The Six Degrees of Heaven

One day Anthony died and awoke at the gates of heaven. "I'm in" he no sooner thought to himself when a booming, castigating voice said "Not so fast Anthony. It's not as simple as that". Anthony turned in search of the voice and stopped when he came across a less than five footed bearded man in flowing white robes.

"You Peter? laughed Anthony. "That's right my son and that laugh is already one strike against you."

"Oh I'm so sorry St Peter. Please forgive me. But understand you weren't what I was expecting."

"That's not all you weren't expecting" said Peter with a wink of his eye. "Heaven is split into six sections and we decide which section arrivals will be placed. Follow me and I'll explain."

Peter called for a golf cart and took Anthony on a little excursion.

Their first stop was Eh Heaven. "That's where all the Canadians are" said Peter. "Of course, eh" exclaimed Anthony. "Now you're gonna tell me you provide them with poutine and Molson Ex forever." "No I'm not" said Peter. "But we do provide crueller donuts and double-double coffees from Tim Horton's".

They then proceeded to Bee Heaven. "That's where all the beekeepers are directed" said Peter. "It's not a large place but those guys do such good work keeping bees alive we thought they should be rewarded appropriately, so we hived off a portion of heaven just for them." "Sweet idea" countered Anthony.

"Next up is Sea Heaven and if you hadn't guessed that's where the world's sailors are sent. We keep them afloat for all of eternity," said Peter, "on water from the Sea of Galilee".

"Over there is D for Danish heaven. Guess who we direct there."

"And on your right is E for Everybody Else heaven. And that's where you're going. Don't worry it's a nice place to spend the rest of your life."

"But you said there were six levels of heaven. Where's the sixth?"

"Ah" said St Peter, once they've figured it out folks aren't too exited about it. Look."

My God - oops sorry there St Peter - everyone's face is blurred and replaced with the sixth letter of the alphabet. Why is that?" questioned Anthony.

"This" whispered Peter "is F heaven. For those that can't contain themselves up here and in their excitement use the F word this is where they're sent and F faced."

"Fuck" exclaimed Anthony "that's a terrible pun. Oops"

Over at Studio30+ they went with efface/erase as a prompt this week. Bet you're wishing I'd efface this post, eh?

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav...

30 Days of Writing - Day #1 - Cheese

Well, here we go again folks. As if it weren't enough that I knocked myself out in April participating in 30 Days of Photos, now dear Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese have corralled a bunch of us suckers into a 30 Days of Writing exercise. Yeah, I know. I must have stupid written backwards on my forehead. I don't know how they figured it out. They would have had to look in my mirror to realize it. Anyhoo, the first day's theme is - surprise, surprise - cheese. And here are the internet imbeciles Nicky and Mike managed to sucker into to this little exercise: Well, first off there's me! Once you've read my post you can visit: Mike and Nicky , Cheryl , If I Were God , Katherine , Laughing Mom , Linda M , Malisa , MikeWJ , Sandra , Leeuna and Still Unfinished . Okay, who cut the cheese? Well growing up in my house it was usually my mother. She prepared and served the food and the knife ...

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