Saturday, 31 January 2009
You Are "Love Shack"
If you were transported back to the 80s, you would enjoy anything and everything underground.
You love the alternative aspects of 80s culture, and you're a bit disappointed that they've been forgotten over time.
You'd be goth, punk, new wave, or a rapper. Just not a yuppie, a preppy, or a jock!
You would relish living in a time where identifying with a subculture actually meant something.
Decent song. New wave, maybe, but goth, punk or rapper?
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1.) Gained weight
2.) Talked excessively without making sense
3.) Became overly emotional
4.) Couldn’t drive
5.) Failed to think rationally
6.) Argued over nothing
7.) Had to sit down while urinating
8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong
Friday, 30 January 2009
At this time of year you probably think of the little ball of fur. But any other time, I'm sure it's the movie, starring Bill Murray that comes to mind. And that's fine. I'm with you. After all, the damn little rodent is a poseur. Yep, that's right, everybody thinks he knows what he's doing but it turns out he's wrong more than he's right. Here's what the day is all about...
But a Canadian study (leave it to those Canucks) conducted over 30 to 40 years showed that for nearly two-thirds of those years the groundhogs' forecasts turned out to be wrong. That's right, either they were contrary to what they should have been, or winter dragged on its normal duration. Groundhogs across the nation had a dismal record of being right about 37% of the time. For shame. No wonder they've been the subject of ridicule.
Read all about it by going here
This has got to be one of my favoutite 2009 Superbowl ads.
Thursday, 29 January 2009
This video explains...
Happy Birthday-yay to you and your, ahem...
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are over-sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman. My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work and although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out twice is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will even find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Signed, Jim
EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum.The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in... And then the trouble started.
Well, I thought that was pretty funny. So I went to Wikipedia (sorry Hindleyite) to search Larry Laprise. Turns out he died in 1996 and that friggin' joke's been puttin' it's right foot in on the internet ever since. Not only that, the origin of the "Hokey, Pokey" has long been in dispute. For more see this.