hand in making any costumes.

This post was my contribution to the Humor Bloggers Halloween Spooktacular Blog Party. It runs from October 21 to November 1 and you can take a look at what other bloggers have written by visiting Humor Blogger Dot Com. Tell them dufus sent ya.

Saturday, 26 October 2013

Pause Ponder and Pinwheel

Wow, we got a crap-load of captioners for the return of Pause Ponder and Pun. I want to thank every one of you for dropping by and leaving a caption.  Not to mention those that dropped by and left a comment indicating they were too intimidated to leave a caption (you know who you are).

This was our pic...

I'm about to cite 5 entrants from this week. An unusual event to be sure. Two get special mention:

Boom Boom Larew, the Not a Cat Lady who said:

Everyone's jumping for joy, now that Pause Ponder and Pun has returned.

And Shawn the Stubborn Fool with this caption:

Nonamedufus takes the plunge as he relaunches Pause Ponder and Pun,

I had to mention these guys as they both appealed to the narcissist in me

Now here's who else got a laugh from me this week:

Cheesy Mike from We Work For Cheese posted:

After decades in space, China's first satellite finally re-enters the earth's atmosphere.

Agent 54 rose to the occasion with:

If you train hard, concentrate, focus and eat Taco Bell many times, 
you can gain the ability to fly using the power of your own farts.

But the caption that had me snorting Corona out of my nose was Malisa over at Moonlight Hallow with:

Competitive Olympic athlete Phuc Yu won the gold 
with his famous colon cleansing triple twist sphincter splash.

Way to caption Malisa. You done good, girl. You be hangin' with dufus this week! What do you say we head on down to the gym and ask Phuc Yu to teach us a few of his moves?

Oh, and here's your badge...

Thanks to everyone who played along this week. See ya Wednesday for a special Halloween edition of Pause Ponder and Pun.

Oh and, hey, I didn't highlight these guys blogs for the good of my health. Get on over to their hangouts and see how funny and creative they are. Thanks.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Pause Ponder and Pun #151 - We're Back

Hey, alright! You found me. Not like I didn't leave enough hints on Facebook and Google+. Some might have gotten tired of all that repetition but hey, that's what's known as marketing. Which reminds me I've gotta pick up some milk, bread and beer today.

Almost a year ago - it was November 2012 - I retired Pause Ponder and Pun. Hey, there's only so many funny pictures on the internet - that aren't cats - crying out for a caption. Well, guess what? We're bringing it back! I checked and there's a whole bunch of new pictures out there just screaming for your captions.

So, same deal as before. I'll run a pic on Wednesday, you leave a comment, the winner will be posted Saturday.

*Tell 'em what they'll win, Johnny*

I'll post the top three captions and the winner gets that dufus badge up there.

"Badges, we don't need no stinking badges," I hear you say.

Sure you do. You can post it on your blog. It's priceless.

So here's this week's pic. Good luck.

See ya Saturday.

And when you're done here, spin on over to my good blogging buddy Screaming MeMe's place.  She's back in the blogging business after a bit of an hiatus and has a caption thingy going on too! As well, the lovely and charming Chelle B, who is known around these parts as the, um, make that offended blogger, is running a caption contest as well. My God, we're taking over the internet. Drop by both their blogs. Tell 'em dufus sent you.

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Trick or Treat (Part I)

It's coming soon. Next week little monsters, literally and figuratively, will be ringing your doorbells and  knocking on your doors asking you for candy.

That's pretty forward and presumptuous of them when you think about it, isn't it?


And they'll hit you with that hallow threat of "trick or treat". I say hallow because if you choose trick I bet they don't have one.

They're only in it for the treat.

So between now and then I bet you spend somewhere around 40-50 dollars on mini chocolate bars, candy kisses, jujubes, jellybeans and what-have-you so you can dish them out to little kids in costumes carrying a little plastic pumpkin and probably to some bigger kids with no costumes and a pillow case.

Except me.

Yeah, that's right. I've lived in my current neighbourhood for 13 years now and not once has a kid come to my door on halloween. Not one!

And every year we still go out and buy a pile of candy on the off-chance someone will come.

And who gets to eat it?

No wonder I have diabetes.

The above post is part of the Humor Bloggers Halloween Spooktacular Blog Party in which I'm participating. It's running from October 21 to November 1. I'll be writing another Halloween post next week but in the interim you can visit Humor Bloggers Dot Com and see what other participants have come up with.

Oh, and don't forget. Tomorrow we relaunch Pause Ponder and Pun, our little caption contest. Be there or be your underwear, almost naked as a bear. Well you get the idea...

Monday, 21 October 2013

The Return of Pause Ponder and Pun...It's Coming

Captioners are standing by.

Only two days until PPP. No, I'm not incontinent. I'm talking about the return of Pause Ponder and Pun, my caption contest.

We're yanking it out of the closet dusting it off and ready to run a whole new series of weird and wonderful photos for your captioning pleasure.

We intend to give that Screaming MeMe a run for her money. She can't be the only one in the blogosphere to run a caption contest. So she and I have agreed to give you a caption couplet every Wednesday. Just like old times.

Tune in every Wednesday, then, for a chance to win my badge.

You could soon be a member of that elite group that's hangin' with dufus!

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Blog Action Day 2013

Today is Blog Action Day. This year's topic is human rights and the aim is to encourage bloggers from around the world to raise awareness about human rights by posting something about it. I posted a Blog Action Day badge in my left hand column last week. I hope you guys have been clicking on it.

You may think that's a stupid question but it happens every day all around the world.  Sadly, the chief targets are women, children and the poor. Violence, human trafficking, ethnic cleansing, child labour, the arrest, torture and in some cases killing of demonstrators against abuses of human rights are just some of the types of activities which impact on individuals' human rights.

But it doesn't just happen somewhere else. It happens in our own backyards too. Here in Canada I think of the plight of the poor and of Aboriginal people as two examples. In my province of Quebec, the government has come up with a Charter of Values that would forbid public employees from wearing religious and cultural artifacts in the workplace. This would include such items as kippas, turbans, burkas, hijabs and large crosses.

That's just plain silly. And it makes about as much sense as the following.

In one African nation, government officers wrap themselves in a cloak of invisibility while it tramples the human rights of their people. But I see through that.

Elsewhere, a Middle Eastern nation issues leather uniforms to their officers as Human Rights offences mount. But they can't hide from me.

Meanwhile, in a somewhat odd approach to force the population to bend to the will of the government enforcement officers' uniforms in another nation bear the digits 666 on the front and back. Ah, but I've got their number.

The issue of human rights violations is far more serious than my punny attempt at humour betrays. Think about it today. Visit the Blog Action Day website and see what other bloggers are saying. And leave your views in my comments.

In the meantime, take two and a half minutes to view this thoughtful video which summarizes the 30 articles of human rights...

Monday, 14 October 2013

Giving Thanks

Canadians are celebrating Thanksgiving today. I've taken the day off. But here's something I wrote at this time several years back. I think you may learn something from it...and get a chuckle or two while you're at it.

Oh man, undo the belt buckles (brrrp!). One turkey dinner down, one to go. It's Thanksgiving in Canada, where we have the sense to spread out our holidays but not our turkey dinners. A big dinner with friends last night and another tonight with family ensures I'll go searching in the back of my closet for those elastic waist-band khakis. I know, I know. Don't wear white after Labour Day. Well, I'm expanding my fashion sense, not to mention my waistline.
Thanksgiving in Canada occurs sooner than in the States. Ours is the 2nd Monday in October. Theirs is the 4th Thursday in November. What's up with that? Were we faster in bringing in the harvest? Well, no. Actually the first Canadian Thanksgiving was celebrated by explorer Martin Frobisher in 1578. He was looking for the elusive northwest passage, a water route to the Pacific Ocean. He never found it. But he decided to celebrate his survival of a rather arduous expedition. Good on ya Martin. Nice bay they named after ya.
Thay, anyone theen the northwest pathage, sweetie?

But Thanksgiving in Canada wasn't celebrated on a yearly basis until 1879 and our government didn't proclaim the day a holiday until 1957.

In the States, Thanksgiving has been an annual tradition since 1863. The American government saw fit to create a federal holiday in 1941.

Nevertheless, together we've managed to keep Butterball in business longer than the Ford Motor Company! (a little bail-out humour there).

Apart from eating big turkey dinners this weekend, Canadians settle in to a big double-header of the Canadian Football League. How appropriate. The sad Canadian cousin of the NFL, turkey's an apt description.

But it is the time of year to give thanks. What am I thankful for?

Elastic waist band khakis, of course!
And, in a 2013 update,  if you don't believe me, you can watch this...

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