Friday, 31 July 2009
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
...the practice of shampooing, to the point of near addiction. For example, Peggy Lee, who sang "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair" can be said to have practiced prelism. (Prell shampoo)
One who has been taught to be dishonourable; one given an ignobleness lesson.
ie: He was so dishonorable he could probably teach an ignesson.
You've heard of Google? This is the act of searching for change on the internet. 2 choices: "Coingl Search" or I'm Feeeling Lucky"
What an obstetrition does to confirm a woman's pregnancy = an o.b. dab.
These are the folks who enjoy swinging both ways...they're bi-likers!
Two of my favourites on the list include Ettarose from Sanity on Edge's entry:
ABLEO: What a pirate says when asked if he is able.
and an entry from cdmauger at Maugeritaville:
ASHOLE: He's not a complete asshole, but he's getting there.
And you thought humour bloggers had nothing better to do with their time!
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Monday, 27 July 2009
No, the story I'm talking about was found in the New York Post and it reports on Charles Manson's Overture to Phil Spector. Spector, the famous music producer known for his so-called "wall of sound" approach to recording was recently transferred to Corcoran State Prison in central California, where Manson -- who masterminded the savage Tate/LaBianca killings 40 years ago -- is housed in a separate wing.
Manson, who had a mad on for getting into the music business in the mid-60s before he gave up and settled for a quieter existence as a mass-murderer, apparently sent Spector a note praising his qualities as a music producer. Funny he didn't mention his admiration of his qualities as a murderer. Spector, who reportedly threatened artists such as the Ramones and John Lennon with a gun and Leonard Cohen with a crossbow, is currently serving 19 years for the fatal shooting of a young actress. But despite his proclivity for brandishing weapons, there's no denying the man was a genius at the sound board producing such artists as the Ronettes, the Crystals and other "girl groups" in the 60s, the Righteous Brothers Ike and Tina Turner and even the Beatles.
I wonder what Manson has in mind in striking up a friendship with Spector. Does he want him to Be My Baby?
Maybe he's hoping they can throw off their shackles and sing an Unchained Melody.
Perhaps he's enlisting Spector's help in escaping one night. You know, going over the wall of sound (okay, that was bad).
Maybe it's not Spector he's interested in but his cellmate Ronald. Yeah, perhaps he wants to Da Doo Ron Ron.
My Sweet Lord! Imagine! Get Back!
Okay, okay enough with the music puns. Some people don't know that the murder of Sharon Tate and her friends was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In trying to break into the music business Manson tried his best to impress Terry Melcher, then a top music producer and son of actress and songstress Doris Day. Melcher spurned Manson and Manson was so mad he sent his buddies out to murder him. Turns out Melcher's former address was the Tate household. Who was in the right place at the right time? Tate's husband Roman Polanski wasn't at home.
Que Sera Sera.
Sunday, 26 July 2009
Ironic he should pass away at about the 40th anniversary of that latter event. Ironic, too, that he should be replaced by Comedy Central's Daily Show host Jon Stewart who last week was rated America's most trusted news anchor in a Time magazine poll. These ironies didn't escape editorial cartoonists this week...
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Found under "be careful what you ask for":
Sue didn't exactly have this in mind when she'd asked for a new Jersey.
And here's the comment I left on Ettarose's blog...
Holy cow, I won? Manure the best Ettarose. This is udderly fantastic. I'm truly moo-ved! Thanks.
I hang the Golden Craption Award with pride on my right sidebar with the rest of my hardware. If you click on the pics you'll see how I came by my other wins.
Friday, 24 July 2009
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
I guess you could say that after pooling their resources police nabbed the swimwear thief.
If he hid the swim suits in trees you might say police discovered trunks...in trunks.
If it didn't take police long to solve the crime, you could say he was arrested after a brief investigation.
Upon searching his house I wonder if police discovered what was in his drawers.
Maybe after an initial investigation police came up shorts.
If he was a pugilist and he escaped from jail, would police be on the lookout for a missing boxer?
Did they catch him under there? Under where?
Maybe police were alerted by his loud voice. You know, perhapth he wath thinging a thong.
He and his buddies weren't always criminals. In fact, you might say they were late bloomers.
Was this underwear collector guy effeminate? You know, a real pantywaist?
If he escaped on a horse did his pursuers jockey for position?
If it was a pursuit did police catch him on the fly?
Perhaps police nabbed the man after a lengthy foot race because he couldn't catch his breath in short pants.
Perhaps, perhaps not. It all depends.
Monday, 20 July 2009
Are these guys:
b) only date goats, or
c) have two stomachs.
None of the above. Nope. A herbivore is a celibate Japanese slacker. Konnichiwa? To be precise, according to Maclean's a herbivore is a young Japanese man "who saves money, shuns sex, has a penchant for nice clothing and prefers a quieter, less competitive lifestyle". In Japanese "sex" is translated as "relationship in flesh". So pop culturist Maki Fukasawato coined the term herbivore boys because they aren't interested in flesh.
The article goes on to say that grass eating boys are close to their mothers, are attentive to their appearance and have few career ambitions.
Who do these guys worship as a role model, Richard Simmons?
And what the hell is happening to the long held ideal of the place of masculinity in society? It's being flushed right down the toilet. Literally. Japanese toilet-maker Matsushita Electric Works (good name for a closet crapper: Mats-u-shita) reports over 40% of men in Japan sit on the toilet to pee. Horror of horrors men, urine a heap of trouble!
And get this, right out of a Seinfeld episode, Tokyo company WishRoom is selling men's bras. If Kramer had only gotten the patent he'd be rich.
Man, Japanese men are really blurring the lines when it comes to defining the "fairer sex"as they bid sayounara to their masculinity.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Friday, 17 July 2009
What are we to expect from the former comic and now Senator from Minnesota? Well, maybe there's a clue to be had from his past.
Franken, who spent nearly as much time contesting his election results as he did parodying politicians, in one of his incarnations appeared as self-help guru Stuart Smalley on SNL. Several of his famous catch phrases included:
Franken also wrote several books, among them the not-so-obliquely titled: Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.
So okay, we get a sense of where he's coming from, but we're not so sure where he's going.
Who knows, maybe he'll end up like former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien. Chretien was in the news again this week as only the third Canadian recipient of the Queen's Order of Merit. He's in some pretty august company. Mother Theresa and Winston Churchill are among the award's previous recipients.
A shrewd politician, Chretien led his Liberal party to 3 successive majority government's in Canada. But Jean wasn't the most erudite individual. Indeed, many used to say he showed no favourites among Canada's two solitudes as he managed to mangle both official languages. He also was prone to blathering as opposed to giving a direct answer (hey, he was a a politician). He often came off looking more like a stand-up comic than a Prime Minister. Here's a few examples:
So my American friends, look out. Mr Franken may unexpectedly and inexplicably rise to the heights of Mr. Chretien. Geez, a lot of quotes have been thrown about in this article and I'm sorry but for some reason when I think of these two politicians I am reminded of one more quote, this one from Plato: