Skip to main content

Tush Touché

When I first read the story I'm about to relate to you I thought of that old line "I need a new butt, mine's got a crack in it." Okay, so I laughed when when I was thirteen. Not so much now. But I had to laugh at the following story, even though, speaking of butts, it came to a sad end.

Police in Philadelphia are investigating the circumstances of a British woman's death. She apparently died of complications from butt enhancement surgery. Now get this. The surgery didn't take place in a doctor's office or even in a hospital. It took place in a hotel room. Yeah. The Hampton Inn near the Philadelphia International Airport. I don't know about you but I'm bummed out.

What did this woman think she was getting in for? A butt enhancement job in a hotel? Yeah, right. And why? Did she want a new keister for Easter? Did she want to impress her husband dear with a new rear? Was she hoping to push for a tush like J. Lo?

What an asset!

How the heck did all this come to p-ass? (heh, heh) Did the hotel accidently place an ambiguous ad in the London Times aimed at getting the homeless off the streets of Philadelphia?

"Stay With Us. No Bums Turned Away"

Maybe it was the doctor who placed small discreet messages in the Guardian want-ads:

"Do your mates say you have a boney butt? Well now you can turn the other cheek!"

Geez, what if it was the city itself that enticed Brits abroad:

"Visit the City of Brotherly Love and Leave Your Worries Behind"

or

"Philadelphia: The City That Loves You(r) Back(side)!"

The procedure, not recognized by the FDA, involves silicon injections. Yeah, probably at "inflated" prices, too. And how "wide-spread" is this surgery? I'll bet there's no "end" to the number of illicit butt enhancers out there.

Well, it's hard to see a positive aspect to this sad tale (tail?). But I guess we could say that for this poor unidentified female that the worst is behind her.
Labels:

Comments

00dozo said…
Ha! Philadelphia: The City of Butt-erly Love.

I could sure use a new ass - any ass at all would be nice - but I don't think I'd go to Philly for it.

;-)
10 February 2011 at 11:03
nonamedufus said…
00dozo: Oh, good one. And, yeah, I wouldn't go to Philly for a new ass either. I mean look what they did to the Liberty Bell.
10 February 2011 at 11:11
Anonymous said…
Hee hee.

This is so funny! I'm a laughing my BUTT off right now.

Even as I sit.

hee hee
10 February 2011 at 12:18
Donnie said…
Perfect platform for your puns and buns. Actually, the pictured butt is too much rear for me. I could share with a friend and still have enough to wipe.
10 February 2011 at 12:39
cube said…
This unfortunate woman will be the butt of jokes for a long time to come.
10 February 2011 at 12:50
nonamedufus said…
Quirks: Had you cracking up, did I?
10 February 2011 at 13:29
nonamedufus said…
Donnie: That pic is J. Lo, There's a race on among her, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian to see who could be, um, er, have the biggest ass.
10 February 2011 at 13:31
nonamedufus said…
Cube: Hahaha, yes indeed. You're new in these parts. Glad you dropped in and left a comment.
10 February 2011 at 13:35
Linda Medrano said…
I wouldn't even go to Philly for a cheese steak, much less big butt from a Philly motel.
10 February 2011 at 14:16
Leeuna said…
Hahahaha. This news story is right up your alley, Dufe. It is a pundit's dream. I loved the "a new keister for Easter" line. Hilarious!
10 February 2011 at 14:57
Kelly said…
I wonder if her name was Dawn because she wasn't safe.

Get it? Oh, I crack myself up!
10 February 2011 at 15:19
nonamedufus said…
Linda: I'm sure it's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to bum around there.
10 February 2011 at 15:23
nonamedufus said…
Leeuna: I liked that one too. A thesaurus is a wonderful thing.
10 February 2011 at 15:26
nonamedufus said…
Kelly. It dawns on me that you might have to explain that one a bit. Maybe I'm a "little behind" when it comes to contemporary cultural references.
10 February 2011 at 15:29
Jen said…
As much as I would like a new ass I feel bad for this woman who thought if she went to those kinds of extremes it would make her life better. It's really sad what women will do to their bodies just to look like something that has been airbrushed.
10 February 2011 at 17:23
nonamedufus said…
Jen: I don't get it either. But then I don't get the attraction of an oversized butt either. Call me old fashioned.
10 February 2011 at 19:07
Quirkyloon said…
Hee hee.

This is so funny! I'm a laughing my BUTT off right now.

Even as I sit.

hee hee
12 May 2011 at 14:45
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...
41 comments
Read more

Hello Goodbye

Today a bit of a reflective piece. Rather than being funny, this is  about the funny. It's a day of mixed emotion at nonamedufus . You see, after several months of inactivity I've dropped a couple of former blogger buddies off my blog roll. I kept hanging on and hanging on hoping they'd return to active blogging but, alas, after waiting in one case five months I've decided to let them go. I'm going to miss - going to? I have been missing - Margo at the Screaming Me-Me . She was one funny lady. From time to time she and I would engage in a feud or two for several days at a time but it was all in fun both for us and, I think, for our readers. And we'd leave each other funny comments, poking fun at each other. I miss her friendship and our humorous exchanges. The other blogger I'm letting go is Chelle, The Offended Blogger . Chelle was a special lady. In addition to her own blog she created and managed Humor Bloggers Dot Com where humour bloggers like m...
16 comments
Read more

The Dangling Conversation

There's a debate underway in my household between my wife and I. I say "underway" because it hasn't quite reached the "raging" stage. If you want raging, my wife (a Francophone) and I (an Anglophone) from time to time (usually in a weak moment of my own making) slip into our number one discussion around why we don't speak more French at home - ergo - when am I, a former public servant who learned French at the expense of our gracious taxpayers and was technically rated bilingual (even though I hardly used it), going to improve my use of Canada's other language? This one never gets resolved, hence it's ongoing nature. But the current debate is over a remark I casually made the other day. I'm no geek, but with a lot of time on my hands I surf the web, converse on Facebook and such and - I have to admit - "I'm nonamedufus and I'm a Twitterholic". In an epiphany-like moment I was struck by the apparent impact of social networkin...
15 comments
Read more