nonamedufus

My pals Gus and Goose were shootin' the breeze the other day over the backyard fence and here's the thrust and parry of how that conversation went. Gus: I like your fence, Goose. My wife wants me to build one but she can't make up her mind what type. Goose: What, you don't get to pick it? Gus: I see what you did there. Goose: Where? Gus: You made a link between pick it and fence. Goose: Like you just did? Gus: Huh? Goose: Between link and fence. Gus: I guess you're not the weakest link in the chain. Goose: And I guess you're not as dumb as a post. Gus: Oh, that was a carefully wrought pun. Goose: Wrought? Gus: Wrought iron! Goose: Oh, wood you quit it. Gus: Why, are you getting board? Goose: Keep it up and you'll be riding the rails. Gus: Okay, okay, enough's enough. Wouldn't you agree. Goose: Yeah, it's time to close the gate on this one. Gus foils Goose's fence-building efforts. The prompt over at Them...

When my wife is really tired She likes to bitch and kvetch Then she'll take a big, deep breath And her arms and legs she'll stretch. Me? I may be at a baseball game In the middle of the 7th inning I sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" No matter who is winning Or it may be while I'm driving I'll give the wheel a tug And pull over to the road side And stretch, there in my Bug. I'm not the only one who does this It's done by cats and dogs You may be surprised to learn It's even done by frogs. But there's one kind of stretching That I think is simply wrong It makes me think I'd hate to be The latest version of Stretch Armstrong. Well, if you haven't guessed by now, the prompt was "stretch" over at Theme Thursday this week. 

The prompt over at Theme Thursday this week, or last week I guess*, is "reveal. Well I guess, for some strange reason, the first thing that comes to my mind is a woman in a revealing dress. If you're upset by the gratuitous use of pictures of scantily clad women, I'm sorry. I guess it just reveals I'm a guy. This is Shauna Sands. Now given the way she's dressed some might say she's not all there. Then again others might say it's evident she is all there. Shauna was a Playboy playmate apparently and used to be married to Lorenzo Lamas, the son of actor Fernando Lamas. Now, there's some revealing facts. Also when I think of "reveal" I think of the excellent movie The Prestige with Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. It's a film about competing magicians who each try to outdo the other. In the movie we learn that the three parts of a magic trick are "the pledge, the turn and the prestige". The prestige is in effect revealin...

But they aren't, are they. If they were, then why did W.C. Fields want to rather be in Philadelphia? A-ha. You see. All things aren't equal. It's like the difference between a Russian Lada and an American Cadillac.  Sure they're both cars. But they're very different. How about Hellman's mayonaise and Nuttella. They're both bread spreads. But I don't think I'd use the latter to mix my tuna salad. And what about music? Are Justine Bieber and the Rolling Stones equal? Haircuts. A brush cut vs. low back and sides and just a little off the top? Movies. Weekend at Bernie's vs. The Godfather? Television: My Mother The Car vs. How I Met Your Mother? Okay, okay TV might be a gimme. It's all equally bad. The Smothers Brothers. Ha, that's easy. Mom always liked Dick best. But my point is we say things are equal, but they really aren't. We like to think things are but we're only fooling ourselves. It took years before women...

M-I-C...see you real soon K-E-Y...why? because we like you! M-O-U-S-E.   Ah, the days of the Mickey Mouse Club.  Of course I didn't watch it for the songs or the cartoons.  My main attraction were Annette Funicello's breasts.  Annette went on to be a recording star and actress.  She played in such dark psychological thrillers as The Shaggy Dog and Beach Blanket Bingo . What you may not know is, at the time, Jimmie, the Mickey Mouse Club host was a star in his own right.  He'd starred in countless films in the 40s and 50s, often uncredited. And he wrote the theme song for the show.  You know... Who's the leader of the club That's made for you and me M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there You're as welcome as can be M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E And the closing theme, as well.  But that's not all. Jimmie Dodd rose to even greater fame as Bucky Beaver. Who was Bucky Beaver? Just the best-known marketing icon and musical mascot...

When I was a kid learning to drive, the thing I had the most trouble with was trying to park.  I could reverse. I could stay in my lane. I was able to properly stop at an intersection. And when I was older and had my own car, I was able to start and go with a manual shift on a hill.  I was pretty proud of that.  But parking always gave me a problem.  You know something, though?  Seems I wasn't alone. Take this fella for instance.  He was gonna park in this spot no matter what... And this guy thinks he - and his car - are so special he can take up two spots.  I hate when that happens... Of course then there are folks who aren't gonna sit still for that kind of thing... And then there are those annoying drivers who double park... And others park just anywhere they want, like this woman.  I still don't know how she managed to get out of her car. And then there are drivers who aren't exactly clear on the difference of moor and park... A...

Every summer for the last 9 or 10 years a buddy and I have made our way to Lake Temagami in northern Ontario for a week or so of fishing at Loon Lodge.  We'd hook his boat up to the back of his GMC Jimmy and set out for the 7 hour trip from Ottawa to Temagami. About an hour shy of our destination, we'd stop in North Bay to purchase our provisions: groceries, beer and wine.  Enough to last us through the week.  Since we'd be eating our dinners at the lodge we only had to worry about breakfasts, lunches and snacks.  So bacon and eggs, cold meat, cheeses, bread, chips and pickled eggs rounded out our shopping list.  And ice.  After all we had to get a head start on cooling down the beer. An hour later we'd arrive at the landing, put the boat in the water, load it with our "provisions", park the Jimmy and slowly make our way to the lodge. Lake Temagami It's been the same routine every year.  And each year our enjoyable week of fishing and relaxing ...

You know, I had the greatest parents.  Growing up in Toronto I could do practically anything I wanted. I wanna play hockey. Hockey? Okay, sure. I wanna play tennis. Tennis? Okay, sure. I wanna play baseball. Baseball? Okay, sure. I wanna go to choir school and learn to play the piano. Okay I threw that last one in.  My parents wanted me to go to choir school and learn to play piano. I must say I didn't really excel at any of these things, including the piano much to my parent's deep disappointment. And I do recall arriving home from school downtown after an hour and-a-half subway and bus ride to my friends deriding voices, somewhat off-key saying: "Look, look it's choir boy...la,la,la,la,la,la,la. So after two years I quit St Michael's Choir School and took up more manly pursuits. One of them was baseball.  I was 8 or 9 years of age and of course back then there was no "beginner's" league.  You know with the ball on a batting ...

When someone says triangle, what's the first thing that comes to mind?  Is it this? Or this... Or how about this, maybe... Or did you think of a love triangle? I bet you wouldn't have thought of this... Or this... Now, I would have thought of this... And here in Canada I might have thought of the logo for the Canadian Television Network... And of course I would have thought of the unsung, lowly orchestra instrument... And, of course, my favourite triangle solo... Pop on over to Theme Thursday and see what other bloggers thought about "triangle".

But Software Can Sure Exaggerate When I spent a couple of weeks in the hospital back in April, following my stem cell transplant I wanted to let my family and friends know how my recovery was progressing.  So I snapped a couple of pictures of myself so they could see for themselves. My doctors think they've discovered what my problem is. Now for some reason I didn't get a lot of replies to this note.  No one seemed to notice my head had shrunk significantly. So the next day I sent the following... Any ill effects from your radiation?  None whatsoever! Hey, the camera doesn't lie! For a look at how other Theme Thursday participants covered off "camera" just click here .

The Monkees, perhaps, are the best example - or worst, depending upon your point of view - of a manufactured pop group who scored significant chart success. But  The Strangeloves  aren't that far behind. The Strangeloves were 3 guys from New York who said they were former sheep farmers from Australia. Their story went that they got rich over a new form of sheep crossbreeding and used their millions to start a rock group. Bob Feldman, Jerry Goldstein and Richard Gottehrer, at the time succesfull record producers, adopted the monikers Giles, Miles and Niles Strange and a musical conceit was hatched. The fictitious brothers ran into a bit of a problem in 1965 with the success of  I Want Candy . It ranked so high on the charts the demand to tour as live artists forced them to send out the session musicians who performed in the studio. But they could lip-sync, as this clip demonstrates... Hey, in 1965 what did I know. I was 13 and I thought they were kinda cool. The St...

Well, it's a new month and the folks over at Theme Thursday have chosen "white" for the month of June.  The concept behind Theme Thursday is to help give bloggers a little boot to their creative behinds once a week and hopefully prompt them into writing a post about the week's theme.  For the last little while they've been using colours at the outset of each month. When I saw this month's colour my mind immediately took me back to those old laundry and household cleaner commercials that used to air on TV. For example, does anyone old enough remember the Ajax commercials from the 50s?  Yeah, it was "stronger than dirt".  And Ajax was the white knight... That was the 50s, but by the 70s Ajax was "like a white tornado"... Meanwhile, who better to advertise a cleaning product than Betty "White". Here's her sales pitch from the 70s. But it's the 50s that provide us with the real classics. Here's an ad w...

Over at Theme Thursday this week's topic is "wrinkle". As I surfed around looking for something I might write about I stumbled across a song on You Tube called "Wrinkle" by - wonder of wonders - a group called dufus ! The group is the brainchild of Seth Faergolzia and has been kicking around since 1997, based out of New York. Other than Seth, who sometimes tours as a solo act, the group has a revolving door of members. The band's website can be found here . Imagine me, nonamedufus , only now discovering the existence of this band. And they're pretty cool, as this video demonstrates.  Wrinkle is from the 2004 dufus CD Ball of Design . Enjoy fellow Theme Thursdayers!  Oh and don't forget to drop by Theme Thursday to see how other bloggers have covered off this week's theme.

"I'll have my people call your people and we'll set up a lunch." Whether you're a high-profile Hollywood mogul or a lowly office worker wanting an hour away from the grind LUNCH is a popular mid-day break. Lunch started as short break around the middle of the day between two more substantive meals at the beginning and ending of the day.  These days it's the social highlight of the day. Be it a brown bag in an office lunch room.  A quick run to a fast-food joint.  Or a liesurely "business" luncheon.  Everyone stops and eats. It might be lunch at a restaurant where they make lunch just like mom used to make... It might be lunch in the animal kingdom.  They have to eat, too... These guys give new meaning to "out to lunch"... You may want to theft-proof your lunch.  Here's one way... Some people have a liquid lunch... Some people tie one on... Some over eat.  The just don't know when to quit... The Ja...