Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Sometimes You Just Wanna Tell People STFU


"You're certainly not very loquacious, are you?" said Fred.

"Lowwhatchis?" responded Ed.

(Notice the alliteration there? Alliterwhatshun? Never mind.)

"You know. You're not very loquacious, not very talkative."

"Huh?"

"You don't say much, you're not chatty or communicative."

"Oh, I see. You think I'm not very voluble, expansive or garrulous. Well, let me tell you I can be gossipy, have the gift of the gab or be overly gassy. I used to be a real motormouth, talk, talk, talk. My mother always told me I must have been inoculated with a gramophone needle. I was so windy people thought a tornado touched down every time I opened my mouth. Talk about being multiloquent, prolix or verbose - that described me to a tee" said Ed, a tad offended.

"Well Fred" said Ed, "but you're so subdued, restrained, quiet and untalkative. What the heck happened?

Ed shared a conspiratorial wink with Fred, and whispered "I got tired of people telling me to shut up."

"Now, shut up."

The guys and gals over at Studio30+ are talking up a storm this week with their prompt of loquacious/talkative. Enough said.


Sunday, 10 May 2015

Size Doesn't Matter


Jane first met Jeffrey at Starbucks. She bumped into him, literally, in the queue. I like that word queue. Hard to spell though. Anyway, Jane bumped into Jeffrey from behind and when he turned around it was like the Friendly Giant was towering over her. That's a Canadian reference. If you're not Canadian, think Jolly Green Giant or the Hulk, but lose the green reference, because Jeffrey wasn't green. But he was friendly and jolly and as they sat together out of necessity at the one remaining table in the store, Jane had to laugh behind her hand because it looked like poor Jeffrey was sitting at one of those tiny school desks of Kindergarten kids.

So they got to talking over their latte grandes, because that's what they call them at that snooty Starbucks, otherwise known as medium coffees with a bit of whipped milk and they discovered they had a lot in common. They both loved the same kind of music, had similar interests in movies and enjoyed the same detective novels by authors like Van De Wetering,  Lehane, Connelly, Louise Penny ,  Crais and many many more. So many more they both decided to have another medium coff...er...Latte Grande.

They exchanged numbers and promised to call. He called first and Jane was thrilled. Jeffrey asked if maybe she'd like to have dinner. She agreed and they met at one of the nicer restaurants in town. A lovely meal and a good bottle of Clos des Pares helped ease them both as they continued their discussion about music, books and cinema. She told him she was single. He told her he was divorced, no kids.

One thing led to another and he took her home to his condo. She was impressed by his decor. He told her he shopped very carefully because, given his size he wanted to be comfortable. The kitchen table and chairs were tall, the sofa was extra large and as she would find out later his bed was gigantic.

After several hours of amazing lovemaking Jane quietly got up to go to the washroom and when she came back she yelled "Holy cow, Jeffrey,  I almost fell into your toilet. I know you're large and all but that commode is, um, er, commodious!"

Roomy/commodious is the prompt from the folks at Studio30+ this week. Of course I chose commodious.


Monday, 4 May 2015

Bibliofile - April


Well it was another fairly eclectic month on the reading front in April. Several novels from several of my favourite writers. A couple of music industry books. A behind the scenes movie-making book and a dud. That's right, a dud.

I'd read Thomas Pynchon's Inherent Vice in March and although it was a bit of a tough read it had it's moments so I thought I'd give his Gravity's Rainbow a go. Mistake. This was the most complicated and difficult novel I've ever undertaken. I lasted about 150 pages and then threw in the towel...and the book.

The latest Archer and Lehane efforts were excellent but then I buy nearly everything these two put out.

There were two highlights of the month. The first was As You Wish, a behind-the-scenes look at the making of The Princess Bride written by "Wesley" Cary Elwes. If you liked the movie then I find it inconceivable that you won't like this book.

I picked up Bill Buford's autobiography and was pleasantly surprised by the former drummer for Yes, Genesis and King Crimson's erudite and knowledgeable tale. Not only is he an accomplished musician and music historian as it were but the man is extremely well-read. This book was a real pleasure to read. Not your typical, or stereotypical rock and roll tale.

The other music book does it's best to prove the Beatles Revolver album was far more influential and timeless that Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The author makes some excellent points and it was an enjoyable read.

Here's the full list for April, seven books bringing my year's total to 24.

Gravity's Rainbow - Thomas Pynchon **
The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins ****
Mightier Than The Sword - The Clifton Chronicles Book 5 - Jeffrey Archer ****
World Gone By - Dennis Lehane ****
As You Wish - Inconceivable Tales from
The Making of The Princess Bride - Cary Elwes ****
Revolver - How The Beatles Reimagined Rock 'n'Roll - Robert Rodriguez ****
Bill Buford: The Autobiography - Bill Buford *****

I caught up with several TV series this month including the Borgias, wonderfully acted by Jeremy Irons, the wonderfully quirky Twin Peaks and the fabulous and thought-provoking Angels in America starring Al Pacino, Emma Thompson and Meryl Streep.
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