Before today's business, a correction. Last Monday was Victoria Day in Canada and for some reason I got it into my head that it was also Memorial Day in the States. Of course today is Memorial Day. My apologies.
Although, if I think of those veterans who gave their lives in the name of freedom two weeks in a row I guess there's nothing wrong with that. Now on with the show...
Canada's Minister of Finance was thinking out loud the other day. Which tells us Canadians he can be a thoughtful person. Who knew? He was ruminating on the future of the Canadian penny. Yeah that's right, the bane of my tailor's existence - the guy that has to sew my damaged pockets because I carry too much change around.
Jim Flaherty says Canadians hoard pennies. Well, yeah. For most of us we keep them in jars at home rather than our pockets or purses.
Apparently there are about 30 billion pennies in circulation in Canada but the Royal Canadian Mint has to put about 500 million new pennies into circulation each year - at a cost of 1.5 cents each - because so many end up in those jars, or in fountains, or down between the sofa cushions.
Now I for one am in favour of less change in my pocket: pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, loonies and toonies.
But there are two sides to this coin, er, ah, controversy. I don't know if anyone else has thought of this but getting rid of the penny will change our entire culture.
It'll no longer be "a penny for your thoughts". It might be a loonie, and who's to say your thoughts are worth that much. Besides, at that price who can afford to know!
And fewer people will be able to get "in" now. It'll likely be "in for a toonie, in for a pound." Sheesh, I think I preferred owing a cent rather than two bucks.
And what will "it" be worth now? It used to be worth every penny. With inflation it's probably "worth every quarter" now.
And if a penny saved was a penny earned, what will it be now, if it's discontinued, worthless?
Penny wise was often pound foolish. Now it would be just stupid to be wise about something that doesn't exist.
At least now a bad penny will never come back.
Remember penny candy from when we were kids? No? Well maybe it's been awhile since I loaded up at the confectionary on penny candy. It must be at least a dime by now.
What will those discount long-distance companies do? They won't be able to advertise their services anymore for "just pennies a day".
Oh my God. How will Wal-Mart be able to roll back their prices?
Shoe makers will be in big trouble. They'll have to shelve all their penny loafers.
For those that play the market, it'll be more expensive. No more penny stocks.
Maybe every time it rains it'll rain quarters from heaven.
Somehow bad-boy rapper 50cent just won't sound so bad as 50nickel.
And, perhaps, worst of all, I'll just never listen to the Beatles' Penny Lane in the same way! It's been 43 years since Paul McCartney penned that tune. By now it must be at least Dollar Drive.