nonamedufus

Wee Winky Twinky -I wonder if she's related to Wee Willie Winkie - last week got this award thingy...the Premiere Meme Award or some such thing. To keep it she had to share with folks her 7 innermoist thoughts - did I say that? Musta been thinking about something else - 7 i-n-n-e-r-m-o-s-t thoughts and then pick 7 bloggers to whom she would pass the award - and the meme. Bloggers - like me - are of two minds about these things. They enjoy the recognition of their colleagues and the bit of a bump in traffic it might bring but they hate talking about themselves and they hate passing these things on to their blogging buddies. Having said that, one of Winky's picks was me! So Winky, thanks - I think. So given the sensitivity of some bloggers - who shall remain nonameless - here's what I propose to do. I'll take the award (well, hey, wouldn't you?) but here's how I'll handle the 7+7. First, I propose to share my 7 innermost thoughts...about celebrities on Twitt...

We're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave The temperature's rising, it isn't surprising She certainly can can-can And in Can-Can-Canada's Capital (damn, and my stutter was getting better too) the temperature's been sweltering for the past 4 or 5 days. I mean hot, like 30, 31C and with the humidty it feels like the upper 30s which translates into about 100F for you non-metricized Americans. But I dare not complain. Hell no. Our July stank. We had the highest level of rainfall ever in the region. Home Depot and Lowe's was running low, everyone was buying wood for their ark. No, we can't complain because, apart from a few warm days in April(!) and maybe one in June(!!) our summer finally arrived in August. We don't have AC but our ceiling fans and oscillators have been working overtime. And our pool has never seen more use. Of course, the weird thing about that is the more the air temperature rises the more we increase the temperature in the pool. Hell, ...

RIM co-founder Jim Balsille continues to go after the Phoenix NHL franchise like a pit bull gnawing on the postman's leg. A couple of editorial cartoonists rewarded him for his efforts in their cartoons last week. Guitar inventor and multi-track innovator Les Paul passed away late last week at the age of 94. Several editorial cartoonists took time to mark the occasion. But my favourite cartoon appeard too late to be included in last week's collection. The subject was the story about Twitter getting hacked and the subsequent DOS and it had my wife in stitches because art, it seems, imitates life... **** Hey, ettarose is giving me crap! Yep, I've now won her Craption turd thingy a second time! Cool. And, your not gonna believe this. I know I couldn't. I've also won the Humor Bloggers Dot Com Guess The Baby Blogger Contest , also run by ettarose last week. Man she's one busy lady. Boy my right sidebar's getting a bit crowded over there! Thanks for these aw...

Ah, but unlike a pack of 12 of the mystery meat tube steaks, there's only one weiner of Pause, Ponder and Pun . But there were many great efforts... As you'll recall this was this week's pic... Who were our honourable mentions? Well lotgk scored big again this week with... "This is not what I meant by a "Full Nelson!" Who passed off to Skye , with... "No, but I thought you may be interested in joining me in "The Full Monty!" MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings drove to the paint with... Sports Announcer: "In what may be the most wildly popular NBA half-time competition ever, Nelson is signaling the length of Duke's penis to the referees now, and it appears to be an incredible 2 feet long. Folks, I guess it's true what they say about black men, especially black men with large feet! The sight of this incredible feat of sportsmanship and spunk has left this announcer all choked up. It's truly a momentous day for roundball fans everywher...

My friends are a bunch of clowns. My blogging, virtual friends, that is. My blog roll was getting to be longer than the face of a last-place race horse, taking up too much space on the right sidebar. So I decided to create a separate page for my favourite bloggers . Why clowns? Because they are - in a good way. I've long been fascinated by clowns, going back to Charlie Chaplin's The Tramp, Emmet Kelly, Red Skelton , Howdy Doody's Clarabell (pictured above) and even Crusty from the Simpsons . And I grew up as a kid watching Kiddo the Clown as a tyke in Toronto. So to refer to my blogging buddies as clowns is appropriate and complimentary. On Bunch of Clowns , accessible by clicking on the clown picture in the right side bar, you'll be able to access all my favourites and there's a direct link to HumorBloggersDotCom , the mother house of all that's funny on the interwebz . In keeping with the a "circus" theme, I've called the HBDC links The Big T...

Recently I came across a story about an obese inmate in Houston, Texas and I just wanted to share it with you. This fat rat had apparently undergone two body searches and the prison guards had found nothing. But when it came time to take a shower the 500 pound guy not only bent over to pick up the soap but dropped the hand gun he'd hidden under his flabs of fat. Authorities charged him with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility. The incident gives new meaning to the phrase "concealed weapon". An inmate may well have inquired, "Is that a gun in the shower or are you just happy to see me?" Meanwhile, I saw another story from another prison - this one in Nashville, Tennessee - where, it seems an inmate has sued authorities for losing his prosthetic leg. Seems when he arrived at the facility a year ago the prisoner was carrying an extra leg and the guards wouldn't let him keep it with him. Seems now the prisoner wants it back but officials can...

Last week we ran our first Pause, Ponder and Pun . A rousing success, it generated significant interest and Renal Failure walked off with the hardware. This week's pic has a sports theme. See if you can come up with the funniest caption... Leave your caption in the comments and tune in Saturday to see who Be Hangin' With Dufus.

She’s been called wacky and erratic , but each week millions upon millions tuned in to see what blithering vapidness she’d come up with. And she made millions upon millions of dollars as the middle judge, bookended between Simon “Reminds Me Of A Cabaret Singer” Cowell and Randy “Dog” Jackson on American Idol. Bookended until last season when the program’s producers added Kara DioGuardi to the mix. I guess that was the beginning of the end for Miss Shut Up And Dance because last week she told her fans in a Tweet on Twitter that she was leaving the show. You know I don’t think it had anything to do with the fact that her contract talks were going nowhere. I think there were other, more substantive reasons, any one of which could have put her over the edge… Here are several reasons why Paula may have departed Idol: Cowell wouldn’t stop playing footsie with her under the judge's table. If Randy told her one more “touring with Journey” story she was gonna puke. All this time she thoug...

A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting. Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, 'PULL OVER!' 'NO', the young lady yelled back, 'IT's A SCARF!' **** There weren't any speeding cars where I was on the weekend. In fact they were all pulled over. My lovely wife tore me away from the computer Saturday afternoon and off we went to the annual Aylmer Auto Show at nearby Parc Des Cedres, bordering the Ottawa River. It was a gorgeous day, for a change, after having endured the wettest July on record. It was warm and sunny and there were lots of great vintage cars just waiting to have their pictures taken. And I mean vintage: some of these cars were actually older than I am! Not many, mind you...but some.

The big story in international news last week was Bill Clinton travelling to North Korea, meeting with Kim Jong-Il and freeing two female reporters being impisoned there. Laura Ling and Euna Lee were pardoned by North Korea after being convicted and sentenced to 12 years in a labor camp for entering the country illegally. Happy story, right? Well, leave it to our editorial cartoonists to find the humourous side to this story...

Okay, folks. We had some dufus "drive- bys " who didn't deign us with their participation, but nevertheless we had an excellent turnout for our inaugural run at this.. The crazies have captioned and the all-powerful-and-knowing supreme punster extraordinaire has considered all submissions. This was tough. It was a close call. Very, very close. All of our captioning crew exhibited tremendous talent in attempting to come up with the winning caption to this: Everyone provided funny captions. In particular, honourable mentions go to: Don from Beyond Left Field Now that I've got her attention, I'm gonna burn that babe's pants off. lotgk Fab Morvan , surviving member of the popular song duo Milli Vanilli , trying to make ends meet since his singing credentials were exposed in 1990. But the submission that had me snorting my Corona outta my nostrils was... Renal Failure Be careful who you let go down on you. Be very careful. Renal Failure, I hereby present you with ...

What is it with our society's pre -occupation with the left. For example, many think there's a stigma attached to left-handed people. The only stigma is intelligence. From what I've read left-handed people are smarter than right-handed folks. Barack Obama, Napoleon , Albert Schweitzer, Fidel Castro, John F. Kennedy, Jimi Hendrix, Paul McCartney and Prince Charles are all left handed. Well the latter may be the exception that proves the rule. Nevertheless, score one point for lefties. And why are those on the right, and some in the middle , pre -occupied with those on the left and view so called " left-wingers " as a threat? I don't think Al Franken's a threat to anyone other than someone who enjoys good comedy. One more point to the left. And what's with NASCAR . Why do millions upon millions a week tune in to watch forty guys race around a track in what amounts to one big left turn . NASCAR vehicles don't turn right although many of their d...

Hey, don't forget to stop by my caption contest - Pause, Ponder and Pun - and leave a caption. You might win exciting prizes. Well, no prizes really but significant web cred to have been awarded the I Be Hangin' With Dufus citation. Oh yeah, baby! Meanwhile on with today's post... The debate on the positive versus negative impacts of social media networking continues, this time around the Catholic Church has waded in. Me? In addition to having friends in the real world, I find such social media as Twitter, Facebook and my blog an interesting way to interact with new people across all social strata, age groups and geographic locations. Indeed, I think it's the technological equivalent of Walt Disney's philosophy: It's A Small World, After All . (I stress philosophy and not that annoying theme park song) Couldn't watch it all, could you? But I digress... I thought the Catholic Church ran out of feet to stand on a long time ago. But apparently it has ...