Toilet Humour

My toilet was on the fritz so I called a plumber.

When the doorbell rang I was surprised the repairman was a woman. And she was gorgeous. No American standard, believe me.

She told me her name was Fawcett.  I thought "Yep, I'd tap that."

I was struck dumb. I flushed in embarrassment. But she didn't seem to notice and plunged into her work.

I had to crane my neck to see what she was doing.

I asked if she could use any help. She said she could handle it.

But I knew she was having a tough time of it 'cause she nearly blew a gasket.

She about bowled me over because she swore like a stevedore. Whatever floats your boat, I thought.

And then I thought if she'd taken elocution lessons they'd surely gone to waste.

Oh, well.

For me, though, it was like water off a duck's back. I wasn't offended. There was no chance that I'd sewer.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a can of motor oil; an odd item to fix a toilet with. I said "What's that?" "Valve-o-line, of course," she replied. I felt like a complete toto.

Soon she was done and said to me "Urine luck. I'll only charge you for the parts not the labour." "Holy crap, I piped up, "that's a great deal".

I fixture with my unblinking eyes and said "tanks a lot".

I think she liked me because she gave me her number and said I could Kohler.