Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Photo Blogging Challenge - September

This month's challenge from ol' P.J. is black and white. I took him literally and so all my photos this week are black and white. I'm used to colour photographs so this month's collection was a bit of an eye opener for me.

That round thing on the table is a ceramic puffin we picked up at a gift shop in Ogunquit, Maine a few years ago. But what I like about this picture is how the light shines through the metal shade onto the wall behind.


These are flowers on our kitchen table. I was having lunch and doing a crossword when I thought these white flowers might satisfy this week's prompt.


I'd been passing by this place for weeks but could never find a place to stop and park so I could get out and take a few pictures. I was really quite taken by this dilapidated barn. But as I approached it I came across a fence post that I included in my shot.


Here's the barn, which used to be white but it's now pretty aged by the weather. I had to park in the neighbour's driveway, get out of the car and walk into the field to get this shot. The neighbour came out and shouted "Hello". I said "I just want to take a picture of this barn. I'll only be sec." He was kind enough to let me park in his driveway. I felt a bit rushed and I didn't quite get as close as I wanted, though.


This last photo was taken at a nearby cemetery. For some reason I had cemetery in my mind all month once I knew the prompt. There's just something "black" about one's final resting place. The neat thing about this picture, I thought, was how the sun dappled across the lawn and tombstones. The place was very peaceful. I was the only one there.


That's my collection of pictures for September. Hit P.J.'s link, above, to see what the rest of the participants came up with this month.

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

I Love To Spoil Them - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt


The big fella with the long white beard offered to take me on a tour. And as he spoke I noticed how his eyes twinkled and that his dimples were merry. How could I refuse. Heck, I'd surely hurt his feelings.

So we jumped into his little red golf cart and as he gave a whistle away we flew through an immensely huge factory. Man, it was bigger than Amazon! There were cobblers cobbling and little elves elving and then what to my wondering eyes should appear but seven dwarfs carrying kegs of beer.

Out of the golf cart I flew in a flash at the big guy's offer of a glass from his secret stash. And it was delicious. I got the feeling tonight was kinda special.

I watched as those little guys worked so hard at their tables assembling tons of toys for millions of girls and boys. What a sight.

The big guy patted me on the back and told me how proud he was of his little workforce - emphasis on little I guessed.

And they whistled while they worked! They were actually happy at their tasks. I thought I heard the strains of "Here Comes Santa Claus". And it was infectious because I found myself humming the song. And the big guy whistled, then shouted, and called me by name and said "So what do you think?"

Well, I was flabbergasted, naturally. "I'm simply amazed" I said. "But how on the world do you do it? How do you get these little guys to work so hard and actually enjoy it to the point they whistle while they work?"

He laid a finger aside of his nose, because it was itchy, and he gave a nod to a set of huge doors behind us.

He winked, twisted his head and opened the doors. I started to stare and then I laughed at what I saw in spite of myself. It was a large red velvety room full of tiny scantily-clad female elves. Many were smoking as they lounged on velour divans and sipped on daiquiris, Tom Collins and other fancy  alcoholic drinks.

I thought my eyes must be deceiving me.

The big guy turned with a jerk and said " I love to spoil them".

"Well, you've convinced me" I exclaimed, 'ere I melted at the sight. "When can I start!"


Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Taught By My Example - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt



"Having grandkids is great" I thought. "You get to teach them stuff and play with them, not to mention spoil them with gifts and candy and such, and when they start to get tired or a little out of control you get to give them back."

So I starting thinking and planning what I'd do with my grandkids the next time they visited. They're my daughter's kids. And I love to spoil them while making things difficult for her and her husband - in a fun way of course. They'd tell their parents "But Grampa said... " I look upon it sort of as karma. My daughter's not so sure.

"Let's see" I said to myself  "we've already loaded them up on chocolate and revved them up on sweets before they had to go home."

"And" I laughed "there was the Christmas I gave my eldest grandson a drum." That didn't last very long for some reason. Somehow playing it in the early hours of the morning didn't go over very well with his parents.

"Let's see, the eldest is seven and the twins are four. I think they're old enough" I said to my wife. "It's time they learned a long-standing family tradition handed down to me from my father and from me to my children." "Are you sure?" queried my wife. "You're daughter will kill you." "Maybe" I said but the kids will love it. And besides the tradition must live on."

And so my daughter her husband and the kids visited. We sat down to dinner. BBQ'd burgers and hot dogs - their favourite. And for desert? JELL-O!

"Hey guys, watch this" I enthused. And as I squished the JELL-O between my teeth turning it to liquid they stared at me wide-eyed with their mouths agape as I gargled my dessert. Oh, there were hoots and hollers over Grampa's antics and soon there was JELL-O everywhere; running down kids faces, dribbling from their mouths and down the front of their shirts. Over the gargling JELL-O and gales of laughter my daughter looked at me with eyes that could kill, knowing full well this was an antic that would now be repeated when she got them home.

"Thanks, Dad, I..." and she broke down and started laughing as she looked at me with JELL-O streaming out of my left nostril.

"Hey" I gargled proudly "I can honestly say they've been taught by my example."

And she replied "Yeah - some example!"


Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Taking a Deep Breath - @Studio30Plus Writing Prompt


"Try taking a deep breath" I suggested. She sat in front of me, breasts heaving, trying to catch her breath. She appeared at my door moments ago, wild-eyed and trembling. "Detective Case?" she had gasped. I knew she was frightened by something. Hey, I'm a detective, right? So I put my sleuthing skills to the test as she crumpled into my office chair.

"How can I help you?" I asked in my best-ever inquiring detective voice.

She swallowed hard, averted her eyes and folded her arms over those heaving breasts. My detecting skills determined she was amply endowed.

"What was that?" I said. Good Lord. I'd been so busy inspecting, urm, detecting her heaving bazooms I'd zoned out.

"I said 'Can you help me?'"

"Yes, of course" I coughed as I shifted my gaze, regretfully, to her face. My detecting senses switched into high gear. I realized I'd seen that face before. "Wait a minute" I said with surprise "I've seen your face before." And those heaving breasts I thought to myself.

"Yes" she said and lowered her eyes coquettishly. "I'm Henrietta the Jalapeño Popper Princess."

Of course, I thought, I'd seen her on late night local PBS TV pushing poppers to people like me who can't sleep. Jalapeño poppers. But my sleuthing abilities should have determined this because, man, she was hot.

"Someone's killed Pierre" she moaned.

"Pierre?"

"Yes, Pierre, the portly pepper popper promoter. I push peppers for Pierre."

"You push peppers?"

"Yes, silly" she replied purposefully, "on Public TV in Pittsburgh."

"Yes, yes you do. And may I say you're a very pretty pepper popper pusher."

She fluttered her eyelashes and avoided my gaze. Hey, at least I was staring at her eyes.

"I want you to relax Ms Popper Princess. Like I tell all my clients 'Case is on the case'" I said smugly. That was an expression I'd come up with all on my own. I even had business cards to that effect. A case of them.

"Let me see if I can sum things up for us. Your pal Pierre the portly pepper popper promoter employs you - Henrietta the Jalapeño Popper Princess - to push poppers in Pittsburgh on Public Television for which you get paid. But now your pay has been pre-empted because a person has popped Pierre?" I proclaimed.

Her penetrating pupils made me palpitate as she purred "Perfect!" She perkily proclaimed "So you can solve this case, Mr., um, Case!".

"Probably."




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