Circulation Problems

No I'm not talking about a hardening of the arteries, but then again a congestion of this kind of artery may result in high blood pressure.

The Urban Dictionary defines "traffic" as: a collection of cars, all of which just so happen to have left for their destination at the exact SECOND as you and are in the same spot as you, at the same time as you, illegally defying the law of probability. Also an old band that Steve Winwood used to play in.

Traffic. It's the bane of our existence. Whether it's crawling down the road during rush hour or maneuvering in and out of road construction, there's just no avoiding...TRAFFIC. Here's a few lighter items for you to recall the next time you're stuck in traffic, that gives truth to that old maxim "There's always somebody worse off than you".

A little old lady was standing on the street corner waiting for the light to turn green when all of a sudden she heard a "beep, beep" sound. She turned to the gentleman standing beside her and asked, "My word, what the heck is that beeping sound?" The man turned to the old lady and said, "Madam, that sound is to warn blind people that the light is turning red." "Land sakes," said the woman, "Since when did they let blind people drive???"

A snail was crossing the road when he was run over by a tortoise. A policeman came along and asked him how it happened. "I don't know," replied the snail, "It all happened so fast!

One morning, a woman and her baby wee taking the bus. As she entered the bus the driver says, "Wow, that is one ugly baby!"

The woman is deeply hurt, and she takes a seat next to an elderly man. The man asks her, "What's wrong? You look mad."

She replied, "I am. That bus driver just insulted me."

You shouldn't take that from him," the man says. "He's a public servant and should show you respect. If I was you I would take his badge number and report him."

"You're right sir, I think I will report him."

The elderly man says, You go on up there and get his badge number, and I'll hold your monkey for you."

A man was driving when a trafic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for not wearing his seatbelt.

For more takes on "traffic" motor on over to the the folks at Theme Thursday.