You Know You're Getting Older When...

Two days past my birthday, and I came across these one-liners about getting old. I love the one about the address book with people that mostly start with Dr!

You know you're getting older when:

A fortune teller offers to read your face
The little old gray haired lady you help across the street... is your wife
You get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out." (Jerry Seinfeld)
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions
You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere

You actually want socks for Christmas.
You and your teeth don't sleep together
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work
You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

You're on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money does.
All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room
People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You send money to PBS
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You got cable for The Weather Channel.
You find yourself smiling at this list

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