Skip to main content

Out of This World


Captains Smug and Vainglorious sat comfortably in the pilot seats of their Martian spacecraft. A successful lift off had propelled them thousands of light years close to earth.  As they neared the great planet Smug declared smugly "Time to take the ship off auto-pilot" to which Vainglorious replied somewhat vaingloriously "I thought you'd never do that." They each regarded the other with arched eyebrows which both had come to accept as code for 'nuff said'.

As the exit door opened they both strode toward the gangplank but found they could not disembark side by side. Smug and Vainglorious had not run into this problem with other space captains such as Captain Humble, Captain Unsure or Captain Modest. Although shifts with Captain Pompous and Captain Stuck Up had proven challenging. So arching their eyebrows at one another they decided to dismount the ship sideways, face-to-face.

It's not that Smug and Vainglorious didn't like each other it's just that each thought he was better than the other. And with the upcoming competition for an Admiral's position Smug and Vainglorious were both sure they had the edge over the other candidates, Captain Hotshot and Captain Holier-Than-Thou.

As they stood there contemplating this an earthling by the name of John spied them and waved to them. Smug and Vainglorious looked at one another wondering what to do as a wave from an earthling was certainly beneath them. John, not to be deterred and seeing as he was a bit of a snob lowered his arm as if his wave had never occurred.

"Pardon me", said Smug "Could you tell us what time it is?"

"Time?" replied John. "I don't wear a watch."

"Well then how do you tell time?" inquired Vainglorious.

"I tell time by when I receive my CDs in the mail from Amazon.ca."

"A bit of a music lover are we?" asked Vainglorious smugly as he new the answer which was so obvious.

"Yes, I am" replied John with a self-satisfied grin. "And right now it's forty-five minutes past Bob Dylan and quarter to Eric Clapton.

Smug and Vainglorious looked at John with eyebrows arched.


The prompts were smug and vainglorious from Studio30+ this week. "Surprised?" he asked with eyebrows arched.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born.  That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network.  And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard.  But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door.  And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran.  The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993.  I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share.  The formula was pretty simple.  A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains.  The show opened as follows... Imagination Day!  Oh boy! ...
41 comments
Read more

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.
53 comments
Read more