nonamedufus

Well today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. ARRR you having fun yet? Pirates are quite unique. Who else do you know goes around wearing an eye patch, a hook for a hand, and a peg-leg. Oh, I've just described your next door neighbour? Oh, well. Q. If a pirate's used to bounding over the seas in a pirate ship how does he travel across the country? A. Why he drives a cARRR or hops on an ARRRplane just like the rest of us. Q. What's a modern pirate's favourite musical group? A. ARRRcade Fire Q. Do pirates have false teeth? A. No they just have a pARRRtial plate. Q. Do pirates prefer MacDonald's or Burger King? A. Neither. They go to ARRRby's, stupid. Q. Why are pirates peg-legs made of wood? A. Because they're all ARRRborists. Q. That explains the raw materials but how are they designed? A. They're also ARRRchitects! Q. Do pirates go to bed early or do they like to stay out late? A. Silly, pirates love to pARRRty. Q. If the Vi...

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off". "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about the hook"? "Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye", replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked. "Well..." said the pirate, "That was my first day with the hook."

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