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NASCAR - Playing with the Play by Play



…O'er the land of the free
And the home of the brave.

Look out, look out, those jets are flying pretty low…whew, that was close.  Watch out for the Met Life blimp!

…gentlemen, start your engines.

Okay, here we go.  Outta the pits and onto the track behind the pace car.

Why do they call it the pace car, anyway?  The only pace it keeps is so slow the cars behind it swerve back and forth to pretend they want to pass it.



I wonder if I can buy a beer from the #2 car and some M&Ms from the #18?  They're going slow enough, I could just run along side them…  uh-oh, that guy's waving a green flag and the cars are speeding up.  I'll have to wait 'till they pit.

Why do they call it the pits?  Does it suck to work down there?  Does it smell like armpit sweat?  They could probably use some Old Spice.  

They sure run around a lot down there.  I'll bet they could use a Budweiser right about now.

Oh, geez, a crash.  I didn't know Danica Patrick was racing this week.  Give a woman driver a rear-view mirror and some lipstick and trouble's sure to happen.

Uh-oh, better get Maaco.  I hope those drivers have Aflac.

Geez, I'm starting to get a crick in my neck, having to always turn it left, left, left, left.



All these left turns must be a natural for those U.S. Army and National Guard cars. 

Heck, I'm thirsty.  I could do with a Crown Royal.  I should make a 3M Post-It note to myself to remind me to get one at the next break.  

And I don't know why I'm so hungry but I feel like some McDonald's or Long John Silver's. 

Oh, geez, another crash…right into the grandstand.  I see a trip to Home Depot coming up.

Hey look, the #5 car's out in front…Go Daddy!

Damn, I got so excited I dripped some Taco Bell on my shirt.  I could use some Clorox.

Look, look Denny Hamlin's gonna win.  Lordy, he crossed that finish line faster than FedEx!

Juan Pablo Montoya gave Hamlin a run for his money but today he was just off Target.

Poor Jimmie Johnson.  Another loss.  He must be feeling pretty Lowe about now!



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Comments

Leeuna said…
Haha. Ads on wheels. It's like rooting for your favorite product. Or watching commercials on fast-forward. Could they be more subtle, I wonder.
12 April 2010 at 09:25
nonamedufus said…
Leeuna: You got it in one.
12 April 2010 at 09:55
Canadian Blend said…
Has NASCAR given up on Natural Male Enhancement?

Hopefully men have caught on and Enzyte no longer has the cash to sponsor a car.
12 April 2010 at 15:02
nonamedufus said…
Cdn Blend: Yeah ExtenZe sponsors the #37 car. I remember when Mark Martin was sponsored by Viagra. His #6 car would always finish an inch or two ahead of the competition! Hard to beat!
12 April 2010 at 15:40
Malisa said…
Wait until you see the corporate names on the side of the space shuttles pretty soon! I think Comet cleanser should sponsor one and maybe Mars candy bar! I am sure your brain is churning out ideas now!

It may be late in the day, but please remember that my vintage photo caption contest is back up today!

Malisa
12 April 2010 at 15:50
Jen said…
Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy? It takes place 500 years from now (still no flying cars) and clothing is sponsored. Everyone wears Gatorade and Nike on their clothing, oh wait, they do that now. Great movie anyway.
12 April 2010 at 16:38
nonamedufus said…
Malissa: That's funny. Good one!
12 April 2010 at 16:46
nonamedufus said…
Jen: I haven't seen the movie. But you're right - they do that now in golf, soccer, international hockey, etc. Any empty space is usually worth a price.
12 April 2010 at 16:49
Nanny Goats In Panties said…
Corporate sponsors on space shuttles. That wold be hilarious if I didn't suspect it to be a future truth. :)

Funny post, dufus!
12 April 2010 at 19:42
nonamedufus said…
Nanny Goats: Thanks for stopping by, Margaret. Glad you liked the post. Oh, and the space shuttle has the "Canada" government logo clearly printed on what's called the Canadarm!
12 April 2010 at 22:03
MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said…
That's a pretty clever idea, NoName. Wish I'd thought of it. Wish I had NASCAR money, too, but none of the idiots that go with it.
12 April 2010 at 22:13
nonamedufus said…
Mike: Thanks, Mike. I had some fun with it. I think those guys are overpaid. All they have to do is turn left.
12 April 2010 at 22:32
Nanny Goats In Panties said…
Corporate sponsors on space shuttles. That wold be hilarious if I didn't suspect it to be a future truth. :)

Funny post, dufus!
12 May 2011 at 15:14
Malisa said…
Wait until you see the corporate names on the side of the space shuttles pretty soon! I think Comet cleanser should sponsor one and maybe Mars candy bar! I am sure your brain is churning out ideas now!

It may be late in the day, but please remember that my vintage photo caption contest is back up today!

Malisa
12 May 2011 at 15:14
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