Saturday, 31 March 2012

Pause Ponder and A Pair of Pontoons

I really don't know how this woman maintains her balance. Can you imagine the backache she has to put up with. She's defying gravity.

We had a "big" response this week. A lot of great captions. I guess pictures of big boobs just seems to bring the "breast" out in people.

I think our first runner-up had his eyes somewhere else. But he was very observant...

Nice spice rack.

Our next commenter went the practical route...

Octomom's wet nurse.

I really liked the next caption...

"...and that's how nonamedufus became my favourite blog ever."

But after all was said and done I just couldn't stop laughing at our winning caption...

Candy started drinking heavily after she lost a part on Seinfeld to Terry Hatcher.
Seems nobody believed her reading of the line "They're real and they're SPECTACULAR".

Way to go Nicky. You really know how to keep abreast of situation comedies from the 90s. Now you be hangin' with dufus. What do you say we head on down to Canadian Tire. I hear there's a big sale on headlamps.

Thanks to everyone for playing along this week. It's really great you all lent your "support" to Pause Ponder and Pun.

Friday, 30 March 2012

30 Days of Photos - Prelude

Are you ready for this?

I'm not.

Sure I like to take pictures.

But I'm not a photographer.

I'm not a master of light, focus, composition or zoom control.

I point and shoot.

And my camera of choice is my iPhone.

I was out yesterday taking pictures in preparation for next week's topics.

Not easy.

But challenging.

And it should be fun.

And to me, that's what this is all about. Fun. At least that'll be my take. Because, dammit Jim,  I'm not a photographer.

We kick off Sunday, April 1 - me and a handful of other bloggers. I'm not sure who all is involved in this little exercise. When I do find out I'll post them here so you can visit them all. I do know Mike from Too Many Mornings and Ziva at Ziva's Inferno are involved. This is their brainchild, after all. And they're both very accomplished photographers. I hate them both.

And Bryan from Unfinished, 00dozo from When I Reach and Nicky and Mike from We Work For Cheese will be snapping their little hearts out too. I shutter to think what they'll all come up with. (Um, that was a little pun, there.)

Because this endeavour will push aside my regular blog activities, I'll be posting Pause Ponder and Pun and Sunday Funnies to dufus dazemy other blog. I'll be sure to post a link each time.

And, as for 30 Days of Photos, I'll be posting a pic each day at 8am Eastern Daylight Time. Why? Because Ziva said so and she's the boss. She wants us to all flood the internet with our stunning masterpieces at the same time. For example, Ziva will be posting at 15:00 Eastern European Summer Time. But nasty Ziva left it to the rest of us to figure out just when that was in our time zones. Just so you know.

So get set for Sunday. And...


Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Pause Ponder and Pun #118

Okay you guys.

Here's an uplifting pic for you this week.

You can show me your support by leaving a caption or two.

Bust a move guys and we'll see you Saturday.

Monday, 26 March 2012

Real Men Don't Know How To Dress

A recent study in Britain, a country known for it's probing, cutting edge and highly useful surveys, has found that two-thirds of men there rely on their wives or partners to tell them how to dress.

Also, the survey found, half of men were physically dressed by their wives. You know, doing up their tie, fastening their cufflinks or inserting their collar stiffeners (not a euphemism). Kinda brings new meaning to the phrase getting up in the morning.

The majority of these men said they let their significant others dress them because they themselves lacked a sense of style.

Oh, c'mon. I'm sure the same doesn't hold true for North American men. Me? I pride myself on my sense of style. In fact my wife has commented on the stylishness of some of my purchases. Sure it's thing's like, "Hell, that thing looks like it's outta the 70s." But, hey, at least I can shop for myself. I can buy t-shirts and tube socks with the best of them.

Get down tonight?

And like I'm gonna trust my wife to dress me? She who gets up three hours ahead of the alarm to start trying on clothes to determine what outfit she's going to wear to work? First of all she doesn't have time to spend on choosing clothes for me. Unless she can lay them out for me the night before. Hey, now there's an idea.

But why bother, anyway? Like I should be dressed to the nines in case I have to stop and ask somebody for directions? Like that's gonna happen.

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Pause Ponder and Pitch Your Partner

This was a terrific week for captions. You guys were flinging them left and right with abandon. It was quite a challenge to pick a winner. Indeed, it was a real toss-up. Let's see what we've got...

At the rooftop square dance, Jim takes "swing your partner" a bit too literally

I said "Pull my finger! Pull my fingerrrrr!"

And here we see the first tribute being tossed into the arena to
officially start The Hunger Games.

All good ones guys. And look at 00dozo's return to our little arena of puns with a caption true to form. Have you guys seen the movie yet?

But our winner this week has long been the bridesmaid but never the bride in our little contest. Well that all changes now. My cherie ami from Mesa, Arizona is responsible for leaving a comment that has become a wicked ear-worm whirling around in my brain since Wednesday...

You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a shot put baby!

Yay, Quirks. You've done it girl. You be hangin' with dufus this week. Just like old times, eh?! Congratulations my friend. What do you say we get together and head on up to my roof where we can toss around a few ideas. Then we can throw some cats, maybe a racoon or two, perhaps a dwarf, before we work up to tossing our cookies. Ha, ha!

Thanks everyone, for playing along. And, again, congratulations Quirks.

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Picture Perfect

So what do you think of my new masthead? Clever, huh? A horse with no name and a horse with noname? Get it? Yeah, okay. I really used to like that song. Moving on.

So I'm back from my vacation in Panama. The trip back was a tad better than the trip down. No tearing through airports like O.J. Simpson (I know. I'm dating myself.) only to discover I'd missed my connection. And bonus: I had a very lovely lady pat me down as I boarded my flight from Panama to Orlando. It was the best action I'd had in two weeks.

So I thought I'd let you know about an interruption to our scheduled program. Beginning April 1, I'll be suspending regular blogging activity to participate in something called 30 Days of Photographs II. "What the hell?" you say. Well it could be hell. Posting a photo every day for 30 days and writing a little about it? And there are rules. And there are directions. What the hell did I get myself into?

You might remember last year at about this time Ziva, that blogging femme fatale from Finland, at Ziva's Inferno and my fellow Facebook comment hijacking buddy Mike at Too Many Mornings challenged each other to a similar endeavour. Well this year they've expanded the challenge. There'll be bunch of us "developing" our photographic skills and sharing the results with each other. Every day four 30 days. That's right. Every damn day.

Here's a sneak peak of what we'll be aiming for...

Day 1: Silence
Day 2: Architecture
Day 3: From An Ant’s Perspective
Day 4: The experiment
Day 5: Power
Day 6: Tragedy
Day 7: Mirror
Day 8: A stranger
Day 9: Something I hate
Day 10: Waiting
Day 11: Wheels
Day 12: Fear
Day 13: Pleasure
Day 14: Forty-two
Day 15: Wood
Day 16: Ordinary matters
Day 17: Time
Day 18: Fire
Day 19: White
Day 20: Bird
Day 21: Moon
Day 22: Portrait
Day 23: Fish tales
Day 24: Crowd
Day 25: The future
Day 26: My toothbrush
Day 27: Nude
Day 28: Outlier
Day 29: Lines
Day 30: The Devil

So tune in April 1 for the first picture. There's a few in that list that I have no idea how to handle. Nude? Really? If I publish that one you guys may never come back.

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Pause Ponder and Pun #117

This could be a picture of the Flying Wallendas before they got their act together.

I'm not sure.

How about you?

Leave a caption in the comments.

Then fly back here Saturday to see who said what. 

Monday, 19 March 2012

If Loving You Is Thong, I Don't Want To Be Right

Sure, wait until the end of my holiday before bringing out the big guns.

There I was Sunday, minding my own business, sitting on the balcony of my brother-in-law's Panama condo looking out over the infinity pools and ocean ruminating about what I enjoyed best about my two week trip to Panama.

Was it the 100+ degree temperatures?

Not exactly.

Was it the great meals we had on our trips out to various restaurants?

Not exactly.

Was it the ability to play golf every day?

Not exactly.

Was it the gorgeous beach?

Not exactly.

Was it the fantastic sunrises?

Not exactly.

Was it the zoo in the fertile - and cooler - volcanic valley of El Valle?


Well what was it then?

Well, over beside the pool - and at the risk of appearing to be an old lecherous coot, which I may well be  - it was the discovery of young women in thongs. That's right, thongs. I'd seen pictures before but I've never seen them in their natural habitat. Hey, I've led a sheltered life. What can I say?

And these women - well I say women, but I think they were girls...I didn't want to get too close for fear they might run away and I might get arrested - were, um, 'wearing it well' you might say.

Ha, who knew? Yeah, who knew I was so damn old. I must have been living under a rock for the last 40 years. When did they invent the thong, anyway? Well, according to Wikipedia the modern thong was invented in 1974. And it's taken me this long to actually see one in it's natural habitat. I gotta get out more.

I was so impressed by how these thong bikinis looked on these women I went and got one myself.

You know, I head home tomorrow.

And I really have to say (because I know you expect it of me) I'm really going to be sorry to leave Panama behind.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Pause Ponder and St.Patrick's Day

Now there's a good upstanding Irish name for ya. Happy Saint Paddy's day to you guys. How many of you folks will be imbibing of the green ale today? Not me. No, the only thing green in my beer will be the lime in my Corona. I don't think they do green beer in Panama.

Remember this guy from earlier in the week? He's some pot of gold isn't he? Let's cut right to the heart of the matter and see what you guys had to say about him...

Mr. Gaga, putting the finishing touches on his red carpet outfit.

This is all wrong. You can't eat with two knives. He should consider replacing one of them with a fork.

Knife, knife, baby! Under pressure, my sinuses.

But our winner planned ahead and took into account the day we'd be announcing the winner. ..

Shamus learned quickly the rests of trying to steal a Leprechaun's gold.

Way to go LOTGK. Faith and begorrah, lad, you be hanging with O'dufus this week. Maybe you and I ought to take a trip on down to Wal-Mart. I hear they've got a special on steak knives this weekend.

Thanks to everyone for playing this week. Join us next Wednesday for another exciting edition of Pause Ponder and Pun.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Putting Around in Panama

I was taking things easy Tuesday. It's my chemo pill day so I stuck close to the condo and didn't play golf with my brother-in-law Jean-Marc and his friend Christiane. It gave me time to read up a little on Manuel Noriega. You know, the former military governor of Panama who was trained by and worked for the CIA, ran drugs, killed people and now wastes away in jail after finally being extradited to his homeland after trials and jail terms in both the United States and France? Yeah, that's him.

Noriega not a happy camper when captured.

Did you know that when the Americans invaded Panama in 1989 and surrounded the Vatican Embassy where he was holed up in an operation called "Nifty Package" U.S. Navy Seals blasted rock music at deafening levels in an attempt to get him to surrender? Do you know what song they played over and over again? I Fought the Law and the Law Won by the Clash. It must have worked. He surrendered.

On Wednesday, I fought the golf course...and I won. With Tuesday being a wash out and in outings previous to then I never finished all 9 holes, yesterday I managed to complete the course. The temperature here is in the mid 90s, so unless you start early the heat'll really get to you by about the 6th or 7th hole. Well it got to me. But yesterday we started at brother-in-law, his friend and my nephew Pierce.

For a 9 hole course, this is pretty challenging. Here's a few shots.

Look at that friggin' water hazard I had to hit over!

Nephew Pierce seems to like the beach.

Christiane seems to like the water.

More water on the challenging par-3 7th hole.

Jean-Marc and Christiane on the final hole.

You know I'm awfully spoiled. It's just not gonna be the same when I get home and have to go the indoor Golf-O-Max and hit balls up against a video canvas. 

Oh, well. 

Spring is almost here.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Pause Ponder and Pun #116

Okay, like, this guy's a real cut-up.

A little early for Hallowe'en, dontchya think?

What do you think?

Leave me a caption or two in the comments.

We'll see who among you has the edge Saturday.

Good luck.

Monday, 12 March 2012

Passing Time in Panama

Well my late arrival, and the even later arrival of my golf clubs and clothes are well behind me and I've been enjoying a relaxing time on the beach at Bijao, Panama, near Santa Clara.

The days have fallen into a simple routine of golf in the morning, before it gets too hot, a bit of a nap, lunch, another nap, a dip in the pool, a walk on the beach and a cocktail or two before dinner.

The temperature here is in the low to mid 90s for you American types and around 32-36C for my Canadian compatriots. So it's good to get the golf out of the way early in the day. When I first arrived I was after my brother-in-law to find an 18 hole course. The one at his place is 9 holes. Well, I tell ya it's all I can do just to finish 9 holes. So that's just as well.

Things move slowly in Panama. Case in point: the air conditioner in the living room blew and my brother-in-law made arrangements to get it fixed last Saturday. Last Saturday the repairman called and said he'd be by this morning. He hasn't arrived yet. We all have air conditioning in our bedrooms so sleeping's no problem but boy it's hot in that room during the day! You might just as well spend your time on the balcony.

Speaking of which "Mom", my 82 year-old mother-in-law, and I like to spend a little quality time in the late afternoon out on the balcony, she with her gin and tonic and me and my cerveza. This is an interesting time of the day. You see she speaks French and I speak English and I think the more we have to drink the better we understand each other.

The view from the balcony

This morning I took a stroll down the beach and watched the sun come up. Here are a few pics. I may not want to go home, guys.

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