nonamedufus

Okay, sorry, that was a terrible pun in the title. But, hey, it's what you've come to expect from me. And I'd hate to let you down. I wouldn't want to have been this guy. Look at the panic on his face. Although I guess, judging from your entires this week, its not his face that he should be worried about. Early versions of Optimus Prime really kind of sucked Moooooog Bike sex: Illegal everywhere except Germany MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings Fred Knievel's daredevil career was never quite as successful as his big brother, Evel's. Nicky@We Work For Cheese All good captions, my friends. But it was KABLOOEY that was just a little more out there this week with... Harry Dean Stanton, two weeks after that tenth DWI bust cost him his license . Okay, KABLOOEY. Way to go my friend. I'm happy to provide you with your big "brake" (heh, heh). This week you be hangin' with dufus. Hurrah, hurrah. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Thanks to everyone for playing. And now that...

So this past week I almost threw in the towel. I had, I guess, a crisis of confidence and said to myself "That's it. I'm packing in this blogging thing. I just can't do it anymore." Hell, I was in such a deep dark hole, I'd even written my own eulogy in which I linked to most of my favourite bloggers, past and present. There seems to be a significant slowdown among my blogging buddies. Over the last year or so many have dropped out of site. Others post less frequently than they used to. As some of you know I maintain two other blogs - a rock and roll blog and a political satire blog - and contribute weekly to yet another - The Parody Files . This means about 14 posts a week. Is it any wonder I was starting to feel a little drained, creatively? That was actually a rhetorical question. Never one to let a good piece go to waste, here's what I wrote and intended to use as my last post. A parody of Don McLean's American Pie... A long, long time ago I can st...

The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th mont h

I don't know about you but I think this could be a wheelie hard one. Or maybe I just mispoke myself. Oh well, over to you guys. Back Saturday with our results.

You may want to think twice about adding fries to that double cheeseburger order next time you're out at the local fast-food joint. In Indiantown, Florida last week a 32 year-old guy went to town on his 51 year-old wife for, and I quote, "eating all the french fries". Can't you see the next McDonald's campaign? They'll go from "I'm lovin' it" to "Fries worth fightin' for". Anyway, the guy started swinging a 12 inch bat at his wife - now there's a weapon, maybe he used to play little league. He could have been a short fella - you know, a small fry. Now, puns aside, this called to mind a classic radio newscast that made the rounds when I was starting out in radio. If audiotapes could go "viral" this was it. In one of the first instances of a Canadian radio station adopting an American format, in the late 60s/early 70s a Windsor radio station tried to attract Detroit listeners from across the border by, among other th...

This was a tough post to get going. I've been panic-stricken since Friday, racking my brain over what to write about. It's tough, you know, being as conscientious as I am. I know my readers expect high quality writing on issues of the day; issues that have an impact on their every day lives. And I know it's my job to deliver relevant, thought-provoking pieces. So I was particularly grateful as I perused the Drudge Report yesterday and I came across two articles, side-by-each that cried out to be written about. Why? Because to my way of thinking the question posed by the first was answered by the second. Talk about serendipity. Well, I wasn't actually. But now that you mention it. The first article told of an American government-funded research project to study...wait for it... cow burps. Ah-ha. You can see how this caught my interest. You see, to my mind at least, cows get a bad rap. Their farts always get blamed for hiking up the atmosphere's greenhouse gases - lit...

This guy goes to the head of the class for being such an idiot. You guys go to the head of the class for being so funny. Behind the scenes where all the King's horses and all the King's men try to fix that fat shit, Humpty Dumpty. M000000g Following this unfortunate incident, the game of 'Musical Chairs' has been banned from all public schools. Leeuna The day Matt decided that lion taming was not a viable career choice. Jeremy from We Took The Bait After being caught by surprise, Bobby realizes his chair sniffing days are over. 00dozo Our winner this week is that comical character from Colorado, MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings ... Paramedic 1: "It'd be easier to cut his head off." Paramedic 2: "Yup. I don't think he needs it, either." Way to go Mike. That one had me falling off my chair *rolls eyes*. Anyway, you've joined that prestigious group of people we obviously let pretty much anyone join. You now be hangin' with dufus, Mike. Congra...

Randy Quaid, despite his protestations to the contrary, is crazy. The Hollywood actor and his equally loopy life-partner Evi are seeking amnesty in Canada. Uh, huh. Why? Because the the two are convinced "Hollywood star whackers" are out to kill them just as they have Chris Penn, David Carradine and Heath Ledger. Quaid - Whacko Say what? Oh, yeah. Now you know why they call Southern California "la-la land". These two are a couple of fruit loops. And Randy can't understand why his more famous brother Dennis is ignoring his warnings. Cue Twilight Zone sound effect: *do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do* And you thought the Baldwin brothers were Hollywood's haywire family. Carradine - Whacked? I'm starting a petition right now to urge the Government of Canada to send Randy Quaid back to where he came from. Who'll join me? Think about it. What's next? Charlie Sheen seeks refugee status because he'll be persecuted by prostitutes in his homeland? Paris Hilton ...

Well, today's Blog Blast For Peace Day ; a day when bloggers around the world all blog about one thing: P-E-A-C-E. It's a serious subject. But seeing how I manage a humour blog I have a bit of a different take on the subject. This is the post I published last year but I like it so much I thought I'd run it again. Enjoy. And peace. In the giant land of Gastronomia, government leaders and their bureaucrats were all in a tizzy. The plump Prime Minister of Gastronomia was about to host a conference of the world's key leaders to discuss the fragile state of peace in the world and there wasn't a moment to lose to ensure, down to the minutest detail, all plans could be accomplished in time for the upcoming meeting of the Gastronomic 8. The finest of hotel suites would have to be booked, the fanciest limousines would have to be leased, a conference centre would need to be found and a top-notch security detail would have to be employed. But those things paled in comparison t...

I don't know how this happened. I'm sure though you've got some ideas. Leave 'em in the comments and then pull up a chair Saturday for the unveiling of our winner.

Okay. Take heed all you animal lovers. If you're contemplating expressing your ardour for our four legged friends by making love to a donkey you'd best put it out of your mind unless you want it's owner to kill you. Hee-haw. Don't laugh. It's true. That's exactly what happened in Portugal where some guy slashed the throat of another guy who violated his donkey. Anybody got a cigarette? The fella's name was Jaime Pires but locals called him Jaime Sheep because he was quite well known for making the rounds with local animals. Police discovered Jaime in a pool of blood wearing women's underwear. Sure, the guy wasn't kinky enough bonking donkeys he had to wear women's undergarments while doing it. Boy, I've heard of Dr. Dolittle, but this guy did a lot - almost every animal in the Village of Proenca-a-Velha, Portugal. This guy really played around. He wasn't true just to one donkey. Gives new meaning to stuffing the turkey. Not to mention mak...

Hey, this is like Sunday Funnies in Prime Time or sumpin'. Well, Americans go to the polls tomorrow in the U.S. mid-term elections. But today they celebrate...the end of political attack ads. They've been running for months now. And if some of the comments left on the blog here are any indication, my American buddies are sick and tired of all the mud-slinging. Some political cartoonists have picked up on this and I share with you some of the ones I've come across. Oh, and hey, and if you're south of the 49th parallel, don't forget to vote tomorrow!

Well everyone took their best shot this week and a few of you just narrowly missed the target. Here are the guys who made it into my sights this week... You've got me stumped. Georgina Dollface The day the Oompa Loompas decided they weren't gonna take Willy Wonka's shit any more. Moooooog Moooooog's small stature didn't stop him from entering the Thanksgiving turkey shoot. Boom Boom Larew The Overcompensator fires bullets the size of soda cans and is guaranteed to drown out the haunting memory of everyone in high school laughing at you because you didn't get pubes until you were 17. Renal Failure But Chris@Knucklehead fired off a winner, and had me choking on my Cheerios with... And then the little guys got drunk and played a game of Lilliputian Roulette. Ha, ha, way to go Chris. You be hangin' with dufus! Congratulations my man. Kudos to all who played along this week. I wish I could publish all the captions 'cause they were all so good. See everyone n...