nonamedufus

You tell 'em Philosoraptor. All you drive-bys who peek in but don't leave a comment? You'll never winnit if you're not innit. And what do you win? A fantabulous pic of me hangin' on a clothesline to post on your blog, share on Twitter and Facebook or blow-up, frame and hang over your fireplace. Or throw into your fireplace. Cool, huh? Well, whatever. But more than that, all honourable mentions and winners get free links to their blogs. Now where else will you get such a prize package, huh? We have the delightful and da lovely Screamin' Me-Me to thank for this week's pic. A former blogger - and an extremely funny one - Me-Me lives just down the road from Quirkyloon in arid Arizona. I don't know if you guys knew this or not but Arizona has the unique distinction of having it's flag designed by the same guy responsible for that 60s animated psychedelic Beatles film Yellow Submarine. Groovy, eh? So on to the business at hand. Here's our pi...

Reality shows - love 'em or hate 'em - seem to be a mainstay of cable channel programing. Personally, I hate 'em, with few exceptions. I remember, though, when the American specialty cable channel TLC first began I used to watch that cute and perky Paige Davis in Trading Spaces. I'll bet she melted a few viewers' hearts. But then HGTV came along and spawned an entire schedule of programs based on TLC's home redecorating premise. That home-wrecker, Paige I'm a fan of Amazing Race but never got into Survivor. And I certainly never watched those shows based on has-beens and wannabes like Family Jewels with the former KISS member with the longest tongue in the world, the short-lived "that's hot" show, although viewers were lukewarm, with Paris Hilton, the craziness that's called The Kardashians and of course the show I loved to hate - Jon and Kate Plus 8. I kinda got into Discovery's The Deadliest Catch about five Alaska King crabb...

WTF? Captain Picard? Well, whoever. This guy made it, so, he's definitely gone where no man has gone before. Wouldn't you say? You wouldn't? Then what would you say? By the way, this is a first for Pause Ponder and Pun. Our pic has been sent to us by a fellow interweb interloper. Yeah, Screaming Me-M e sent me this. You remember Me-Me? Funny former blogger from arid Arizona? Yeah, that's her. No, no not in the picture. She sent me the picture. Never mind. Hey, if you want to send me a picture leave me a message on Facebook or e-mail me at nonamedufus@yahoo.ca We'll see you Saturday.

I don't know who the heck Christian Carter is or, for that matter, what made me click on his link on one of those news sites. Maybe because something with the headline "Catch Him And Keep Him" just didn't seem very newsy. It kinda stood out against stories about Greece's economy tanking and occupiers occupying my patience. Be that as it may, Mr. Carter promises to "...give you the inside scoop on what men are really thinking..." Well, maybe that's what made me click. After all, it's no secret what men are thinking...NOTHING! That's right. If you thought the male mind was a complicated and delicate thing that you needed help to crack I've got news for you. There's only one thing on a man's mind. And if he's lucky he gets it once a week...SUNDAY FOOTBALL. There's no need to pay Christian Carter (probably not even his real name) for his materials. I can tell you what's going through a man's mind...FOR FREE. ...

Thank you, my friend. That's quite an endorsement. From the most interesting man in the world to the most interesting caption contest on the interwebs! So, what have we got this week? Well, I jokingly said our coffee girl was my good blogging buddy  Nicky . She tells me, though, she never drinks coffee. So I guess she isn't as flexible as I first thought. But the rest of our commenters were, submitting a variety of questionable captions. And those are the best kind! The picture a minute before was stirring in the cream and sugar. It's even more impressive.  nudge-nudge, wink-wink Vaguemax Despite years spent working at the local diner, Janie never could grasp the concept of the bottomless cup of coffee. Shawn This is NOT why your mother told you to wear clean underwear. Nicky One fart or two of sugar...erm, I mean cubes of sugar. Quirkyloon And our winner this week, really made me laugh. Well, of course she did. She even ha...

Well, tomorrow's  Blog Blast For Peace Day ; a day when bloggers around the world all blog about one thing: P-E-A-C-E. It's a serious subject. But seeing how I manage a humour blog I have a bit of a different take on the subject. This is the post I've published annually for the last couple of years. Due to popular demand, namely mine, I thought I'd run it again. Enjoy. And peace. In the giant land of Gastronomia, government leaders and their bureaucrats were all in a tizzy. The plump Prime Minister of Gastronomia was about to host a conference of the world's key leaders to discuss the fragile state of peace in the world and there wasn't a moment to lose to ensure, down to the minutest detail, all plans could be accomplished in time for the upcoming meeting of the Gastronomic 8. The finest of hotel suites would have to be booked, the fanciest limousines would have to be leased, a conference centre would need to be found and a top-notch security detai...

  Nicky was always a little bent out of shape before she got her morning coffee. Or so she tells me. What does this picture tell you? Let me know in the comments and we'll straighten out just who wins on Saturday. Oh, and next week we'll feature a special pic. It's been submitted by my dear friend and former blogging pal The Screaming Me Me King. If you want to submit a pic for our consideration, drop me a note (and the pic, of course) on Facebook or e-mail me at nonamedufus@yahoo.ca See you guys on Saturday.

This is a story about Marvin. Marvin's a monster. Don't misunderstand me. He's not a monster in the berates his kids and beats his wife way. No. I mean in the not human way. He's a real honest-to-goodness monster. Well I shouldn't say not in the human way because Marvin's miscellaneous modules do come from various human sources. But they were donated after they died because, well, they really had no use for them any more. Marvin's master, Micky, took great pains to create Marvin in his image. And he more or less succeeded. Micky's gone now, the sad victim of an argument between he and his creation. Well, we know who got in the last word in that one, don't we. Today, of all days, is Marvin's 30th birthday. It was touch and go there for a while when Marvin was just a mini monster. Transfusions, electrical charges and a little lightening now and then were all that were needed to ensure Marvin grew up to become a normal boo-boy. In ...

Hey, look who was hangin' with the dufus this week. Yep, my good pal Barry O. I was giving the guy a little economic advice, you know, seeing how we're so solvent north of the border. And look what the guy did. He framed my avatar. Naturally I autographed it for him because he's going to hang it in a very special place at the White House: "Barack, I'll think of you when I occupy the bathroom." So let's get down to things and maybe I can enlighten you on who will be hangin' with me this week. Remember this guy? Yeah, that's right. Debby Boone's husband. He really light's up her life . Well here's what some other folks said to make it into the honourable mentions this week: Ladies this is why you never wait until last call to make your choice Moooooog Is that a lighter in yor tongue, or are you just glad to see me? Cruella Collett You think that's bad? You should see his penis. Shawn ...

Okay, I realize I'm taking a chance here running a post about fantasy football. Whenever I do comments for some reason simply plummet. Be thankful it isn't a post of a three day Facebook thread. Those get next to no comments. But on the football thing I think people just go "Oh, no, dufus is rambling on about fantasy football again" and they cover their ears and go "la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la." But, folks, I'm doing so well these days I just had to share. I know it's not about zombies, cute dogs or cryptologists - items that have readers flock to other blogs to leave effusive comments, but, hey, give a guy a break. Look at this as dufus occupies blog street. For today, guys, hold your nose and pass the football. Yeah, that's me. They don't call me Mr. Tibbs. They call me noname "victor" dufus. In week 7 your humble fantasy football fanatic squeaked by   Future Ex-Cons   104-90. It's not the biggest margin for a win. But it's...

Um, yeah, okay. Have a go at this guys. I'm looking forward to your insightful and piercing comments. See ya Saturday.

But not the Government of Canada. Nope, not our government. They're spending millions of dollars to build statues, dedicate parks, re-enact battles and rub the United States' noses in it. In what? In Canada's victory. That's right my American cousins. We won the War of 1812! Nanny-nanny boo-boo. Do you know much about our mutual history, my amiable American friends? Nope, me either. Just wanted to be sure we were playing on a level battlefield. You may have been following some discussions I've had recently with a few blogging buddies about Canadian/American relations. My American friends have taunted and teased me about how cold it is here, that we all eat poutine (on that they're right) smoked meat sandwiches (right again) and that nevertheless they should invade Canada, take over, and set adrift Justine Bieber, Nickelback, Celine Dion and Neil Young on some fast melting ice floe off the coast of Newfoundland. Without the Treaty of Ghent, Washington...