Monday, 30 March 2009

Keep Yelling Kids (They'll Stop)


On the weekend I posted about South of the Border and the billboards on the highway we encountered driving back to Canada from Florida. Located in Dillon, South Carolina, South of the Border started out almost 60 years ago as a beer stand. Over the years it steadily grew to become, you might say, the Kingdom of Kitsch.


I didn't take pictures of all the billboards through South Carolina on I-95. But I have found some others, from over the years, on Google Pics. Enjoy!









Other billboards included the following themes:


* Pedro's Weather Forecast: Chili today, hot tamale.
* Keep America Green! Bring Money!
* Keep yelling, kids! (They'll stop.)
* Sommtheeng Deeferent
* Honeymoon Suites: Heir Conditioned
* Fort Pedro, Fireworks Capital of the US
* Etymologically Correck!
* Howdy, Pardner!
* Top Banana!
* Pedro's fireworks! Does yours?

Saturday, 28 March 2009

South of the Border

My buddy and I lit out from Fort Lauderdale at around 1am this morning. 16 hours later, after sharing driving duties, we checked in to the Quality Inn in Petersburg Virginia. It was a fairly unevenful ride, in fact a tad boring save when each of us started to nod off during our stretch at the wheel. One remarkable thing was the billboards in the sky. These things are mounted on huge metal poles up so high in the air I think they're used to attract low-flying objects as well as cars.


The other interesting thing to watch for are the billboards - all lower to the ground - for "South of the Border" a touristy kitschy mecca in South Carolina just over the border from North Carolina. You can follow these billboards as you get closer and closer, beginning over 160 miles away...


And then, before you know it the mecca of kitsch is upon you.

You know, I remember travelling with the kids when they were younger, driving to Disney World and those billboards provided us with hours of fun seeing who could spot them first and reading the silly mesages written upon them. We even stopped to see what all the fuss was about. Today, however, with two old farts bent on making good time, South of the Border was gone in the blink of an eye. Besides I'm really not one to kitsch and tell...;)

Friday, 27 March 2009

He's The Tax Man

What is it with Lady Liberty and taxes. Saw this guy on a south Florida street corner; he wasn't exactly drivin' in the customers. But why are tax preparers always associating themselves with the Statue of Liberty?

After all, the saying isn't: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to get their taxes in on time."

That reminds me. Good thing we're leaving for home today. I've gotta file my tax return!

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

While visiting south Florida there's been a superfluity of sporting events in both Fort Lauderdale and nearby Miami. The NHL's Panthers played the Toronto Maple Leafs. One of the early rounds of March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament, was hosted in Miami as was the world baseball series and so on. But we didn't go for those big ticket items. Oh no. We decided to take in that great American pastime: Spring Training.

Fort Lauderdale Stadium was built in 1962 and up until about 1996 was spring training home to the New York Yankees. Since then, when the Yankees moved on to Legends Field in Tampa, the Baltimore Orioles have played there.
My buddy and I got tickets to the Orioles vs the Tampa Rays but unfortunately the game was rained out. Sure, fly 1500 miles from snow covered Canada in search of fun in the sun and encounter 17 straight hours of rain and flood alerts. We weren't off to a good start. Undaunted we traded our tickets in for a game with the Washington Nationals, which worked out well for a couple of Canucks. The Nats, you see, used to be the Montreal Expos.

Here's the main entrance of Fort Lauderdale Stadium...

Here's a shot of the press box...
Here's the opening pitch. The Nationals beat the Orioles 3-1.

Here's a shot of the Beer Guy
Here's a shot of the photo guy...
And here's a shot of the tourist guys, my snowbird buddy on the left and some other guy.
And a good time was had by the tourist guys for a grand total of $14 each. Geez, that's about half as much as the t-shirt I bought!

So when it comes to the Grapefruit League Spring Training? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! (C'mon, you musta seen that comin',)

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

My Sentiments Exactly

Yup, "YEE-HAW" about says it all. Been in Fort Lauderdale since March 16 and decided to stay on a couple of extra days. Hey, there's a big difference between 82F and -2C!

BTW, the sign was found on the Florida Turnpike between Fort Lauderdale and Orlando.

Friday, 20 March 2009

Hey, I'm Where The Boys Were

"Where The Boys Are" is a 60s film about spring break in the town once known as "Spring Break USA": Fort Lauderdale. Since the 50s college kids from across the U.S. and Canada flocked to Fort Lauderdale Beach in droves - in the hundreds of thousands - to party. And that's just what the film portrayed...




Times have changed. In the mid 80s Fort Lauderdale was overrun by somewhere in the area of 350,000 hot-blooded and/or drunk teenagers. Today things have changed. The city fathers have discouraged the love-in and now cater to an older, whiter-haired and richer kind of tourist. And it's to Fort Lauderdale I have come for 2 weeks, and as for older, whiter-haired and richer? Two out of three ain't bad...


Here's a modern Fort Lauderdale beachfront hotel, compared to the tiny motels from days gone by, followed by an older edifice, updated.






And here's a view from across the street of the famous Fort Lauderdale Beach, practically deserted.

Here's where the boys are these days...the Nirvana of southern Florida: BASS PRO! Here's where else the boys are: air-boating through the everglades...
And spotting alligators...



And unfortunately it's no longer where Connie Francis is...

Sunday, 15 March 2009

I'll Be Back

I'm off down south for a little R 'n R for a couple of weeks. I'm not sure if I'll be posting or not and if I do it'll only be sporadically. While I'm gone take a stroll through my archives, hit up one or two folks on my blog roll or if you're going into serious humour withdrawal drop by Humor Bloggers Dot Com. Until my return, in the immortal words of Ahnuld Scharzaneggah, "I'll Be Back"

Saturday, 14 March 2009

Twist and Shout

I was going to save this for a future "60s Friday" post but since I'm going to be away for 2 weeks and posting might be intermittent, if at all, I decided to share it today.

It's an oldie but a goodie from The Beatles early in their career, followed by an almost equally good cover of the song by The Who in the twilight of theirs (in Toronto in 1982 on one of those rare occasions when bassist John Entwhistle sings!). Shake it up baby, now!





Oh and if you're wondering if I'll be thinking of you while I'm suckin' back a cool one while I'm deep sea fishing, suit yourself. See ya in a couple of weeks.

For The Engineers Out There

PLEASE RESOLVE THIS BEFORE LOOKING AT THE ANSWER BELOW

Conditions:

A backhoe weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowboy trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas .
The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, re inforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

Solve:
When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half ?
(Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by thedriver...)
Extra Credit:
Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above.
Yes, you can neglect friction.


I couldn't solve it either......but who cares;
The pictures are great! The driver was on his mobile 'phone..................


merci Alec

I Told Him, “Julie, Don’t Go!”


Beware The Ides Of March

Ah, yes, the Ides of March or the 15th day of the third month. Yeah, I know it's only March 14th. But it would be too late to beware if I told you tomorrow. The phrase is best known as the fatal warning given Julius Caesar, prior to his assassination.

Julius Caesar has heavily influenced our culture and society in ways you may not have known.

For example, Julius Caesar is a tragedy by William Shakespeare, believed to have been written in 1599. It portrays the conspiracy against the Roman dictator of the same name, his assassination and its aftermath. It is one of several Roman plays that he wrote, based on true events from Roman history.
Caesar seems to have been the originator of the phrase “We have not to fear anything, except fear itself,” spoken to his wife on the eve of his death. FDR nicked the expression for an inauguration speech in the depths of the depression in 1933 when he said “…we have nothing to fear but fear itself…”

Julius Caesar is responsible for a very famous idiom. He literally “crossed the Rubicon”, which is an expression used down through the ages to exemplify when one passes the point of no return.

Julius Caesar said “I came, I saw, I conquered” He might have been referring to the fact he was married 3 times.

He may have heavily influenced Richard Nixon because he said: “If you must break the law, do it to seize power: in all other cases observe it."

We know he preferred listening to Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead over Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention because he said: “It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking.”

And we certainly know he enjoyed eggs. When asked on the morning of his death if he’d eaten eggs for breakfast he replied, “Ate two Brute!”



Caesar and his pals (including a young Marlon Brando) got the Hollywood treatment in 1953...


And he served as an inspiration to comedians. First up Monty Python in this short wordless wonder…




And to conclude, this longer yet classic routine from the Canadian comedy duo of Wayne and Shuster. My favourite line? The immortal words in Canuck comedy: “I told him,’Julie, don’t go!’”

Friday, 13 March 2009

Take It, Tom

A little levity for a Friday Afternoon. Here's the Smothers Brothers in their pre-Comedy Hour days performing their classic routine "Boil That Cabbage Down"

Timing Is Everything


Use Caution On The Off Ramp


Is She In The Backseat?


Neither Rain, Nor Sleet Nor Unfoldable Mail...

merci

LMAO




You Are WTF?



As far as you're concerned, the internet is getting weirder and weirder.

And you're the type of person who can never look away, no matter how bizarre or gross something is.



No doubt about it, there are some pretty deeply disturbing people out there. And they are totally shameless!

You can't help but say, "What the f*?" There really is no other appropriate reaction.

For Important Deliveries

merci

Barbie Hits a Milestone


Friday On My Mind

This week's 60s group comes from Australia, mate. This tune by the Easy Beats caught my ear in 1967. They recorded it when they were based in Britain, after they'd left Australia. David Bowie covered it in 1973. One other piece of trivia about the Easy Beats. Founding member George Young produced AC/DC's first six albums. His younger brothers Malcolm and Angus are members of AC/DC. Friday On My Mind pretty much summed up how many of us approach the beginning of the week...

Thursday, 12 March 2009

The Morning After

The Impact of Steroids in Horse Racing


Stating The Obvious

Urine The Rough

The Lightness of Being

Putting Your Best Face Forward

The Lenovo IdeaPad comes with Face Recognition Security

March Madness


The Medium Is The Message


King Of The Beats

American author Jack Kerouac, contemporary and friend of Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs was born this day in 1922. He died at the age of 47 in 1969.

Kerouac is best known for his 1957 novel On The Road, a work that established him as the father of the Beat Generation.
He was heavily influenced by Bebop, a form of Jazz popular at the time. Here's a clip of Kerouac, reading from On The Road


"My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them."
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