Skip to main content

Sunset Boulevard Redux


When she was much younger Barb had a dream job. One that she'd aspired to all her life. She was a singer in a prominent girl group. She got to dress up, get all dolled up and accessorized and best of all she got to sing and dance. She couldn't be happier. But Barb had a hard time separating her life on stage from real life. In fact, when she met new people she'd often shake their hands, look them straight in the eye, shoot her arms up in the air to the right and then the left, take a quick step forward, a step back, turn and whisper:

Hi, they used to call me Barb the Blue Angel
sha-la-la
doobyway
dum, dum, dum

And she continued to act this way long after they'd turned out the spotlight. She didn't know who had turned it out but someone evidently had. Probably the last one to leave the theatre. Needless to say people would be taken aback not having expected such a greeting. But Barb would just laugh and say:

Yakety yak, yakety yak
Don't talk back

She'd often tell people "I'm big. It's the 45s that got small." Her favourite rejoined was "Tell Mr. Lanois I'm ready for my solo." Bizarre, yes, but she was, in an odd way, meticulous about her musical meanderings.

For example, may years ago her then steady boyfriend Thor, lead guitarist in a punk band took her out for a quiet dinner one night and popped the question. Barb replied:

Ooh wah, ooh wah, ooh wah, ooh wah, ooh wah, ooh wah
Why do fools fall in love?

Just then the waitress passed by and Barb asked her:

Ah, ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya 
Little darling
Could we get the bill?

But Barb wasn't long for this world unfortunately. One day, after imbibing a few too many fruity alcoholic drinks with little umbrellas at the Washed Out and Destitute whiskey bar, she added her name to the pantheon of once promising rock and roll artists who died before their time and stumbled into the path of a magic bus and was killed instantly.  Now Barb had earned herself quite the reputation as a back-up singer and in the years to come after her "popular " years. But not a very positive one. Along with being meticulous and a natty dresser she also was a bit of a bitch. Thus it came as no surprise to those gathered when the music accompanying the funeral procession began:

 A wimoweh, a wimoweh
A wimoweh, a wimoweh
the lion sleeps tonight

 And those who thought Thor might have chosen The Bitch Is Back breathed a sigh of relief.
The prompt from Tara at Two Word Tuesdays was meticulous/punctilious this week.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...
41 comments
Read more

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.
53 comments
Read more

I Am Charlie, I'm A Bore

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel...you know the list, it goes on and on. The list of Hollywood hick-ups who not content to meltdown behind closed doors have to drag each and every detail out into the light of day and share it with all of us. Well, add Charlie Sheen to that luckless and lascivious list of losers. In the past few days he's been on every major media soapbox complaining abut how he's been treated and how he's misunderstood. Last night he spent an hour on ABC's 20/20 "in his own words". Charlie, you should have stuck to the script. "I have a highly evolved brain". You know I never did like that song by Helen Reddy in the 70s "I Am Woman". But I have to say the melody really leant itself well to a parody of Hollywood's latest flame-out, Charlie Sheen. Although I never thought I'd hear myself say this, my sincerest apologies to Helen Reddy. And now if you're ready (a little play on wor...
59 comments
Read more