When I was a kid, I knew a guy that used to practice his clarinet on the toilet. No that's not a euphemism. If you came to the door to call on him and heard the clarinet you knew where he was. His Dad said he spent so much time on the toilet seat he had a ring around his ass. I wonder if it wasn't a ploy to mask his grunts and groans as he did his business? He'd never admit to it.
I came across a survey this week about what people do in the bathroom. It seems I'm in the minority. Whereas I'm there to do my business, most people are there for another purpose.
The folks from Georgia-Pacific make Quilted Northern toilet paper and conducted a survey into people's bathroom habits. Seems folks are more sociable in the John than on Facebook. I guess you could say they're getting their message across while tinkling not Twittering.
41 per cent of those polled thought the bathroom was a great place to gossip; 30 per cent said they talk about their jobs (presumably the ones in the office not the toilet) and 20 per cent discuss sex. That's discuss sex, not have sex. All told 86 per cent of people say bathrooms are a great place for a personal conversation. Oh sure they'll tell perfect strangers the most intimate details of their sex lives but at least 56 per cent don't feel comfortable asking the person in the next stall to pass them the toilet paper.
Here's something I know you'll be interested in learning. 31 per cent of those surveyed scrunch their toilet paper while 28 per cent favour the folding method. Hmm, fewer anal type than I imagined. There appears to not have been a question on the old unrolling the toilet paper over or under. Damn.
Finally, most people don't say they're going to the "bathroom". 26 per cent said they were going to "use the potty". Oh yeah like that sounds better. 21 per cent said they were off to "heed nature's call" and 26 per cent said they were going to "drop a deuce". What, now they're playing poker in there? No sign of my personal favourite, "I'm gonna go for a dump".
I'm kind of flushed by all this toilet talk. Who knew going to the bathroom now a days means something else entirely.
Excuse me. I've got to, erm, drop a deuce and write my next post.
This poopy post first plopped at The Parody Files.
Comments
And I'm guilty.
I say going to the potty. And I lovingly refer to it as a blowout.
"I'm gonna blow!"
It's a place for me to sit and think and not get a weird look from mom who is sure to ask "What happened ? Are you depressed ? He is depressed. Talk to us - we are there for you. It's not good to bottle things up"... and etc...
I prefer 'washroom' or 'restroom' but, technically, it should be called the 'waste room'?.
;-)
;-)
Unfortunately librarians get to smell all kinds of things in books...and DVDs...and CDs, mostly cigarettes or other less legal things patrons smoke.
As for your post, Noname, which is what brought us here today (brothers and sisters), I prefer not to say where I'm going. I just go...well, not right there, but usually when I'm at the library, I just point in the direction of the staff bathroom and the other person working with me gets the idea. At home, though, I promptly announce: "I gotta go poop." Or "I gotta go pee." I think my four-year-old nephew and I are a lot like actually.
1. I majored in clarinet (see College 1: Round 1) and I can tell you that the bathroom is FABULOUS for acoustics. Or someone who really sucks and needs to feel better about themselves.
2. I'm also disappointed to see there was no over/under toilet paper question. WTH? That's like.. the MOST important question!!
3. 26% was the highest on the phrase? Really? I say I'm going to the bathroom. Or, sometimes "Guys, I GOTTA PEE! Can you give your mom a friggin BREAK?!"
Side note: Once, I dropped the kids off at the pool. With their dad. For visitation. I then texted the bf to tell him that I'd dropped off the kids and was then free to do something with him. His response to my text was "Were you having problems?"
http://www.ipoonow.com/
Who new that poo was such a fun thing to do - and social too?
How'd those clarinet lessons pay off?
1. I majored in clarinet (see College 1: Round 1) and I can tell you that the bathroom is FABULOUS for acoustics. Or someone who really sucks and needs to feel better about themselves.
2. I'm also disappointed to see there was no over/under toilet paper question. WTH? That's like.. the MOST important question!!
3. 26% was the highest on the phrase? Really? I say I'm going to the bathroom. Or, sometimes "Guys, I GOTTA PEE! Can you give your mom a friggin BREAK?!"
Side note: Once, I dropped the kids off at the pool. With their dad. For visitation. I then texted the bf to tell him that I'd dropped off the kids and was then free to do something with him. His response to my text was "Were you having problems?"