Skip to main content

What An Ass


Okay. Take heed all you animal lovers. If you're contemplating expressing your ardour for our four legged friends by making love to a donkey you'd best put it out of your mind unless you want it's owner to kill you.

Hee-haw. Don't laugh. It's true.

That's exactly what happened in Portugal where some guy slashed the throat of another guy who violated his donkey.

Anybody got a cigarette?

The fella's name was Jaime Pires but locals called him Jaime Sheep because he was quite well known for making the rounds with local animals. Police discovered Jaime in a pool of blood wearing women's underwear. Sure, the guy wasn't kinky enough bonking donkeys he had to wear women's undergarments while doing it.

Boy, I've heard of Dr. Dolittle, but this guy did a lot - almost every animal in the Village of Proenca-a-Velha, Portugal.

This guy really played around. He wasn't true just to one donkey. Gives new meaning to stuffing the turkey. Not to mention makin' bacon or that rock and roll classic ram-a-llama-ding-dong.

Maybe the guy was upset with the owner. I mean, after all, he rode his ass all the way to Proenca-a-Velha.

Dolittle my eye.

And he didn't just talk to the animals, as the song goes. He chatted them up, bought them dinner and then got down and rolled around in the mud with them. If you know what I mean.

It behooves me to say this but now I know why Ol' McDonald said "Ee-ie-ee-ie-oh!"
Labels:

Comments

Theresa said…
Hmmmm, taking bestiality to it's max?
2 November 2010 at 07:07
nonamedufus said…
Theresa: I ass-ume so, yeah.
2 November 2010 at 07:56
http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said…
You forgot about the Push-Me-Pull-You! Explains that animal!
2 November 2010 at 08:44
nonamedufus said…
Boom Boom: Well I don't know if he encountered any of those. It might have doubled his pleasure, though
2 November 2010 at 08:52
Anji said…
Now I understand why our local donkeys wear pyjamas:
http://timeandoft.blogspot.com/search?q=donkeys
2 November 2010 at 09:10
nonamedufus said…
Anji: Wow, that's interesting. I think with this guy, though, a donkey with pyjamas wouldn't have stood a chance.
2 November 2010 at 11:12
Anonymous said…
Um. Okay? *nervous chuckle*

And I'm sorry but I have to correct you sir.

In Spanish, it's not ee-ii-ee-ii-oh. It's ay-yi-yi-yi-yiiiii!

Ha!
2 November 2010 at 11:33
nonamedufus said…
Quirks:
Q: Do donkeys smoke after sex?
A: I dunno. I never looked.

What's Spanish for *groan*?
2 November 2010 at 11:54
Nicky said…
"ram-a-llama-ding-dong"!

Hah! *snorts*

Sigh. So many "ass-ho" references...so little time.
2 November 2010 at 12:37
Ziva said…
I feel like such an ass! All this time I couldn't get guys interested in me, and all I had to do was dress up as a donkey.
2 November 2010 at 16:30
00dozo said…
I guess he was hardly sheepish about pursuing such endeavours.
2 November 2010 at 16:31
Linda Medrano said…
Dufus, I have no idea what to say about this guy. I'd like to see him try this with my pit bull Honey. He would have ended up a changed man.
2 November 2010 at 17:39
nonamedufus said…
Nicky: I don't know why, but that llama thing came to me out of the blue. Now if the guy's name had have been Al I might have been able to work something in about an alpaca.
2 November 2010 at 18:31
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: You should have done your research. After all you could have burro-d a little deeper.
2 November 2010 at 18:32
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: Hey I thought I did the puns around here! (Good one.)
2 November 2010 at 18:33
nonamedufus said…
Linda: Well that may be but you have to give this guy an A for his dogged determination.
2 November 2010 at 18:34
HumorSmith said…
I'm speechless. Perhaps a "Don't ass, don't tell" policy would help.

So okay, maybe not entirely speechless.
3 November 2010 at 21:39
nonamedufus said…
HumorSmith: I think you definitely may be on to something.
4 November 2010 at 07:57
MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said…
I got really drunk once in college and saw this movie. I think it was a movie. Anyway, I still throw up every time I get near a bottle of tequila and a donkey.
4 November 2010 at 18:28
nonamedufus said…
Mike: I stayed away from donkeys. Although I knew a couple of asses in college.
6 November 2010 at 19:28
Quirkyloon said…
Um. Okay? *nervous chuckle*

And I'm sorry but I have to correct you sir.

In Spanish, it's not ee-ii-ee-ii-oh. It's ay-yi-yi-yi-yiiiii!

Ha!
12 May 2011 at 14:59
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...
41 comments
Read more

Hello Goodbye

Today a bit of a reflective piece. Rather than being funny, this is  about the funny. It's a day of mixed emotion at nonamedufus . You see, after several months of inactivity I've dropped a couple of former blogger buddies off my blog roll. I kept hanging on and hanging on hoping they'd return to active blogging but, alas, after waiting in one case five months I've decided to let them go. I'm going to miss - going to? I have been missing - Margo at the Screaming Me-Me . She was one funny lady. From time to time she and I would engage in a feud or two for several days at a time but it was all in fun both for us and, I think, for our readers. And we'd leave each other funny comments, poking fun at each other. I miss her friendship and our humorous exchanges. The other blogger I'm letting go is Chelle, The Offended Blogger . Chelle was a special lady. In addition to her own blog she created and managed Humor Bloggers Dot Com where humour bloggers like m...
16 comments
Read more

The Dangling Conversation

There's a debate underway in my household between my wife and I. I say "underway" because it hasn't quite reached the "raging" stage. If you want raging, my wife (a Francophone) and I (an Anglophone) from time to time (usually in a weak moment of my own making) slip into our number one discussion around why we don't speak more French at home - ergo - when am I, a former public servant who learned French at the expense of our gracious taxpayers and was technically rated bilingual (even though I hardly used it), going to improve my use of Canada's other language? This one never gets resolved, hence it's ongoing nature. But the current debate is over a remark I casually made the other day. I'm no geek, but with a lot of time on my hands I surf the web, converse on Facebook and such and - I have to admit - "I'm nonamedufus and I'm a Twitterholic". In an epiphany-like moment I was struck by the apparent impact of social networkin...
15 comments
Read more