nonamedufus

A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting. Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, 'PULL OVER!' 'NO', the young lady yelled back, 'IT's A SCARF!' **** There weren't any speeding cars where I was on the weekend. In fact they were all pulled over. My lovely wife tore me away from the computer Saturday afternoon and off we went to the annual Aylmer Auto Show at nearby Parc Des Cedres, bordering the Ottawa River. It was a gorgeous day, for a change, after having endured the wettest July on record. It was warm and sunny and there were lots of great vintage cars just waiting to have their pictures taken. And I mean vintage: some of these cars were actually older than I am! Not many, mind you...but some.

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you have twins." The man says "How strange, I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you have triplets." The man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 Musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you have two sets of twins." The man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They ask him what's wrong and he answers, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

stumbled

Practical, reliable Taureans are great lovers of sensual pleasures, although you do tend to be rather stubborn, possessive and conservative. Firmly anchored in the material world, you have a fine grasp of what is needed in order to lead the good life. Of course, you are capable in emergencies, where you have an instinctive understanding of what to do, but under normal circumstances, no-one can force you into anything without due time for thought and consideration. Who, me? Stubborn? Possessive? I guess so, 'cause today's my birthday. And, I'd have to agree with the following... Taurus rules the throat, giving a powerful, often beautiful voice. The influence of Venus opens up a world of musical talent and appreciation, so Taureans are good singers and musicians, or at least, love music and can be a force on the business side of music. Here are some others with whom I share my date of birth...April 28th 1758 - James Monroe, Westmoreland Va, (D-R) 5th pres (1817-25) 1878 - Lio...

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I'd sure hate to poop and scoop after Big Boy here.

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Hockey Sports Bar: Neighborhood Watch, indeed:

Well the weather's warming up and Easter is almost upon us. You know, when you think about it, the meaning of Easter has changed significantly over the years. Easter, and the days leading up to it, not unlike Christmas, started out as a religious observance. Some folks still hold fervently to the religious aspects associated with Easter. But at some point the focus shifted from someone who rose from the dead to a rabbit carrying eggs. Yeah, the Easter Bunny grew in popularity matched only by Santa Claus. Now imagine how Jesus Christ must feel when the occasion of his birth is eclipsed by a fat bearded guy in a red suit and the occasion of his death is better known for some giant rabbit leaving confections to rot kids' teeth. Other emerging traditions associated with Easter include painting eggs... And the ever-popular easter egg hunt... Boy oh boy, the meaning of easter has sure changed down through the ages... But it's nice to see some people are returning to the religi...