Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Dufus Came From Orlando FLA

Yep, I'm back from 10 days in Orlando. It was just the tonic I needed. Quality time with the brothers Bray golfing, clubbing, ballooning, bocci balling - and the meals: I've never eaten so much. Diet time now that I'm back. Just take a look at this, for example, a cardiac arrest on a plate:

Bacon Cheese Burger, Chilli Cheese Fries and a couple of Coronas at the Tiki Bar

Of course the main attraction was the golf. My brother Steve lives on the Highlands Reserve Golf Course just outside Orlando. And Steve, Whitey (you remember Whitey! - "Hi Whitey") and I golfed every day but one.

Whitey, Dufus, Steve at Highlands Reserve - "watch out for that bunker!"

Sure we all look happy in the picture. But there were days, for each of us, when our favourite golf club was the rake. We all managed to find the bunkers on the course. To the point we thought we were guest stars on All In The Family.

So Steve and Whitey who are both avid golfers scored in the 80s. For a guy who has only been golfing for a year I did all right. I started the week at 118 and on the last day managed a 113 with a 5 stroke par on the 9th hole and a 4 stroke par on the 11th. I came way very pleased with my game.

A highlight of our trip was winning Trivia Night at Sunday's British Pub, known affectionately among the Bray brothers as the "ice store". This all started during last year's get-together when, having run out of ice at home we said we were going to the ice store for more. Turns out the pub is right next to Publix. Except we'd hit Sunday's and forget all about the ice. We visited the ice store a few times this year too, including trivia night.

But the deck had been stacked. Steve, who'd been down all month, alerted Ron the quizmaster that his brothers were coming down from Canada. So he created a "Canadian music" category, which of course we aced and when the night was done had won the overall contest...by a point! (that's point, not pint). So having been drinking all night what' the prize they award you? A jug of more beer? We deferred to claiming our prize the next day because we knew we'd have to get more ice. Steve and I claimed the prize while Whitey went shopping for ice. Oh, hey, we one this contest last year too. Whitey's thinking of getting t-shirts made up for us!

Another high-light of our trip, literally, was the day we all went hot air ballooning. It was a gas (get it?).  The Bray family, and 2 Brit friends, split two balloons. We lifted off around 7am from a farmer's field and for the next hour or so floated silently over the early morning Orlando countryside. The sunrise was gorgeous.





Now the owner of the balloon company, Bob's Balloon's, was quite entertaining and quite the entrepreneur. As we'd float over neighbourhoods of folks just getting up, some out on their porches having their morning coffee, Bob would drift down, peer over the side of the basket, give the balloon a shot of gas and shout "Good morning - Bob's Balloon's Dot Com" and wave. And then it was up, up and away. The other balloon had a guy that played a ukulele. Neat, eh? We had Bob.

We were in for a surprise when we landed. Turns out part of the ballooning "experience" is helping Bob roll up the balloon. Once that was done we were treated to a bit of a breakfast buffet and mimosas. Or as Whitey liked to say, "We had mimosas. And then we had more mosas." Hey, we Brays like to get our money's worth. And rolling up that bloody balloon was thirsty work!



So back on the ground and back at home I now hope to get back up on the blogging horse. We'll see where my health is at and my level of creativity and hopefully I can get back into a routine of some sorts. Hopefully, to begin, I'll see if I can't come up with a post or two a week.

Thanks for visiting. I appreciate all your comments wishing me well. And I'll be around to visit your blogs soon.


Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Everybody Snores


Well it's the wee hours of another Tuesday and I can't sleep. It's my chemo pills. I take them Monday and I have insomnia Monday night. Tonight just after midnight I was listening to a cover version of Everybody Hurts on my iPad. The wifey was fast asleep so I was using ear buds. Yet, what was that? Son of a gun if she wasn't snoring...and in perfect unison with the song: "Everybody hurts - hrmpf - sometimes". Oh, and before you think my wife was snorting like a pork (that's something my sweet francophone spouse would say) she has the most genteel, lady-like snore I've ever heard. Me, on the other hand, when I do sleep and sometimes snore, I just roar. And I have the bruises to prove it where my wife has kicked me. Anyway I was inspired by my wife's nocturnal nuance and the following is the result.

Well my day was long and my night
My night was mine to own
Then for sure I'd had enough of no sleep, I hung on
Didn't let myself go
My body cries and everybody snores 'cept me

Sometimes I sing a song
But this time it's all wrong
Then my day is night, a groan (hrmpf gone, hrmpf gone)
And I feel like sleeping: go (hrmpf gone)
And I think I've had too many of these pills, my sleep's gone

Everybody snores
Take comfort in your bed
Everybody snores
Don't kick your foot. Oh, no
Don't kick your foot
If you think I'm in the zone, no, no, no, you are so alone

If I'm not sleeping my dear wife
Kick me at night is wrong
When you think you've had too much of this hrmpf to bang on

Well that makes me hurt sometimes
My body cries
And everybody snores 'cept me
And everybody snores 'cept me
So don't kick, don't kick
Hold on, hold on
Twas you, twas you!
(It was, it was)

Everybody snores
'Cept me, I'm alone


If you're curious, here's the R.E.M version. How ironic. I parodied a song about not sleeping by a group called R.E.M.



Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Things That Go Poop In The Night

Not me. No. At my age I'm up about 4 or 5 times to pee. But not pooh. I called the post that because I have a touch of insomnia tonight and when you can't sleep the mind can have some pretty odd thoughts.

For instance, I've come to believe that one can determine how secure their marriage is in proportion to how often their spouse farts in their presence. Now in the early stages of a relationship this would never happen. Well, hardly maybe. Then as time passes, gasses passes too. It'll start with a little putt, followed by an "oops, I'm sorry". But as the relationship becomes more profound, so do the farts until you've reached the point where you let one rip without so much as an "excuse me". I just can't put into words how gratified I am by my spouse's security in our marriage. I love you too, hon. Despite your little farts, er, faults.



Another thing that popped up was back when I was in the hospital after my last bone marrow transplant in 2010, the medical staff took a keen interest in my bowel movements. Was it hard? Was it soft? Was it liquid? Was it solid? I know, I know, TMI. Nowadays there's an app for that. I kid you not. I have it on my iPhone (the app that is. I don't take my phone into the toilet.) and it's called iPoop. Based on how many times you go in a day and the colour and the shape of your deposit you can learn just what causes the kind of poop you're, um, stuck with.

My final thought on this subject had to do with likening what went on in my intestines to computer terms. (Hey, I don't know where these thoughts come from.) You know, like I download a meal as though I were downloading songs from iTunes. Then I'll upload my "personal item" to my favourite site - American Standard. It's like You Tube but without the video. And just like You Tube, sometimes you run into technical problems. Sometimes the connection can be intermittent. Sometimes the connection doesn't work at all. And other times you've gotta spend a little extra time on the docking station.

It's amazing the things one thinks of when one's sleep-deprived.

Right now I'm a little flushed.

Insomnia can be pretty weird.

I wonder if there's an app for that?
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