Saturday, 27 February 2010

Pause Ponder and Punt

There were some great captions this week.  For example Don demonstrated terrific punmanshp with...

The Pillsbury Doughboy will be sure to knead the team into a cohesive unit.


Ziva demonstrated her hunger to win with...

They knew little Jimmy had an eating problem when the football went missing mid-game.


And our good buddy Moooooog gave us something to Cheers about

Kirstey Alley plays football?!?!


But Mad Mad Margo has the week's winner...



Clearly a case of dunlap disease...his belly done lapped over the top of his pants.






Way to go Margo.  You be hangin' with the Dufus.  Uh, keep your germs to yourself.

Friday, 26 February 2010

Ode To The Flu



My apologies if this post is late
I'm contending with something I hate
No matter what I've tried to do
I can't get rid of this blasted flu

I've aching bones, a pounding head
I'd rather just stay in bed
My ears are plugged, can't hear a thing
Even when the telephone rings

How many boxes of tissues I've used?
Countless, my poor nostrils are abused
And I blow and blow but all for naught
Because I've an endless supply of snot.


Thursday, 25 February 2010

Message In A Bottle


We often read fictionalized accounts, or watch poignant movie portrayals, of someone stranded on a desert isle who drops a message in a bottle in the hopes of getting rescued.  Why didn't they think of that on TV's Lost?  They may have gotten off that bloody island by now.  Or on Gilligan's Island. I don't think they ever thought of a simple message in a bottle in the three seasons they were on television.  Three seasons?  It was supposed to be a three hour tour...a three hour tour.  Add on Gilligan's decades of syndication and that little sucker wasn't a clueless bumbling nincompoop for 3 hours or 3 years.  He showed us how dumb he was for close to 30 years.  It also perpetrated the age old question, "Ginger or Mary Ann?"

I wonder if Sting was thinking of Ginger and Mary Ann when he wrote his Message in a Bottle in 1979.  Formed in 1977, The Police were known for the reggae-influence in their music.  This song is from their second album Regatta de Blanc, a top seller in Britain and the rest of Europe.

The video is somewhat unique in that it is apparently the televised debut of Message In A Bottle, prior to its recorded release.  It's also before the band members dyed their hair their trademark blond.  Another message in a bottle, as it were.





Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh 
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh 
More loneliness than any man could bear 
Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh 

I'll send an S.O.S. to the world 
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world 
I hope that someone gets my 
I hope that someone gets my 
I hope that someone gets my 
Message in a bottle, yeah 
Message in a bottle, yeah 

A year has passed since I wrote my note 
But I should have known this right from the start 
Only hope can keep me together 
Love can mend your life but 
Love can break your heart 

I'll send an S.O.S. to the world 
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world 
I hope that someone gets my 
I hope that someone gets my 
I hope that someone gets my 
Message in a bottle, yeah 
Message in a bottle, yeah 
Message in a bottle, yeah 
Message in a bottle, yeah 

Walked out this morning, don't believe what I saw 
Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore 
Seems I'm not alone in being alone 
Hundred billion castaways, looking for a home 

I'll send an S.O.S. to the world 
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world 
I hope that someone gets my 
I hope that someone gets my 
I hope that someone gets my 
Message in a bottle, yeah 
Message in a bottle, yeah 
Message in a bottle, yeah 
Message in a bottle, yeah 

Sending out at an S.O.S. 
Sending out at an S.O.S. 
Sending out at an S.O.S. 
Sending out at an S.O.S. 
Sending out at an S.O.S. 
Sending out at an S.O.S.

This musical interlude is brought to you by Theme Thursday.  Drop by and follow the links to see how my blogging buddies interpreted "bottle" today.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Heavy Hitting Caption Contest


Back to sports this week for our captioning perspiration, er, um, inspiration.  Must be the Olympic influence.

So kick this pic around and let's see who can score a winning caption.

And don't forget to rush over to The Screaming Me-Me, where hopefully Mad Mad Margo has gotten over her flu and has one of her funny pics to huddle over.

See you Saturday with the results.

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

The Most Miserable City in the United States

Poor Cleveland.  Who knew it sucks to be Cleveland?  The Mission Statement from the city's web page states:

We are committed to improving the quality of life in the City of Cleveland 
by strengthening our neighborhoods, delivering superior services, 
embracing the diversity of our citizens, 
and making Cleveland a desirable, safe city in which to live, work, raise a family, 
shop, study, play and grow old.

Not the most thrilling look at the future.  It's kind of like they knew there was a thing or two wrong with the old home town.

But the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is there.  Drew Carey is from Cleveland.  Lebron James and Shaq play for their basketball team.  And, my favourite Christmas movie, A Christmas Story, was filmed there.



But apparently none of that's good enough for Forbes.com.  They've conducted a poll that rates Cleveland the most miserable city in the United States.

What were the key things that propelled Cleveland to the top, er, ah, of the bottom?  High unemployment, dismal weather, hefty taxes, corruption and mediocre sports teams.  Mediocre sports teams?  Ah, thank goodness they don't count mediocre sports players.  Not you Lebron, your aging new partner.

The city's nickname didn't help either:

The mistake by the lake.

The city's reigning (get it?), over-taxing, corrupt politicians where mediocre sports teams play may want to think about changing that mission statement.

How about something like, oh, I don't know...

Saturday, 20 February 2010

They Call It Art

I'm out of town tending to some personal business.  Sorry if you were looking for me yesterday.  I've only just got enough time to share with you our winner this week.

I think Tgoette rose to the occasion with his caption of...


Michaelangenlo's David giving a Golden Shower to school children
is part of the latest wave in modern cultural expression, followed by 
the Mona Lisa taking a dump on a live chicken.



Way to go Tgoette.  You be hangin' with nonamedufus this week!

See everyone next Wednesday for our next Pause, Ponder and Pun.

Thursday, 18 February 2010

The Bell

Barry Fraser over at An Explorer's View of Life has cancer.  The members of Theme Thursday are helping him mark a milestone this week.  Regular readers of my blog know about my bout with cancer, my undergoing chemo since October and the radiation and stem cell transplant yet to come.  You can catch up on my ordeal my clicking on the cancer2 label at the bottom of this post.  But Barry is doing his last scheduled chemo treatment this afternoon and when he's done he's going to ring this:


Go to Barry's blog and see what that's all about.

Good luck Barry, and to all those undergoing cancer treatment.  Cancer is an insidious disease and we've got to find a cure.

For a close family member and even closer friend that cure couldn't come soon enough.  She slipped from us earlier this week.  So here's my bell, a last bell if you would, for her...and for her partner and best friend.


A Consoling Poem About Death: Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

Henry Scott Holland ~ 1847-1918
Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral ~ London. UK 


I'm trying my best to believe this.  I know she would have.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Pause Ponder and Pee


I don't know what you'll do with this pic this week.  I'm almost afraid to know.  But we'll be back Saturday with a weiner, er, um, winner.

Good luck and don't forget to whiz over to Mad Mad Margo's The Screaming Me-Me for more captioning craziness.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Milder, Wetter, Flaccider

Well let's see, now.  We started out with a winter Olympics with no snow.  Events on Cypress mountain were seriously in doubt as they trucked in snow from elsewhere.  Too bad Philadelphia or Washington, D.C. didn't win the Olympics.

At Whistler, fog and rain was such a problem that men's downhill skiing was postponed for two days.

In the opening ceremonies, the hydraulics for one of the four indoor cauldrons didn't work - kind of like an internationally-televised version of erectile dysfunction.  And speaking of dysfunction, what was that 15 minute Wayne Gretzky ride in the back of a pick-up all about?



The talk at the Richmond Skating Oval is all about the "fair" quality of the ice because the facility is at sea-level.

And, of course - and sadly - a Georgian slider lost his life in a luge practice run.

Boy these Olympics got off to an auspicious start.

But observers seem to have looked past these adversities as athletes push swifter, higher, stronger in their quest for gold, silver and bronze.

Thank God Canada finally won a gold on home soil.  Alex Bilodeau took top honours in the men's moguls event Sunday night.



Canadian Olympics broadcaster CTV has really been hyping the crap out of "it's our time" in terms of never winning a gold at a Canadian-hosted Olympics - 76 in Montreal and 88 in Calgary.

Maybe now they'll let us recline, enjoy, relax.

Monday, 15 February 2010

Sometimes Packages Can Be Deceiving

Okay.  We had the guy with the explosive underwear, remember?  Remember?  Yeah, you know, the guy they asked "Is that a bomb in your pants or are you just glad to see me?"

Well, get this.  Men in Britain can downgrade that bomb but still be able to beef up their briefs.

Excuse me?

A British department store group called Debenhams was selling a very unique pair of men's underwear online.  And as Valentine's Day approached last week sales shot up 76 per cent.

You might say these are underpants that enhance, if you get my drift.  They're sure to get a rise between the thighs and a reaction from your girl...up to a certain point.

The underwear are advertised as "anatomy-boosting".  Uh-huh.  They work the same way as a woman's cleavage-enhancing Wonderbra in that they use a "lift and hold" feature in the front.


Who would have thought?  Package-enhancing underwear for men.

The department store stands behind its product...as long as they're worn.

They won't be held responsible for the let down, I guess you could say, once the pants come off.

Saturday, 13 February 2010

That's Why They Call It A Contact Sport

Well, plenty of folks attempted to convert their comment into a funny caption.  We had some great lines this week.  Here are a few honourable mentions...

Renal Failure kicked things off with...

After years of ridicule Fred Crotchblaster's day of glory had finally come.


C booted a long one with...

Regret at the idea of rushing the kicker was the SECOND strongest feeling Jimmy experienced that day.


And Whitey converted with...

Everything's bigger in Texas, usually because of the swelling.


But guess who got the three-pointer?  Mooooog's back with another win this week with...

At the very last second Jimmy decides to go for two.





Way to go Moooooog.  You be hanging with Dufus!!!  Congratulations, dude.

Friday, 12 February 2010

On The Road To International Ingenuity

I came across two headlines side-by-each on an internet website this week that gave me pause.  The first went like this:

Toyota recalls 437,000 Prius hybrids, globally

And the second told me:

Iran starts processing nuclear fuel towards weapons-grade strength

Is there something wrong with this picture?  Japan, so long the darling of the high-tech universe can't seem to make a car that is able to stop.  Between faulty Prius brake pedals and other models' - eight I think - gas pedals that keep going, a Toyota is about as popular as watching golf without Tiger Woods.



Meanwhile, a middle-eastern backwater headed by a guy called Mahmoud Iamanutjob, announced this week it had begun manufacturing a higher grade of enriched uranium.  Why?  Oh, gee, I dunno.  WMDs?  Where's George Bush when you need him?

So the question is: if underdeveloped Iran's on the road to nuclear weapons why can't high-tech Japan build a car that'll at least stay on the road?

Here's another one for you.

The Vancouver Winter Olympics open today.  The only problem is, its not very wintery in Vancouver.  Most venues are fine but rain and mild temperatures have wreaked havoc at Cypress Mountain, the venue slated to host freestyle skiing and snowboarding events.  Organizers have been trucking in snow from as far away as 160 miles away.  Canadians have been more interested in if the trucked snow will get there in time more than the progress of the Olympic flame, captured throughout the day on the CBC News Network in a segment entitled "The Road To The Olympics"!

The real road to the Olympics

But wait a minute.  Doesn't anybody remember that story last year about Chinese meteorologists seeding the clouds over Beijing to make fake snow?

Duh.

A British music hall song told us it was a long way to Tipperary?

Well, it's a longer road for snow to carry.

Someone once coined the phrase it was a long road to hoe?

Well, it's a longer road with snow.

The Eagles once sang it was a long road out of eden?

You can bet it's a longer road than seedin'.

For the sake of freestyle skiers and snowboarders,  I hope we're not on the road to ruin.

We live in a wacky world.

Thursday, 11 February 2010

The Not-So Magic Mirror

What's something most of us do each morning after we've rolled out of bed?  Ok, before we get too far ahead of ourselves with our morning ablutions I'll tell you.

We look in the mirror.  We look in the mirror as we brush our teeth, wash our face, comb our hair, as women put on their make up and God knows what else as men wait patiently for them to finish.  The mirror is an important part of our day.

Are you gonna be much longer?

We jump in the car and look in the rear-view mirror as we back out of the driveway, hopefully, and the side-view mirrors as we join the morning commute.  Again, hopefully.

If we work for CSI 1, 2 or 3 or NCIS 1 or 2, or any other TV cop show, we use a two-way mirror to observe colleagues sweat the truth out of their suspects.

Mirrors are everywhere.  From a dental instrument to a space telescope.

My first introduction to mirrors was as a kid growing up in Toronto.  Everyday I'd watch the American feed of Romper Room beaming to my TV antenna from New York City.

Miss Nancy introduced little children to DoBees.

Dear old Miss Nancy.  She was the first host, starting in 1953 and carrying on until 1963.  She was like pre-school.  And the precursor to other kids' shows like Sesame Street.

And she taught me things using Do Bee and Don't Bee, like "Do Bee an obedient child" or some such kiddie hogwash.

And what about the mirror?  Well, at the end of each and every show - and this was the part I waited for patiently every day - Miss Nancy would look at the camera through her "magic mirror" and speak these  hypnotic magical words:

"Romper, bomper, stomper, boo.  
Tell me, tell me, tell me do.  
Magic mirror tell me today. 
Have all my friends had fun at play?" 

And then, the moment of truth.  She named all the little boys and girls she could see through her magic mirror out there in televisionland:

"And I can see Billy and Sally and Joey and Jeffrey 
and Jack and Bob and all of you boys and girls out there!"

Miss Nancy should look in a real mirror - yikes!

Oh, yeah, Miss Nancy?  I watched you and your sorry excuse for a kids' show for three years before I started kindergarten and you never saw me.  Not once did you call my name.  And you call that a "magic mirror".  Ha!

***

Mirror, if you hadn't guessed was the subject for Theme Thursday this week.  Hop on over to their site and reflect on how other bloggers have interpreted the theme.

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Pause Ponder and Pun


I know they drafted him as a place kicker but I guess they didn't tell him which place to kick.  Okay, that's my effort.  What's yours?

Give it a go and we'll see you back here Saturday with our honourable mentions and a winner.

In between time, why don't you drift on over to Margo at the Screaming Me-Me.  She's an upright kinda gal and always has a great pic to take a kick at.

Good luck!

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

This Guy Got A Bang Out Of Smoking


I've been smoke free for about 15 years now.  That's some accomplishment.  I began smoking when I was barely out of knee-pants.  At 13, my father - a several pack-a-day man - philosopher that he was, told me he'd give me his permission but not his approval.  Good enough for me.  A 30-year habit was born.

There were many times I attempted to snuff out the dreaded weed.  Cold turkey, gum, patches - you name it, I tried it.  Once I quit for a year, only to start again at a party.  Stupid.  And expensive.  And in my teens I recall emptying out the ashtrays after a party and grinding the hard, stale tobacco into a pipe bowl to smoke because I'd run out of cigarettes.  Oddly, that didn't make me quit.  It just made me go out and buy a pack of smokes.

Well, I tell you maybe I would have quit if something like this had happened to me.

Some poor guy in Indonesia, where men apparently light up cigarettes more often than their libido (60% of Indonesian men smoke), got a big bang after partaking of his sickly addiction.  No, not the Tiger Woods big bang kind of addiction.  This guy lit up a cigarette and...BANG...it exploded...in his mouth.  The poor fella lost six teeth and lived to tell the tale.  Although, we're not entirely sure he could talk after the mysterious mini explosion.

The tobacco company has agreed to pay the man's medical expenses.  Wow, and Toyota thought they had problems.  Imagine a cigarette manufacturer who's product blows up in your mouth.  I'd hate to be the crisis communications firm in charge of that account.  Or maybe they could turn this to their advantage and rebrand their image.  Imagine the advertising slogan.  Something like:

"TNT cigarettes - more bang for your buck!"

Or maybe they could get into niche marketing:

"TNT - the cigarette trusted by terrorists"

I guess that's too much of a niche market.

The fella involved says he's decided to give up smoking.  Hmm...I wonder what convinced him?

Monday, 8 February 2010

Who Was That Masked Man?

My cancer treatment was stepped up somewhat last week when I visited the hospital for a scan.  The scan is one of several in preparation for radiation therapy or,  to be precise, what's called tomo therapy.  This is pretty leading-edge stuff.  It was developed at City of Hope Hospital in California and has only been performed for several years.  My hospital is the only one in Canada doing this therapy and according to my doctors I am only the second person in the country to undergo such treatment.  Heady stuff.

My dear wife drove me to the hospital for the scan.  I changed into a hospital gown and waited for them to call me.  In the scan room I met about 5 different technicians, including a student technician.  The procedure was explained to me by one of the technicians.  The first thing they would do would take a mould of my body, from head to toe.  The idea is to develop the mould so I won't move when the radiation is precisely targeted at my body.  They use two canvas-like bags, one for the upper body and the other for the lower body, filled with tiny styrofoam chips and then blow it with air to form the mould.  So far, so good.  No problem.

The technician had said something about a mask but I'm afraid I wasn't catching it all.  The room, the machine, the people - it was all a little much to take in.  Until they told me to close my eyes.  Okay.

Yikes!  What the hell is that?  It felt like warm silly putty all over my face and head.  And I couldn't move. I had to keep my body and head perfectly still.  Okay.  I can do this.  I'm a big boy.  Hey, I can breath through my nose.  But I've got to swallow.  And my cheek itches.  But I can't move.  How long is this going to go on for?  I could feel my blood pressure rising.  I was getting increasingly claustrophobic.  All I could think of was Terry Sawchuk.  Remember the goalie?  The first goalie to don a mask?  I kept wondering "How the hell did he wear one of these things?"  This has to end soon.  Would you believe it went on for an hour.



Yep, this wasn't just a session to make a mould that could be used for future radiation sessions.  They were doing a PET scan.

Finally, it was over.  They let me go.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  I went and got dressed.  As I opened the dressing room door to leave, who should be waiting for me but the student technician.  Guess what?  Now they wanted a CAT scan.  Um, would I have to wear the mask?  Uh, yes, we're afraid so.

Ah, but this time I saw the mask.  I don't know where I got the stupid idea it was silly putty.  It was actually like fibreglass strips.  Ah, that's not so bad.  And it wasn't.  The second scan, with the mask, took about 10 minutes.



I've got to go through this one or two more times before the radiation.  Using laser beams, the mould,  and, yes, the mask the doctors want to be certain the cancer is precisely targeted during radiation.  Those sessions, likely in about a month or so, will last a couple of hours, twice a day, for about 4 consecutive days.  And you know what?  I might just open my eyes.

Saturday, 6 February 2010

My What Big Breaths

We had a lot of entries, as it were, this week.  Again it was hard to pick a winner.  Let's start with those that got a rise out of our judges in terms of an honourable mention:

Moooooog came through with...

Johnny suffered from the extremely rare and fatal condition known as BlowupPenisitis.


Renal Failure provided some stiff competition with...

The ramifications of the teddy bear shortage of 2010  will not be known for some time.


Tgoette blew the competition away with...

Vern Troyer on the set of "Mini-Me: Revenge of the Tripod"


But it was Whitey who stuck it to everyone with...




I thought you said to put another shrimp on the Barbie


Congrats, Whitey!  You be hangin' with Dufus!!!




Friday, 5 February 2010

Don't Turn Around, You're Being Followed




Easy, easy, yes you're seeing double.  On Sunday, although I didn't learn till Tuesday, bloggin' buddy Cat Lady bestowed the Best Follower Award upon nonamedufus.  On Tuesday, wouldn't you know another bloggin' buddy - Quirkyloon - awarded me the same psuedo pstatuette.  Now either this means they really admire me, my blog and the comments I leave on their posts OR our bloggin' circle of influence is seriously shrinking.  I prefer to believe the former regardless of how true the latter might tend to be.

So thanks, guys, that was really nice of you and I deeply appreciate it.  Imagine, not one but two of the same awards in the same week.

What?  The questions?  What questions?  To paraphrase my favourite movie line, from Treasure of the Sierra Madre, "I don't have to show you any stinkin' questions".  Oh...I do?  I was actually hoping you guys would forget.  Hell I had to answer less questions on my last tax form last year.  Okay, okay, well you asked for it, so here goes...

1. What is your current obsession?
For good or for bad - and not to open on a downer - cancer is my latest obsession.  The medication, chemo, doctor's appointments, trips to the hospital and so on just sucks all my time and energy.  Not fun. But I'm looking forward to feeling better and my crutch is blogging.  I love writing, reading others' posts, reading, responding to, and leaving comments.  It really helps get me through.  So, off the top, thanks for that everyone.

2.  What are you wearing today?
Jeans and a t-shirt, natch.

3.  What's for dinner?
If you're asking about my culinary skills, bacon and eggs, soup, hot dogs and grilled cheese sandwiches. Take your pick.

4. What's the last thing you bought?
Gas.  Uh, no relation to what I cooked.

5. What are you listening to right now?
Duane Allman - Anthology and Duane Allman - Anthology II

6. What do you think of the person who tagged you?
a) Cat Lady: a genuinely nice and funny lady; an excellent writer
b) Quikyloon: a brave and busy lady who's got her life in balance; how she writes a quality daily piece is beyond me.
I'd love to meet both of these fine folks.  We'd have a blast.

7.  If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
On a warm and sunny beach, far from tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Warm sunny weather would be nice.  Cool, rainy days really depress us here where summer isn't nearly long enough to begin with.  We don't have air-conditioning but we've got an in-ground heated pool we spend a lot of time in.  And it's great when the kids and grand-kids come over.  Just call us the Prune family.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
The beer store.  You haven't left me much time to go anywhere else!  Where I live, it takes about an hour just to get to the airport.

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Well, I'm married to a Francophone and as a former public servant who spent years in French immersion at taxpayers' expense yet never became fluent, I'd still like to learn French.

11. What's your favourite quote?
I have two: "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" and "Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana."  They are both attributed to that great philosopher of the 20th century, Groucho Marx.

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Groucho Marx, but he's dead, so I'll go with either Neil Young or Martin Scorsese two hugely creative forces in their own genres.

13. What is your favourite colour?
Blue, blue, my love is blue (where did that come from?) and so are my eyes...and after 13 questions so's my ass!

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
My mantra: Trim nose hairs, trime ear hairs, wear deodorant.

15. What is your dream job?
Dreaming.

16. What is your favourite magazine?
I read Maclean's a weekly Canadian newsmagazine and Uncut and Paste, British and American monthly music magazines.

17.  If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
CDs (music).

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Whenever my wife gives me that look as we're going out and asks me, "Are you going to wear THAT?"

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
I'm a guy.  Next question.

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
One about every 6 months.

21.  What are you going to do after this?
Get dressed.  I lied about the t-shirt and jeans.

22.  What are your favourite movies?
Just saw Star Treck - loved it.  All time favourites include: The Departed, Usual Suspects, Fargo, Blazing Saddles, The Big Labowski, Shaun of the Dead and, oh, so many more.

23. What inspires you?
My kids.

24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Well once they got past "shit-for-brains" in my adolescence they reverted to my name, John.  A-ha, now you know.  My wife has a special name for me "niaiseux".  It's French, naturellement.  Loosely translated it means "silly", and that's being kind.  And I am.  Hey, life's too short.

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Smoked too many cigarettes and drank far too much coffee in my younger days.  Gave them both up.  Don't drink tea.

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Doesn't happen.

27. What makes you go wild?
Um, that's a personal question...and she wouldn't let me answer it.

28.  Which other blogs do you love visiting?
This is hard to narrow down.  My blogroll will give you a good idea.  My current Top 10 has to be:
Quirkyloon
CatLadyLarew
MadMadMargo
Beyond Left Field
Too Many Mornings
Stuff and Nonsense
I Probably Don't Like You
Knucklehead
Crochety Old Man Yells At Cars (send him your love and best wishes)
Debbie Does Drivel

29. Favourite Dessert/Sweet?
I have diabetes so I have to be careful.  If I slip it's for either pumpkin pie or rice pudding.

30. (phew, almost there, sorta) How many tabs are turned on in your browser right now?
When I go shopping I don't browse for Tabs, I browse for diet-Canada Dry ginger ales.

31. Favourite Season?
Duh, I live in Canada.  I'll take the 3 weeks of summer over our 6 months of winter.

32.  If I come to your house now, what would you cook for me?
Me, nothing.  My wife's the cook and you'd be blown away!

33.  What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Get out of contact sports!


34. What are you afraid of most?
Rain.  It knocks out the HD satellite TV signal.

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Trim nose hairs, trim ear hairs, wear deodorant.

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
My wife.  Hey, I'm a romantic. (For some reason I'm hearing "niaiseux" in my head right now.)

37. A word that you say a lot?
Love.  Right, now I'm getting all mushy.

38. What would you do if you were made President for one day?
Take a day-long tour of the US of A in Air Force One.

39.  What is the one thing that keeps you going?
Breathing.  After that my wife.

40. What word drives you crazy when you hear it?
It's a phrase actually, fairly common to cancer victims: "Have you had any nausea, vomiting or diarrhea?"

41. What's your least favourite character trait?
Vanity.  Seems essential to many sports figures and politicians these days.

42. What do you get if you multiply six by nine?
A headache.

43. What do you get when you fall in love?
Sometimes, after several years, one of them often tries to multiply six by nine.

And now, as part of this lengthy, time-consuming meme, I'm supposed to add a question.  So...

44. Who put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong?

Okay that one's for whomever I pass this meme along to.  Well I've got about 5-7 followers who comment daily, or several times a week, here without fail.  One of them in particular visits all three of my blogs.  I won't mention her by name for fear you'll think she doesn't have a life.  We've already taken care of Quirks and CL.  So...regardless of whether they carry on with the meme or not I'd like to canonize the following 3 bloggers with the Best Followers Award:

MadMad Margo at Screaming Me-Me
Don (Red Raider) at Beyond Left Field
and
Mike at Too Many Mornings

Enjoy, guys, and thanks for following - or as we say in cyber space - stalking me!  And Quirks and CL, thanks again for the award.  You know what they say about thinking alike...fools seldom differ!  Well that's what THEY say, whoever they are.  I didn't say it.

Boy, I'm glad I got in at 44 questions and somebody didn't wait until it was up to 98 or something.

Oh, and Cat Lady?  That's not me hangin', just a reasonable facsimile and metaphor for my childhood.  Damn, all my secrets are coming out now.



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