Detective Dangerous

It was a muggy mid-summer morning. I'd been in the office for about half-an-hour, late due to a meeting last night with Jim Beam. I sat at my desk reviewing accounts, my back to the window and the streaming sunshine. I had my fedora perched jauntily on my head. I loved that fedora. Never went anywhere without it. And never took it off save for when I ate or had a crap. Mom always said take your cap off when you eat. Oh that's what it was "cap". I stand corrected. I only took it off when I ate.

There was no knock, just the office door creaking slowly open. If I thought the sunshine was behind me I was sadly mistaken because there, standing in my office doorway was something way hotter than ol' sol.

"Mr. Dangerous?" chirped the sweetest voice this side of Portsmouth.

"That's my name and that's my business" I replied. Also that's what was stamped on my business cards. All 500 of them. I got a great deal from Vista the internet printer. They're kinda like my partner but, of course, I'm the one that takes all the risks.

"Veronica" she purred, extending her hand. "Veronica Voluptuous."

No truer words were ever spoken. She was drop dead gorgeous. I took her hand. I could have held it forever. I doffed my hat and returned it to my head.

"Please be seated" I said and guided her to a chair. She sat across the desk from me and crossed her legs. And those legs were something. Wow. I mean they ran all the way up to her...ah...hips. You know what I mean?

"What can I do for you Ms. Voluptuous?" I inquired.

Turned out Ms was a Mrs and she needed my help. She wanted me to track her philandering husband Phil. Philandering Phil. Ha. I couldn't begin to write this stuff.

She paid me the dough for the down payment and rose to leave. Those legs again. And all I could think of was that song by David Guetta:

It's dangerous, so dangerous

I wanna do it again

Come on baby

It's dangerous, so dangerous

I wanna do it again

It's dangerous, so dangerous

I wanna do it again

"I beg your pardon?" she said

"Damn, did I just say that out loud? That could be dangerous."

So dangerous, if you hadn't guessed was this week's theme of at Studio30+. Check out the other dangerous tales.

My Back Pages - November

I know, I know, I know I should have reported in before now. But sometimes real life just gets in the way. I attempted 5 books in November. I say attempted because I slapped a big DNF (did not finish) on Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. I just can't seem to get into this guy. It's the second or third of his I've given up on, Not so the other four, starting with a biography of Stephen Stills called Change Partners. This followed by a hilarious biography of the guy responsible for National Lampoon called A Stupid and Futile Gesture - How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever. I ended the month reading yet another biography, this one of the man behind Rolling Stone magazine,. It was called Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner and Rolling Stone Magazine. A fascinating read. So last month I hit the magic number 50 I'd imagined for myself back in January. If I roll this month into my yearly total I'm at 54 books. And I still hav...

The Polka Dot Door

A long time ago, when I was 22, my first child was born. That kid grew up on a little Canadian kid's show called Polka Dot Door, produced by the TV Ontario network. And Dad, more often than not, sat through those shows with his little one. Nine or so years later when a brother, and a year after that when a sister came along number one son was moving on to Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazzard. But there was a nice overlap where his siblings picked up where he had left off with Polka Dot Door. And Dad was right there to welcome them. So you're looking at a Polka Dot Door veteran. The show began in 1971 and ran to 1993. I didn't watch the full run but I did get in my fair share. The formula was pretty simple. A young male and female host, which seemed to change every week, sang songs, told stories, made crafts and generally did their best stimulate little brains. The show opened as follows... Imagination Day! Oh boy! ...

30 Days of Photos III #4 Sour

Check out Ziva's Inferno for the rest of today's photos.

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