The weather was unseasonably warm for October. The sun set around 6:30 but the daylight hours were quite enjoyable. So thought Richard, as he set out for his daily walk in the woods. He marvelled at the turning leaves which exhibited an explosion of colour more significant with each passing day. But Richard knew the turning leaves would soon start to fall. And the trees would soon be bare with no leaves at all. And then the snow would fly and fall from the trees as the leaves had before it. Richard couldn't help but think of the sudden change to come as a seizure of sorts. And he wasn't looking forward to it. After all, who would welcome a seizure, he thought, as he rolled uncontrollably among the leaves. This week paroxysm/seizure was the prompt at Two Word Tuesday .
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The old man down the street was terrible to the children. When the kids frisbee landed on his front lawn he ran out and grabbed it, yelling at them to keep off his grass. When the boys baseball landed in his driveway he did the same. Neighbours began to wonder when he'd hold a yard sale to give back his confiscated items. The area children avoided his house at Halloween. He didn't display a carved pumpkin and he didn't pass out candy. At Christmas his house remained dark with no seasonal lights or decorations. Neighbours wondered what was wrong with this guy. They'd never seen anyone so ornery. And then one day something happened. A child new to the neighbourhood rang the old man's doorbell and asked if he'd sponsor her in the upcoming walk for charity. He said sure, sponsored her for $10 a kilometre and signed the pledge form as... Mister Tetchy. The Two Word Tuesday prompt was tetchy/ornery this week. Now get outta my face.
Ronald was a lucky lad. When he was four his parents perished in a hot air balloon incident at the Hattiesburg fair. Now wait, that's not the lucky part. Ronald survived the balloon blast because he was on the ground with his Aunt Flo and Uncle Joe Bob. Flo and Joe Bob had no children of their own and so took it upon themselves to raise Ronald as their own. Ronald may have been an only child but he certainly didn't suffer from a lack of love and affection. Flo and Joe Bob showered Ronald with love and he felt warm and protected throughout his time with them, Yes, that's right, he only spent a certain amount of time with them. Then they too were gone and Ronald was alone. It happened in the summer of 1976. Flo and Joe Bob planned a camping vacation in Canada's Algonquin Park, miles from Hattiesburg. They packed up the Subaru on a Monday morning and headed north. Ronald, in the back seat, could barely contain himself. When they arrived, the campers decided to unp...
Susie had special powers. Or at least she worked at developing them. If she concentrated really hard she could see into the future. This talent was a little off-setting to her friends. But she was determined to perfect this skill. To that end she attended psychic school. It was kind of like high school but without the ladder. Susie never missed a class. Well that's because looking ahead she knew when they occurred on her schedule. Miss Clair Voyent was a good teacher. Always held students' attention. So much so you'd want to run out and buy a lottery ticket. And each class began the same with Miss Clair Voyent calling attention. Sometimes the students would jokingly respond to Miss Voyent's roll call with the response of 'prescient". Get it? Prescient in Psychic class? Yeah. Our prompt for Two Word Tuesday was prescient/psychic this week. Looking ahead to next week I wish I could determine the prompt, but I can't. This week was enough.
Bob and Henry were archeologists and were on the verge of the discovery of their lives. On the uninhabited island of StickMyFinger Innit they were about to become the first explorers of a giant cave. Who knew what dangers lurked below. Certainly not Bob and Henry. The two archeologists prepared to descend into the earth's core. They loaded their backs with their equipment and set off. Almost immediately they were overcome by a powerful smell. It was as if some giant animal had crawled into the cave and died. And the deeper they went the worse the stench became. Finally Bob turned to Henry and gasped "I don't know if I can go on Henry. That stench is nearly making me unconscious." "Stench?" said Henry. "I thought it was my asthma!" The Two Word Tuesday prompt this week was miasma/stench .
Last week I told you a little story about Convivial, a little girl who made a lot of friends. What I didn't tell you was that she had a little brother named Dack. He had a last name that he didn't like to use: Dick. Dack Dick didn't make many friends. In fact the little boys and girls sniggered at him and his name. That's an interesting word: sniggered. There are many synonyms but I think my favourite is belittle. It really conveys a sense of ridicule which is what the little boys and girls were doing. They were ridiculing poor Dack. Now Dack wasn't the sharpest knife in the cutlery drawer. Another reason the boys and girls would ridicule him. At school he was an average student, pulling down Bs and the odd C. He was content. His parents were content and his sister Convivial was content. One day in English class the teacher hosted a little game of "What's That Mean?". She'd mention a word and the class would have to guess another word that...
When she was born she was such a little bundle of joy that her mother called her Convivial. And the name stuck. And as she grew older Convivial easily made and amassed friends. In fact, birthday parties became almost unmanageable. It was a good thing she was born in August because her birthday celebrations were moved from the backyard to a nearby park just to contain all the guests. School was another matter entirely. There wasn't a lunch table big enough in the cafeteria to contain all her little buddies. And the school bus? They had to lay on several so that her friends could follow her and ensure she got home safely. You have never before seen such a sociable child. People would stop her in the street and say to her "My, oh my, you're convivial." To which she'd reply "Why yes I am.' And, thought these people, arrogant as well. This week's Two Word Tuesday prompt its convivial/sociable . Sometimes it doesn't pay to be too convivial. ...
It was getting worse. The store-bought milk was piling up in the oven. And the fridge was full of toothpaste and shampoo. Bob and Betty had lived a long and loving life together. They'd been married for 63 years and then last year Betty died. Breast cancer. But she went quickly and for that Bob was grateful. But since Betty's death Bob turned into a different person. He was alone now. Had no one for companionship or to help with the little things and provide for him. He cooked his own meals. When he remembered to do so. He had become very forgetful since Betty's death. He'd stopped shaving for example. The children remarked upon it. But of course they had busy lives of their own and didn't have much time to look after their addled father. Think of that song The Cat's In the Cradle" and you'll kind of get the idea. And so Bob spent most of his days in a daze, if you'll pardon the pun. And for some reason there was no toothpaste or shampo...
Week two of the "great strength of our marriage contest" whereby I spend each week at the cottage Maryse and I have rented while Maryse spends Monday to Thursday in the city working. Don't tell her I said this but I'm lonely. I miss her. And I'm left to my own devices. No not the inflatable doll. I mean I have to do things for myself like wake myself up in the morning, prepare my own meals and so on. This morning I was up at 5:30. I prepared breakfast, ate it, did the dishes, had my shower, got dressed and drove the garbage down the road to the dump. All before 9am. And all without having somebody tell me to do it. Pretty amazing, eh? There's no cell service here and no network television. I make do with Netflix and You Tube. Catching up on some classic movies. I watched Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction the other night and Spike Jonze's Adaptation with Nicholas Cage the next night. I should have said classic 90s movies. My meals are pretty ped...
We gathered in the dark. After an evening of several libations with new friends we boarded the pontoon boat for a short trip across the lake. The only sound, apart from our conversation and laughter, and the low speed chugging of the motor, was the call of several loons. It was our first day at the cottage and the rain had finally let up after falling for most of the day. We were lucky. The fireworks began at 10pm sharp. Mayhem would have ensued if the pyrotechnics had have been cancelled. I'd never witnessed fireworks on the water before. They exploded noisily in the air but their reflection below was silent. For twenty minutes the loons had company as the revellers cheered and clapped and the pontoon drivers sounded their horns. We laughed at the solar-powered boat whose horn bleated like a sheep. The manly toots of the rest of the boats responded to its call. Or perhaps derided it. The loons were silent. This week's prompt from Tara at Two Word Tuesday is fire...
Bob and Brenda worked in the supermarket. They weren't check-out clerks. And they weren't stock-boys. Brenda sure wasn't. And they weren't employees who worked in the fish section or the deli. No. They were on the shelves. They hadn't been on the shelves very long but in that short time they'd developed a considerably close friendship. The chatted all day when the store was busy and at night when the store was closed. They talked about everything. The talked about what raw products they came from. The talked about their manufacturing processes. And they talked about the long routes in semi-trailers that brought them to this store. Oddly enough the one thing they never made clear to one another was just what product each of them was. One day when Brenda was commenting on their friendship she told Bob she was grateful for their amity. "Are you Tea?" said Bob, pekoe-ing her way. "I thought I was Tea". You're coffee!" This w...
I don't know if you saw this or not but NASA intends to send a spacecraft straight into the sun next year. And President Trump wants to be on board. POTUS considers himself an expert on space which should come as no surprise considering the amount to be found between his ears. Scientists, affected by the Trump cutbacks, are debating whether or not to stroke his ego and tell him he'll be hot stuff, literally. Here in Canada the CSA, or Canadian Space Agency (What? we have one), is preparing for a mission of their own. They intend to send Prime Minister Trudeau to the fourth planet from the sun, Mars. As you know speculation abounds as to the possibility of life on Mars. Just ask David Bowie. Oh, too late. Nevertheless Canadian scientists, who still hold their jobs in Canada, are interested in finding a new source of selfies for our PM. The CSA originally had its sights, and telescopes, set on the ringed planet, but then changed their minds when they learned the average t...
Did you ever use the wrong word, thinking it meant something else. Come on now I'm sure I'm not the only one this has happened to. But I'm damn good at Scrabble. And I don't even have to check the dictionary. When challenged I just speak confidently in a loud voice "Yeah, that's a word, it means..." It's what I do when playing with my wife, especially, who is Francophone and deigns to play in both official languages. See what I just did there? I misused "deigns". I should have said "who forces me to let her create French AND English words". Now just how do I, an Anglophone, challenge those French words. Well I just have to say I love her and I trust her. She wouldn't cheat. Not like me. One of the words I've misused up until now is temerity. I used it when I thought someone was timid. I thought temerity meant something like frightened. Who knew? Turns out it means bold or impertinent. A synonym is cheek. No, trust ...
Betsy and Bob Dinger were always the object of snide remarks because they had a lot of children. An even twelve - six boys and six girls. Their neighbours said they must have been strong believers in equality and fervent practicing Catholics. Others said they could run two hockey or basketball teams. Or one soccer or baseball team. And as the children grew that's exactly what Betsy and Bob Dinger did. Although they favoured fielding a baseball team as several of their children were great hitters and were capable of knocking a few family namesakes out of the park - that is to say dingers. Then one day the unexpected happened. Although after twelve children I guess it shouldn't be unexpected. Betsy was pregnant with child number thirteen. Dave Dinger, Doug Dinger, Donald Dinger, Dick Dinger, Ducky Dinger, Duane Dinger and their sisters Diane Dinger, Dahlia Dinger, Dakota Dinger, Daisy Dinger, Debbie Dinger and Donna Dinger were going to have a brother or sister. As su...
You might say Samantha was the poster child for empty-nest syndrome. She and her husband Darren had raised three lovely children all of whom had left home over the last several years. Darren still worked so Samantha was left alone in the house all day a prisoner really of her own imagination. She tried to keep active. Since there were just the two of them there wasn't much need for housework. She kept things tidy but it didn't require much effort or time. So she filled her days with volunteering and yoga several times a week. And she was always home in time to prepare a nice dinner for Darren. One day, as she was surfing the net between yoga classes and work at the animal shelter she came across an ad for a pastime she thought might be interesting. Cooking classes. All that was required on her part, oddly enough, was a dark cloak and a pointy hat. That didn't seem like much for all the friendship and learning that was promised in the ad. Although she was sort of m...
She tsk tsked when she emptied the dishwasher. Turns out he hadn't loaded it properly. Not only that but last time he emptied it he apparently emptied it the wrong way. Now how could there be a wrong way to empty the dishwasher you might ask. Well, I'll tell you. When he loaded it he placed the knives in the back right hand corner of the cutlery rack. He placed the forks at the left front and the spoons in the empty spaces in between. Wrong she said. The knives go at the front left. The forks at the back left and the spoons on the right. Now if that wasn't enough to magnify his faults in loading the dishwasher, she barred him from loading it in the future in addition to emptying it. Turns out he unloaded the cutlery first, then the middle drawer with glasses and finally the bottom drawer with plates and bowls which for her was wrong. She redoubled her criticism barring him from unloading the dishwasher. The proper way she said was the bottom drawer of plates first, t...