nonamedufus

Went golfing yesterday morning with my son. I say golfing but it's really hitting a golf ball into a huge video screen. It's just not the same as the real thing. But with several feet of snow on the ground here, it's the only option...unless I go golfing with a snow shovel. So the way it works is you get to choose from a number of courses, ranked in order of difficulty. I think I must have accidentally chosen the most difficult course there was. It was called Devil's Island. The name should have been my first clue. I tell you if this course exists in real life I'm never going there. I came away with a score of 140...my worst game ever. Maybe I lacked the drive. After missed shots and mulligans I was feeling pretty green. To my mind this was not a fair way to play golf. It was downright rough. In fact, I was so ticked off being around me was a real hazard. It was as if I had a chip on my shoulder. But I refused to lie down. However, the exertion...

My son, who I've come to call "Mulligan Matt", and I were out earlier this week attempting to whack little white spheres with long, narrow sticks. Some people call it golf, but my son has a another word or two for it which I shan't repeat here. Although one shouted expletive deleted starting with f and ending with uck had the elderly couple behind us waiting for us to tee off picking their jaws up off the ground. This is my first season of golf. I started playing on our holidays in Panama in December, after my wife had bought me a set of clubs. Four weeks golfing in Panama was actually a warm-up for a fifth week in Orlando with my brothers Whitey and Drinksalot who both have been golfing since they were kids. In their game you drink about as much as the number of golf balls you hit. So I was pretty much sober, you understand. Nevertheless, they still were better golfers than I. Dufus keeps eye on ball while trying to remember 576 other things to do while driving. Sinc...