Women Are From Venus, Men Are From The Couch

It's a conspiracy, dammit. I swear. What do people have against men? Well, I'm not going to take this lying down. Although the results of a recent survey might indicate otherwise.

In Britain last week they released the results of yet another survey comparing men and women. The upshot would seem to be men are a bunch of layabouts. This research could be devastating it it falls into the wrong hands...like women!

Did you know, for instance, the average man spends one month searching for socks? Well, yeah, but that's because women keep losing them in the dryer when she does the guy's laundry.

Oh, and the average British guy spends 11 years of his lifetime in front of the TV. I don't know what they've got on television over there but it must be a whole lot better than Billy The Exterminator and Two And-A-Half Men. Must be all those soccer matches that the Brits mistakenly call football.

Guys will learn how to cook about 4 different meals throughout their lifetime, (fast learners, eh?) spend about 10,500 hours in the pub - I think these two things might be connected - and will say "I'm sorry" close to 2 million times in their lifetime. Shit, you'd think these guys were Canadian.

The survey also says the average British woman spends 8.5 years of her life shopping. No surprise there.

But here's a fact about British women I'm somewhat reluctant to pass on. The average woman apparently has four times as many brain cells as men connecting the left and right side of their brains. This makes them better at problem solving and multi-tasking.

If that's the case, then why haven't they found those socks they've lost?