What An Ass

Okay. Take heed all you animal lovers. If you're contemplating expressing your ardour for our four legged friends by making love to a donkey you'd best put it out of your mind unless you want it's owner to kill you.

Hee-haw. Don't laugh. It's true.

That's exactly what happened in Portugal where some guy slashed the throat of another guy who violated his donkey.

Anybody got a cigarette?

The fella's name was Jaime Pires but locals called him Jaime Sheep because he was quite well known for making the rounds with local animals. Police discovered Jaime in a pool of blood wearing women's underwear. Sure, the guy wasn't kinky enough bonking donkeys he had to wear women's undergarments while doing it.

Boy, I've heard of Dr. Dolittle, but this guy did a lot - almost every animal in the Village of Proenca-a-Velha, Portugal.

This guy really played around. He wasn't true just to one donkey. Gives new meaning to stuffing the turkey. Not to mention makin' bacon or that rock and roll classic ram-a-llama-ding-dong.

Maybe the guy was upset with the owner. I mean, after all, he rode his ass all the way to Proenca-a-Velha.

Dolittle my eye.

And he didn't just talk to the animals, as the song goes. He chatted them up, bought them dinner and then got down and rolled around in the mud with them. If you know what I mean.

It behooves me to say this but now I know why Ol' McDonald said "Ee-ie-ee-ie-oh!"