Skip to main content

How Cliche


You ever wonder why people often don't say what they really mean? In an effort to be precise with their language they'll over think things and use a cliche. Often these cliches can be deceiving or not make sense. In short, they're not very helpful.

For example, if you were to stop and ask "how far is it to the next town?" and the answer you got was "oh, about 25 miles as the crow flies" would you find that very helpful? Well, no. You're not a crow. You're driving a car and after several rights or lefts and over several bridges it'll probably be about 100 miles. A crow flies straight. You don't. Unless your on something I'm not aware of.


And what about the cliche "cooking with gas'? I don't know. My wife's mistakenly wandered into the bathroom after me and there's no way she'd use that stuff to cook with.

How about "a bird in the hand's worth two in the bush"? The only thing a bird in the hand is good for is leaving some doo-doo on your palm. Next time leave it in the bush.

What about when someone tells you to "bite your tongue"? What are they nuts? They should try it and see how they like it.

And frankly I'd be tripping myself up if someone told me to "put your best foot forward". How would I know which foot was my best foot, anyway? I mean I'm kinda partial to my right foot but others beg to differ.

And when somebody tells me something's "as easy as pie" how easy is pie? I don't know how to make a pie so for me that might be "hard to believe".

And if someone's able to "kill two birds with one stone" they're one of two things: very, very mean or a very good aim.

And telling someone there's "plenty of fish in the sea" when they break up with someone isn't helpful. I mean you can only be so healthy and what does that have to do with finding a new relationship.

And the expression "I wasn't born yesterday" annoys me. Of course you weren't. Who learns to talk in just two days.

So if you feel as I do about people using cliches instead of straight language "join the club.!"

"That just goes without saying."


Labels:

Comments

Cruella Collett said…
Oh, I dunno. I feel that the grass is greener on the other side of this one. If no one used clichés we might miss them. Half the time we wouldn't know what they were talking about. We'd be as lost as a cucumber in the hen coop (see?!).
14 April 2011 at 09:06
http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said…
This post is just the cat's pajamas! Your mind's as slippery as pig snot on a glass doorknob, Dufus!
14 April 2011 at 09:26
Anonymous said…
I would be silenced without cliches.

Hey! This might be a good thing...for my husband.

*CHEESY SMILE*
14 April 2011 at 10:44
Abby said…
"I don't give a rat's ass" about cliches, as "I'm sweating like a whore in church" despite the fact that it's "colder than a witch's nipple" and "raining cats and dogs" out there today.

P.S. Break a leg.
14 April 2011 at 10:45
00dozo said…
Holy chestnuts Batduf, with so many cliches being spread like manure around here, there's not enough room to swing a cat.
14 April 2011 at 11:24
nonamedufus said…
Cruella: Oh I've got to find an opportunity to use that "cucumber in the hen coop" one. That's simply the cat's suspenders!
14 April 2011 at 15:08
nonamedufus said…
Boom Boom: Hahaha another good one to use in future. I used to have a chemistry teacher in high school who always said "that's a horse of a different garage".
14 April 2011 at 15:10
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: But not the rest of us! That'd be like living without DDP. How would we survive?
14 April 2011 at 15:11
nonamedufus said…
Abby: Wow, you sure know your cliches! Well done.
14 April 2011 at 15:12
nonamedufus said…
00dozo:Oh I'm just a babe in the woods who's only scratched the surface!
14 April 2011 at 15:13
Ziva said…
I couldn't agree with you more; clichés are annoying and often make no sense at all and make you seem more stupid than you really are. People should just learn to shut up, cause as you know, a closed mouth gathers no foot.
14 April 2011 at 15:24
nonamedufus said…
Ziva: Oh, yeah, absolutely cause a foot in your mouth's worth two in the moss.

You know, if I get enough of these from you guys I can write a new post about mixed-up cliches. Love it.
14 April 2011 at 15:31
meleah rebeccah said…
Yep. None of those make any sense to me at all.

"And if someone's able to "kill two birds with one stone" they're one of two things: very, very mean or a very good aim."

THAT reminded of the SNL skits by Jack Handy "Deep Thoughts"...

"I wonder if it's really possible to kill two birds with one stone? And if so, why would anyone *want* to do that anyway? I say, if you can kill two things with one stone…why not take out two clowns instead? They're scary."
14 April 2011 at 15:35
nonamedufus said…
meleah rebeccah: I'm not familiar with Jack Handy. I go to bed well before SNL starts. But I looked him up on Wikipedia. One example of his Deep Thoughts was "The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw." Now that's funny.

And I'm with you - and him - on the clowns.
14 April 2011 at 15:57
IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said…
that was a "laugh a minute", but "i'm a brick short of a dunny"

:)
14 April 2011 at 19:19
nonamedufus said…
IWBY: I had to look it up. Dunny is Oz slang for toilet. Funny. In Canada we'd say something like a few fries short of a poutine.
14 April 2011 at 21:03
IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said…
ha! now we're even , I had to look up poutine :) you have gravy AND cheese on your chips????
15 April 2011 at 07:53
nonamedufus said…
IWBY: I thought you might have to. It's a Canadian thing but "not everyone's cup of tea"".
15 April 2011 at 08:13
Anonymous said…
Hilarious post. Great comments.
Gave me an archy isshole.
15 April 2011 at 12:44
nonamedufus said…
Anon: I'm loving how everyone's gettin' into this. Sorry about your isshole. Did you try turning the other cheek?
15 April 2011 at 13:12
The Blog of Bee said…
This is fun. I came here through Everyday Goddess and have to say that you deserve her award.
16 April 2011 at 20:18
nonamedufus said…
Bea: Well thanks very much. I'm glad you dropped by. And, hey, it's great EG enjoyed this post enough to share her award with me. Thanks EG!
17 April 2011 at 08:53
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...
41 comments
Read more

Hello Goodbye

Today a bit of a reflective piece. Rather than being funny, this is  about the funny. It's a day of mixed emotion at nonamedufus . You see, after several months of inactivity I've dropped a couple of former blogger buddies off my blog roll. I kept hanging on and hanging on hoping they'd return to active blogging but, alas, after waiting in one case five months I've decided to let them go. I'm going to miss - going to? I have been missing - Margo at the Screaming Me-Me . She was one funny lady. From time to time she and I would engage in a feud or two for several days at a time but it was all in fun both for us and, I think, for our readers. And we'd leave each other funny comments, poking fun at each other. I miss her friendship and our humorous exchanges. The other blogger I'm letting go is Chelle, The Offended Blogger . Chelle was a special lady. In addition to her own blog she created and managed Humor Bloggers Dot Com where humour bloggers like m...
16 comments
Read more

The Dangling Conversation

There's a debate underway in my household between my wife and I. I say "underway" because it hasn't quite reached the "raging" stage. If you want raging, my wife (a Francophone) and I (an Anglophone) from time to time (usually in a weak moment of my own making) slip into our number one discussion around why we don't speak more French at home - ergo - when am I, a former public servant who learned French at the expense of our gracious taxpayers and was technically rated bilingual (even though I hardly used it), going to improve my use of Canada's other language? This one never gets resolved, hence it's ongoing nature. But the current debate is over a remark I casually made the other day. I'm no geek, but with a lot of time on my hands I surf the web, converse on Facebook and such and - I have to admit - "I'm nonamedufus and I'm a Twitterholic". In an epiphany-like moment I was struck by the apparent impact of social networkin...
15 comments
Read more