Keep Yelling Kids (They'll Stop)

On the weekend I posted about South of the Border and the billboards on the highway we encountered driving back to Canada from Florida. Located in Dillon, South Carolina, South of the Border started out almost 60 years ago as a beer stand. Over the years it steadily grew to become, you might say, the Kingdom of Kitsch.


I didn't take pictures of all the billboards through South Carolina on I-95. But I have found some others, from over the years, on Google Pics. Enjoy!









Other billboards included the following themes:


* Pedro's Weather Forecast: Chili today, hot tamale.
* Keep America Green! Bring Money!
* Keep yelling, kids! (They'll stop.)
* Sommtheeng Deeferent
* Honeymoon Suites: Heir Conditioned
* Fort Pedro, Fireworks Capital of the US
* Etymologically Correck!
* Howdy, Pardner!
* Top Banana!
* Pedro's fireworks! Does yours?

South of the Border

My buddy and I lit out from Fort Lauderdale at around 1am this morning. 16 hours later, after sharing driving duties, we checked in to the Quality Inn in Petersburg Virginia. It was a fairly unevenful ride, in fact a tad boring save when each of us started to nod off during our stretch at the wheel. One remarkable thing was the billboards in the sky. These things are mounted on huge metal poles up so high in the air I think they're used to attract low-flying objects as well as cars.

The other interesting thing to watch for are the billboards - all lower to the ground - for "South of the Border" a touristy kitschy mecca in South Carolina just over the border from North Carolina. You can follow these billboards as you get closer and closer, beginning over 160 miles away...

And then, before you know it the mecca of kitsch is upon you.

You know, I remember travelling with the kids when they were younger, driving to Disney World and those billboards provided us with hours of fun seeing who could spot them first and reading the silly mesages written upon them. We even stopped to see what all the fuss was about. Today, however, with two old farts bent on making good time, South of the Border was gone in the blink of an eye. Besides I'm really not one to kitsch and tell...;)

He's The Tax Man

What is it with Lady Liberty and taxes. Saw this guy on a south Florida street corner; he wasn't exactly drivin' in the customers. But why are tax preparers always associating themselves with the Statue of Liberty?

After all, the saying isn't: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to get their taxes in on time."

That reminds me. Good thing we're leaving for home today. I've gotta file my tax return!

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

While visiting south Florida there's been a superfluity of sporting events in both Fort Lauderdale and nearby Miami. The NHL's Panthers played the Toronto Maple Leafs. One of the early rounds of March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament, was hosted in Miami as was the world baseball series and so on. But we didn't go for those big ticket items. Oh no. We decided to take in that great American pastime: Spring Training.

Fort Lauderdale Stadium was built in 1962 and up until about 1996 was spring training home to the New York Yankees. Since then, when the Yankees moved on to Legends Field in Tampa, the Baltimore Orioles have played there.

My buddy and I got tickets to the Orioles vs the Tampa Rays but unfortunately the game was rained out. Sure, fly 1500 miles from snow covered Canada in search of fun in the sun and encounter 17 straight hours of rain and flood alerts. We weren't off to a good start. Undaunted we traded our tickets in for a game with the Washington Nationals, which worked out well for a couple of Canucks. The Nats, you see, used to be the Montreal Expos.

Here's the main entrance of Fort Lauderdale Stadium...

Here's a shot of the press box...

Here's the opening pitch. The Nationals beat the Orioles 3-1.

Here's a shot of the Beer Guy

Here's a shot of the photo guy...

And here's a shot of the tourist guys, my snowbird buddy on the left and some other guy.

And a good time was had by the tourist guys for a grand total of $14 each. Geez, that's about half as much as the t-shirt I bought!

So when it comes to the Grapefruit League Spring Training? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! (C'mon, you musta seen that comin',)

My Sentiments Exactly

Yup, "YEE-HAW" about says it all. Been in Fort Lauderdale since March 16 and decided to stay on a couple of extra days. Hey, there's a big difference between 82F and -2C!

BTW, the sign was found on the Florida Turnpike between Fort Lauderdale and Orlando.

Hey, I'm Where The Boys Were

"Where The Boys Are" is a 60s film about spring break in the town once known as "Spring Break USA": Fort Lauderdale. Since the 50s college kids from across the U.S. and Canada flocked to Fort Lauderdale Beach in droves - in the hundreds of thousands - to party. And that's just what the film portrayed...



Times have changed. In the mid 80s Fort Lauderdale was overrun by somewhere in the area of 350,000 hot-blooded and/or drunk teenagers. Today things have changed. The city fathers have discouraged the love-in and now cater to an older, whiter-haired and richer kind of tourist. And it's to Fort Lauderdale I have come for 2 weeks, and as for older, whiter-haired and richer? Two out of three ain't bad...


Here's a modern Fort Lauderdale beachfront hotel, compared to the tiny motels from days gone by, followed by an older edifice, updated.

And here's a view from across the street of the famous Fort Lauderdale Beach, practically deserted.

Here's where the boys are these days...the Nirvana of southern Florida: BASS PRO! Here's where else the boys are: air-boating through the everglades...
And spotting alligators...

And unfortunately it's no longer where Connie Francis is...

I'll Be Back

I'm off down south for a little R 'n R for a couple of weeks. I'm not sure if I'll be posting or not and if I do it'll only be sporadically. While I'm gone take a stroll through my archives, hit up one or two folks on my blog roll or if you're going into serious humour withdrawal drop by Humor Bloggers Dot Com. Until my return, in the immortal words of Ahnuld Scharzaneggah, "I'll Be Back"

Twist and Shout

I was going to save this for a future "60s Friday" post but since I'm going to be away for 2 weeks and posting might be intermittent, if at all, I decided to share it today.

It's an oldie but a goodie from The Beatles early in their career, followed by an almost equally good cover of the song by The Who in the twilight of theirs (in Toronto in 1982 on one of those rare occasions when bassist John Entwhistle sings!). Shake it up baby, now!





Oh and if you're wondering if I'll be thinking of you while I'm suckin' back a cool one while I'm deep sea fishing, suit yourself. See ya in a couple of weeks.

For The Engineers Out There

PLEASE RESOLVE THIS BEFORE LOOKING AT THE ANSWER BELOW

Conditions:

A backhoe weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowboy trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas .
The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, re inforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

Solve:

When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half ?
(Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by thedriver...)

Extra Credit:

Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above.
Yes, you can neglect friction.

I couldn't solve it either......but who cares;
The pictures are great! The driver was on his mobile 'phone..................

merci Alec

I Told Him, “Julie, Don’t Go!”

Beware The Ides Of March

Ah, yes, the Ides of March or the 15th day of the third month. Yeah, I know it's only March 14th. But it would be too late to beware if I told you tomorrow. The phrase is best known as the fatal warning given Julius Caesar, prior to his assassination.

Julius Caesar has heavily influenced our culture and society in ways you may not have known.

For example, Julius Caesar is a tragedy by William Shakespeare, believed to have been written in 1599. It portrays the conspiracy against the Roman dictator of the same name, his assassination and its aftermath. It is one of several Roman plays that he wrote, based on true events from Roman history.
Caesar seems to have been the originator of the phrase “We have not to fear anything, except fear itself,” spoken to his wife on the eve of his death. FDR nicked the expression for an inauguration speech in the depths of the depression in 1933 when he said “…we have nothing to fear but fear itself…”

Julius Caesar is responsible for a very famous idiom. He literally “crossed the Rubicon”, which is an expression used down through the ages to exemplify when one passes the point of no return.

Julius Caesar said “I came, I saw, I conquered” He might have been referring to the fact he was married 3 times.

He may have heavily influenced Richard Nixon because he said: “If you must break the law, do it to seize power: in all other cases observe it."

We know he preferred listening to Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead over Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention because he said: “It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking.”

And we certainly know he enjoyed eggs. When asked on the morning of his death if he’d eaten eggs for breakfast he replied, “Ate two Brute!”



Caesar and his pals (including a young Marlon Brando) got the Hollywood treatment in 1953...


And he served as an inspiration to comedians. First up Monty Python in this short wordless wonder…




And to conclude, this longer yet classic routine from the Canadian comedy duo of Wayne and Shuster. My favourite line? The immortal words in Canuck comedy: “I told him,’Julie, don’t go!’”

Take It, Tom

A little levity for a Friday Afternoon. Here's the Smothers Brothers in their pre-Comedy Hour days performing their classic routine "Boil That Cabbage Down"

Timing Is Everything

Use Caution On The Off Ramp

Is She In The Backseat?

Neither Rain, Nor Sleet Nor Unfoldable Mail...

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LMAO

You Are WTF?

As far as you're concerned, the internet is getting weirder and weirder. And you're the type of person who can never look away, no matter how bizarre or gross something is. No doubt about it, there are some pretty deeply disturbing people out there. And they are totally shameless! You can't help but say, "What the f*?" There really is no other appropriate reaction.

What Internet Slang Are You?

For Important Deliveries

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Barbie Hits a Milestone

Friday On My Mind

This week's 60s group comes from Australia, mate. This tune by the Easy Beats caught my ear in 1967. They recorded it when they were based in Britain, after they'd left Australia. David Bowie covered it in 1973. One other piece of trivia about the Easy Beats. Founding member George Young produced AC/DC's first six albums. His younger brothers Malcolm and Angus are members of AC/DC. Friday On My Mind pretty much summed up how many of us approach the beginning of the week...

The Morning After

The Impact of Steroids in Horse Racing

Stating The Obvious

Urine The Rough

The Lightness of Being

Putting Your Best Face Forward

The Lenovo IdeaPad comes with Face Recognition Security

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March Madness

The Medium Is The Message

King Of The Beats

American author Jack Kerouac, contemporary and friend of Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs was born this day in 1922. He died at the age of 47 in 1969.

Kerouac is best known for his 1957 novel On The Road, a work that established him as the father of the Beat Generation.

He was heavily influenced by Bebop, a form of Jazz popular at the time. Here's a clip of Kerouac, reading from On The Road

"My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them."

Simple Question

Discrimination

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Road Work

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A Land Down Under

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Overstatement

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Direct Directions

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So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

Who can't forget the opening from this Britsh show in the early 80s...


The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy was first a stage play, then a book, then a radio series, then an early 80s television series on the BBC and on PBS in North America and most recently a film.

It's author, Douglas Adams, died at the age of 49. Today he would have turned 57. The book is one of the funniest things I've ever read. And the BBC TV series was equally funny. Here are a few quotes Adams is fondly remembered for:

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

Stumped

Tired Of Waiting

This ad made me think of this song...

The Perfect Prescription

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Apres Ski

We Have Lift Off

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Murder She Graphed

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Yeah, Right

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"A Hole In One" Not Just A Golf Term

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We're All Children

An ad for Exotica flowers

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Just A Squirt Of Lime

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Lay Off The Donuts

Debating Strategy

We Call It A Woodie

It's Dean Torrence's birthday. Who the heck is Dean Torrence? He's one half of the early 60's surf music group Jan and Dean. Jan and Dean pre-dated the Beach Boys but weren't nearly as famous. This clip is of 1963's Surf City from their surf movie Surf Party...

Politically Incorrect Cereal

More discontinued cereals here

Pour Away

More unusual glassware here

How Times Have Changed

News Item: Auto Union To Freeze Pay At GM

Bob and Ray

Bob Elliot and Ray Goulding were one of the funniest comedy duos of all time. As a Canadian, I'm partial to Wayne and Shuster. But I also loved the American team of Abbot and Costello. And of course Britain's The Two Ronnies made me split my gut. But I also found Bob and Ray immensely funny.

They were often on Johnny Carson during the 70s. By that time they'd spent decades on both radio and television, beginning in the 1940s. Goulding died in 1990. Ray lives on. He's the father of Chris Elliot, funny in his own right in such things as Robbie's creepy brother in-law in Everybody Loves Raymond. And the comedic genes have been passed down to grandaughter Abby Elliot, a featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

According to Ray Goulding, the billing "Bob and Ray" came from their first radio show "Matinee with Bob and Ray" which they thought sounded better than "Matinob with Ray and Bob".

Here's an animated Bob and Ray in a 50s beer commercial


And here they are in one of the few videotaped routines found on the internet...

He Was Young And Stupid Too

Seems A-Rod isn't the only major figure seeking forgiveness...

Sneaky

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Early GPS

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Pooch Process Of Elimination

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There's Always Someone Worse Off Than You

When you have a ‘I Hate My Job’ day, [even if retired, you have those sometimes] try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: ‘Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.’

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,’ I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.’

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How Good Is He? Head And Shoulders Above The Rest

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A Brief Overview

Look Both Ways

More bus ads here

Cross Not Included

The Original Doggie Bag

Some Sectors Of Economy Experience Upturn

Enlightening

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Odd Man Out

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Temptation Ain't What It Used To Be

Interrogation Of "A Person Of Interest"

Cop Comedians

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1...

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."


#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."


#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."


#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"


#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"


#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."


#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. "


#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."


#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."


#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"


#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."


#2 "I'm glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


The envelope please.....................AND THE WINNER IS ...


#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Join The Club

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.
At first I said, ‘Naaahhh!’
Then they said to me ‘Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind Kids.’
Then I thought..
“Damn, - I could win this!

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Watcha Doin'?

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It's Corky's Birthday

The child star of Circus Boy turns 64 today. Of course, "Corky" went on to be Mickey Dolenz the drummer of the Monkees, a manufactured musical group made solely for TV. The Monkees ran for two years, beginning in 1966. In my estimation they sucked. Judge for yourself...

But, then, this wasn't much better...10 years earlier:

That Cabinet Selection Process Is Tough

He'll Never Do That Again

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Just When You Thought Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

NASCAR Notebook

Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.

# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.

# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.

# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.

# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.

# 5 - Police cars on track interfere ...

# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.

# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.

# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...

# 1 - They Can't wear their helmets sideways.

(David Letterman)

Horse Montage

The latest "literal video" takes on Penny Lane by The Beatles.

If Urine You're Out

No, Actually, You're Wrong

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The Little Known Origin Of St. Patrick's Day

Quite A Pair

Money Talks

Easy To Follow Label

Hail The God Of All Fabric

Candyland

I'm So Glad

This week's 60s flashback recalls British supergroup and power trio Cream made up of Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce and, of course, Eric Clapton. It's fascinating how a group which lasted only 2 to 3 years beginning in 1966 could have left such a lasting impression on the music world. Nevertheless, I'm So Glad they did.

When You're Headin' For Home

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Creativity In The Kitchen

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March Madness

The First Signs Of Spring

A Bit Of A Breeze

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Far Too Much Time On Their Hands

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A Massage With Something Extra

From Casual to Formal Dining In 5 Seconds

more napkins here

Go Blue Devils

Mentos & Carlsberg

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Modest Poultry

Snug As A Pug In A...

for Julia/merci

Okay, Okay You Won Already

For Discussion

Otwitter

HUMOR BLOGGERS UNITE

March is one of two things. Aside from "in like a lion and out like a lamb", it’s also either “Humorists Are Artists” month or” Humorists Are Artists, Too” month. That’s right Google says both observances exist. And god knows if Google says it, it must be right. I’m not sure of the distinction but it looks like an excuse for humorists to celebrate twice. And who doesn’t like twice as many occasions to whoop it up. (Pass the opener.)

I have to say though that the occasion appears to be discriminatory. That’s right, it seems to exclude Canadians and Brits. How do I know? Well look how they spell “humour”. They leave out “u”…and me! Well we’ll just have to crash the festivities. (Pass the keg.)

When I think of humorist, the first thing that pops into my head are people like this:

And when I was much younger, I used to watch routines like these…

But I digress.

Over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com – humo”u”rists that we are – we’re putting our own little spin on things calling it Humor Bloggers Unite Month.
A kidnapped mascot (see banner in right-hand column) and a video starring a cavalcade of comedic kooks are just two of the activities being undertaken during the month.

But we’ve chosen March 7th to formally honour (note the “u” Americans) “Humorists Are Artists”.

I invite you to go to HBDC to see how other humour bloggers are marking the occasion.

Me? I’ve come up with the following little ditty, aimed at my American humour blogger buddies:

I Want You To Spell Me
(to the tune of I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick)

I want you to spell me.
I need you to “u” me.
I’d love you to humour me.
I’m beggin you to spell me.

I want you to spell me.
I need you to “u” me.
I’d love you to humour me.
I’ll get out the Oxford Dictionary, loan you my glasses.
I’ll get home early from work if you spell humour for me.

Didn’t i, didn’t i, didn’t I see you spell?
Oh, didn’t i, did’nt i, didn’t I see you spell?
Feelin all alone without a friend, you know you felt like hell.
Oh, didn’t i, didn’t i, didn’t I see you spell?

I want you to spell me.
I need you to “u” me.
I’d love you to humour me.
I’m beggin you to spell me.
I’ll never, ever say “eh”, or eat any more poutine.
I’ll get you a Canada Dry if you spell humour correctly

Now, this time, watch this and sing along…and remember, humor is spelt h-u-m-o-u-r in Canada, eh, neighbo"u"r!

Which One's Pink?

David Gilmour is 63 today. Now pretty much a solo artist Gilmour is best known as guitartist for Pink Floyd, a group he said of in 2006 - even prior to Richard Wright's death - I think enough is enough. I am 60 years old. I don't have the will to work as much anymore. Pink Floyd was an important part in my life, I have had a wonderful time, but it's over. For me it's much less complicated to work alone.

Here's a brief profile from back in the day...


And this song, from the album of the same name and written by Gilmour and Roger Waters pays tribute to Syd Barrett, a founding member of Pink Floyd...

Men In Tights

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If At First You Don't Succeed...

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Birds of a Feather...

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But I Won't Do That

Humour Me

nonamedufus' submission to Humor Bloggers Dot Com's "Humorists Are Artists"

I Want You To Spell Me
(to the tune of I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick)

I want you to spell me.

I need you to “u” me.

I'd love you to humour me.

I'm beggin you to spell me.

I want you to spell me.

I need you to “u” me. I'd love you to humour me.

I'll get out the Oxford Dictionary, loan you my glasses.

I'll get home early from work if you spell humour for me.

Didn't i, didn't i, didn't I see you spell?

Oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't I see you spell?

Feelin all alone without a friend, you know you felt like hell.

Oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't I see you spell?

I want you to spell me.

I need you to “u” me.

I'd love you to humour me.

I'm beggin you to spell me.

I'll never, ever say “eh”, or eat any more poutine.

I'll get you a Canada Dry if you spell humour correctly

(this is an excerpt from a post yet to appear)

Hair Today Green or Gray Tomorrow?

I guess it had to happen...

And I guess things are really, realy slow in the news biz these days...
News Item: Obama Going Gray

I think I like the green hair best. It's ch-ch-ch-chia!

Driving

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Who's More Photogenic - Harper or Obama?

Meanwhile...
During his trip to Ottawa, Canada, President Obama said he was too embarrassed to admit to the Canadians that he’d never actually seen a hockey game.
To which the Canadians said, “Oh, don’t worry, we’ve never seen a black guy.”
- Jay Leno

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Water Safety

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Bo Knows

Bo Knew

When Men And Women Go Shopping

Avoid This Bakery

False Advertising

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Take Me Out To The Ball Game

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Giving A Little Of Their Own Back To The Airlines

Happy As A Clam

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Harry's Big Surprise

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New Use For Old Product

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Perception

Another Rock n Roll Birthday? Yes!

Chris Squire, founding member of progressive rock group Yes is 61 today. Yes has been through several incarnations. And at one point there were 2 distinct versions of Yes that came together for the album Union. It turns out, Squire is the only member from either version to have played on every Yes album. I've followed Yes since their inception. To me, though, their glory years were when the lineup included oragnist extraordinaire Rick Wakeman. Here's Roundabout from that period; from their 1971 album Fragile.

Sea Horse

Sensitive Teeth

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Forever Young

Dubai Cosmetic Surgery

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Mounties Always Get Their Man - With A Taser

News Item: here

An Accident Waiting To Happen

Longevity

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Multi-Tasking Man

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Things That Make You Go AAUUUGH

BLT

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Fish In A Barrel

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Snowman Funeral

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Toronto Sports Trek

Two weeks ago my son and I drove to Toronto. It was his College study break and we had tickets to a Raptors game. What better break from studying than a basketball game! They were playing Cleveland and Lebron James was in town. It was a wet dreary day, but we killed some time doing a little sightseeing. Our first stop was the Hockey Hall of Fame. We hadn't been there since he was a little kid.

The picture above was taken outside the buidling. The one below is of the marvelous atrium where the entrance to the Hall is located.

We found tons of hockey artifacts, including these bronzed skates that once belonged to Bobby Orr...

And there were some items to get us...a couple of Senators fans...excited. These 2 displays show Jason Spezza then, as a Junior...
and now, as a key part of Ottawa's line-up...

Part of the Hall is a former bank and the original Staley Cup is kept in the vault...

While Ottawa hasn't won the Cup in recent years, although they came close, they did win it several times many years ago, including 1926-27 - I may be old, but not that old. I wasn't around to see it, unfortnately. And Toronto fans think they've waited a long time for a cup!

The cup used today is out in the open for all to see. We didn't see the guy with the white gloves that travels everywhere the cup goes, however. Maybe he was in the men's room. I hope he took his gloves off.

From one sports shrine to another, we then trekked the couple of blocks to "The Hanger", the Air Canada Centre to see Lebron James. That's him warming up in the centre of the picture.

And with the tip off the game was underway...
The Raptors lost but my son and I were the real winners. We got to see Lebron James and spend some quality father-son time together. Oh, and what makes Lebron James so special? Judge for yourself...

Heeeeeere's RONNIE!

Mix Jack Nicholson, The Shining and L.Ron Hubbard together and what do you get?

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Gramma's A Wild One

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On The Cover of The Rolling Stone

Okay, here's an obscure musical fact. Jance Garfat, was the bass player for Dr. Hook and The Medicine Show. He met an untimely end in 2007 in a motorcycle accident when he swerved to miss a dead dog in the road way. Today would have been his birthday; he was born in 1944. Dr. Hook, of course, sang the song On The Cover of the Rolling Stone...and guess what? Following the popularity of that song they got their picture on the cover of Rolling Stone...

Don't Feed The Little Animals

Why Didn't I Think Of This Before?

Developing News

Curse You Colonel Sanders

BONUS: DREAM JOB

The Hangman

Chuck Norris Facts

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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Great Stories Last Forever

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Just A Little Tweet

Happy Birthday Amy!

Celebrating her first year in the interwebs this month is AmyOops. I really enjoy her blog and as regular visitors to nonamedufus will know from time to time I'll nick the odd item from her. Happy Birthday, Amy. I got you a cake but I already drank it. Sorry. But it's the thought that counts, right?

That's What Ya Call It

Happy Clouds

The backstory can be found here

Dancin' Fool

Flowers Fast...When You Need Them

Don't know what he did but he needs flowers delivered fast.

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Take A Walk On The Wild Side

Today is Lou Reed's birthday. He's 67. Today the coloured girls sing Happy Birthday...

The Other Spam

Never Again

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A Tall Cool One

Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downstairs to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main street.

She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she walked in and took a seat at the bar.

The bartender came up and asked her what she would like to drink.

"Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I'll have myself zee cold beer."

The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?"

Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?"

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Robert Frost Goes Skiing

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

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Perk Up That Breakfast Cereal

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President Obobble

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Weapons Of Mess Destruction

"A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down his pants."

That memorable line is from the old Mary Tyler Moore show. On episode "Chuckles Bites the Dust" Chuckles the Clown was killed off by the script writers. They had him being trampled to death by an elephant in a parade. It seemed that Chuckles, as the parade's grand marshal, was dressed in a giant Peter the Peanut costume and was quickly shelled by a hungry pachyderm.

The line was basically his epitaph, and illicited significant comedic impact: laughs. Clowns have a long comedic history, as do their weapons of mess destruction: the cream pie.

But clowns didn't own the rights to a cream pie in the kisser. They were used in silent movies.

They were used in political demonstrations...

They were used in the name of gay rights... Modern-day clowns, at least in the 197os, Johnny Cash and Archie Campbell got a real Hee Haw out of their audience with a cream pie.
Bill Gates was on the receiving end of a well-aimed weapon of mess destruction...

But pie throwing is a fine art. Accuracy is essential and practice makes perfect. Sometimes you hit your target...


And sometimes you miss...



But to my mind cream pies aren't for throwing. They're for eating. So, god forbid, someone tries to take me out, I hope they decide on banana cream.

Grand Slam

Politically Correct in 2009

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ...

Kentucky, Tennessee , Georgia , North & South Carolina and West Virginia mountain and hill folk will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a' BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not ' NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!)
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.
merci Alec

Ever Wonder Who's on Facebook?

Discovered this at The Presurfer. See similar graphs here

Know Your Organs

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Say "Cheese"

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Old English: Protecting Wood From Water Damage

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How To Speak Eh

My Generation

Well he didn't die before he got old, but half his group did! Roger Daltry of The Who turns 65 today. Here's a clip from my generation at 1969's Woodstock called, oddly enough, My Generation...

Facebook

The Crutch Master

Bill Shannon is for real, he isnt gliding along on wheelie shoes and he isnt a stunt man. He is the CrutchMaster as he is affectionately known in the dance world. He is a self-taught conceptual dancer who uses his crutches to perform his incredible choreography around the world.

See more interesting commercials here