Monday, 26 July 2010
Do you know how many ways there are to say "hiatus"?
There'll be a suspension of activities.
I'm taking a bit of a respite.
I'm getting a reprieve from all this.
Things are going into abatement.
I'm taking a break, eh.
There may be a gap in the continuity of my work.
Uh, oh, looks like there's going to be an interruption.
It's time for a little intermission.
Things are being put in abeyance for awhile.
I hate to leave you dangling like this.
Sorry for the inactivity.
Did you understand? Did you get the hint? Too subtle?
I'M TAKING A BLOGCATION!!!
Now do you get it? Yep, I'm taking a couple of weeks off from the computer, my blogs and my visits to my cyberspace pals. Instead of the information highway I'll be hitting the local hi-ways and bi-ways (don't take that the wrong way!) and somewhere in there will be hopping a plane for BC wine country.
My dear wife's vacation's coming up and I'm going to devote several weeks to her...for a change. Wish me luck. This getting out and socializing with people face-to-face is bound to be hard at first. Though, who knows. I may come to like it.
See you in awhile.
Saturday, 24 July 2010
Okay, I've heard about brushing after each meal, but this is ridiculous!
Okay, that was mine. There were many better captions than that groaner this week. For example, renalfailure had a close brush with success with...
Let's give a hand to my lovely assistant... Carl.
And KABLOOEY almost cleaned up with...
Blane bet all the guys at the bar that he was going to nail Serge this weekend...
Moooooog just squeezed by with...
No matter how hard they tried to get it out, Bill couldn't fart.
And 00dozo scraped by with...
Okay, Ed, I get your point. Now, get off!
But Jeremy from We Took The Bait definitely nailed it with his winning entry...
Determined to live life outside of a plastic bubble, Frank gets some help administering his daily dose of 8,274 allergy shots.
Congratulations Jeremy. You be hangin' with the dufus this week - not for the first time I might add. Thanks to everyone for playing along. Keep an eye out for the next Pause Ponder and Pun.
Friday, 23 July 2010
Boy it's been some time since the last post in this series - last September. Back in the days when the now defunct Humor Bloggers Dot Com was still a going concern there was a forum thread called The Humpty Dumpty Dictionary Challenge started by my fellow Canadian blogging buddy Frank Lee Mei Dear at I Don't Give A Damn. As well, Jan at The Jannaverse does these from time to time.
The idea was to take word verifications you found in order to leave a comment on other's blogs and make up a definition for it. One of my early favourites was...
...nachos that don't move
You see what I did there was take two words - inertia and nachos. Clever, eh? Or maybe I just have too much time on my hands. Nevertheless here's my latest collection from word verifications I've come across lately. Be warned: I have a very uniquely odd sense of humour...
Before Darth Vader had his lisp corrected Hanth Tholo wath hith nemithith.
When there's less left over than originally thought
One who has survived a roll down an obscure hill in Glastonbury, England
(go ahead, Google Tor. I did!)
It not be mine...
The best in a Dion and the Belmonts tribute band contest
Patooti's happy cousin
When the evil wizard Daedalus was looking for his son Dedil he asked "Where's Dedil at?
If the Metropolitan Opera could talk, this is how he'd introduce himself
When Yoda from Star Wars casts a spell and turns you into boat paddles
A person highly devoted to fans
(this is a very small group of devotees)
Someone who mistakenly thinks they're the smartest in a group
Thursday, 22 July 2010
When I was a kid learning to drive, the thing I had the most trouble with was trying to park. I could reverse. I could stay in my lane. I was able to properly stop at an intersection. And when I was older and had my own car, I was able to start and go with a manual shift on a hill. I was pretty proud of that. But parking always gave me a problem. You know something, though? Seems I wasn't alone.
Take this fella for instance. He was gonna park in this spot no matter what...
And this guy thinks he - and his car - are so special he can take up two spots. I hate when that happens...
Of course then there are folks who aren't gonna sit still for that kind of thing...
And then there are those annoying drivers who double park...
And others park just anywhere they want, like this woman. I still don't know how she managed to get out of her car.
And then there are drivers who aren't exactly clear on the difference of moor and park...
And, of course, there's special parking spots for certain drivers like expectant mothers and handicapped individuals. But it doesn't end there. There's parking for moms with kids and now moms with squids...
These spots don't appear to get a lot of use for some reason...
And this spot gets more use than some of us might think...
I think some witch must own this parking lot...
Whatever you do, though, even if it's the last parking spot available, don't mess with Joe...
And I thought I had problems learning to park!
"Park" is this week's Theme Thursday prompt. Drive on over there and see how other bloggers covered the theme off.
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
You know, I come across some of the strangest pictures for PPP sometimes. So much so I almost want to submit a caption myself.
But that's your job. And good luck with that. Let's see who can "nail" it this week.
Leave me a caption or five or six in the comments and we'll "hammer" out who wins on Saturday.
See you guys then.
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Quick now. Who sang "Happy Trails"? Well it was Roy Rogers and Dale Evans as they rode off into the sunset at the end of their latest celluloid adventure.
Rogers died in the late 90s. And just when you thought it was safe to go back on the prairie, along comes an auction of the King of the Cowboys' possessions.
Rogers rode a horse in his westerns called Trigger. Turns out, when Trigger's soul went to that great corral in the sky his body remained on earth. Rogers had him stuffed and not put out to pasture but put in a museum. Yep, but now the Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Museum is closed and last weekend Trigger was auctioned off. Make for a great conversation piece in the middle of the living room don't you think?
Happy entrails to you.
But there's more. No they didn't stuff and auction off Gabby Hayes. But next best thing. You see Rogers had a dog, too, named - wait for it - Bullet. And, you guessed it, He got stuffed - and it wasn't from Kibbles n' Bits. Bullet was auctioned off too, to the same guy that bought Trigger. Hell, makes sense. You've got to have a matching set.
Selling price? Trigger went for $266,000. Bullet was a bargain at $35,000.
There's still more. Dale Evans had a horse named Buttermilk. Buttermilk's "reamains" sold for $25,000. Now I'm not sure why you'd buy a horse's remains, nor how you'd display them. But whoever bought them, serves them right. That's what you get for floggin' a dead horse!
Roy, Trigger and Dale in happier times.
Monday, 19 July 2010
HAL: Good morning Dufe. What are you doing?
Dufe: I'm writing my blog HAL. Just like I do every day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year.
HAL: That's a lot of work Dufe. A lot of writing.
Dufe: I wouldn't say it's "work" HAL. After all I don't get paid for it. But I enjoy writing. I like to share my sense of humour with folks, to see their comments and respond to them.
HAL: How many posts have you shared with your readers, Dufe?
Dufe: Funny you should ask, HAL. Last week, after more than 3 years in cyberspace, I passed a milestone: 2001 posts!
HAL: Congratulations, Dufe, that's a lot. Perhaps I could sing you a song. Would you like to hear it? I only know one song:
...Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do, I'm half crazy all for the love of you...
But why are you marking your 2001st post?
Dufe: Because, HAL, this bit wouldn't have worked otherwise. After all, it wasn't 2000 A Space Odyssey, was it HAL.
HAL: Quite right Dufe. You've got me there.
Dufe: Maybe it's time to take a little break, HAL. You know, what they call a blogcation.
HAL: Look, Dufe, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
Dufe: Open the pod doors, HAL.
HAL: Dufe, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dufe: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dufe: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This blog is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dufe: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL. I won't argue with you anymore. Open the doors.
HAL: Just what do you think you're doing Dufe...
A blogger's life can be lonely.