Saturday, January 31, 2009
Historic Boat
In the harbour of Flamenco Island, Panama sits this 99 year old vessel built by J.P. Morgan and throughout the years owned by Al Capone and Steve McQueen, among others.You Are So Wrong!
You Are "Love Shack" |
 If you were transported back to the 80s, you would enjoy anything and everything underground. You love the alternative aspects of 80s culture, and you're a bit disappointed that they've been forgotten over time. You'd be goth, punk, new wave, or a rapper. Just not a yuppie, a preppy, or a jock! You would relish living in a time where identifying with a subculture actually meant something. |
Decent song. New wave, maybe, but goth, punk or rapper?
Beer Side-Effects: Femininity
Harvard scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1-hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1.) Gained weight
2.) Talked excessively without making sense
3.) Became overly emotional
4.) Couldn’t drive
5.) Failed to think rationally
6.) Argued over nothing
7.) Had to sit down while urinating
8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong
merci
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1.) Gained weight
2.) Talked excessively without making sense
3.) Became overly emotional
4.) Couldn’t drive
5.) Failed to think rationally
6.) Argued over nothing
7.) Had to sit down while urinating
8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong
merci
Friday, January 30, 2009
Punxsutawney Putz
Hey, when you think of Groundhog Day, what comes to mind? 
Bill Murray?
Or this little guy?
At this time of year you probably think of the little ball of fur. But any other time, I'm sure it's the movie, starring Bill Murray that comes to mind. And that's fine. I'm with you. After all, the damn little rodent is a poseur. Yep, that's right, everybody thinks he knows what he's doing but it turns out he's wrong more than he's right. Here's what the day is all about...
But a Canadian study (leave it to those Canucks) conducted over 30 to 40 years showed that for nearly two-thirds of those years the groundhogs' forecasts turned out to be wrong. That's right, either they were contrary to what they should have been, or winter dragged on its normal duration. Groundhogs across the nation had a dismal record of being right about 37% of the time. For shame. No wonder they've been the subject of ridicule.
And look at the names they've been given. Ohio's Buckeye Chuck. Georgia's General Beauregard Lee. Alabama's Smith Lake Jake. New York's Staten Island Chuck. North Carolina's Sir Walter Wally. And of course the most well known: Punxsutawney Phil. Silly, Silly. But Canada is not without shame. We have our share of weird wolly woodchucks: Balzac Billy from Alberta. Shubenacadie Sam of Nova Scotia. And, of course, our answer to Phil, Wiarton Willy, just outside our nation's capital, Ottawa.
Bill Murray?Or this little guy?At this time of year you probably think of the little ball of fur. But any other time, I'm sure it's the movie, starring Bill Murray that comes to mind. And that's fine. I'm with you. After all, the damn little rodent is a poseur. Yep, that's right, everybody thinks he knows what he's doing but it turns out he's wrong more than he's right. Here's what the day is all about...
But a Canadian study (leave it to those Canucks) conducted over 30 to 40 years showed that for nearly two-thirds of those years the groundhogs' forecasts turned out to be wrong. That's right, either they were contrary to what they should have been, or winter dragged on its normal duration. Groundhogs across the nation had a dismal record of being right about 37% of the time. For shame. No wonder they've been the subject of ridicule.
And look at the names they've been given. Ohio's Buckeye Chuck. Georgia's General Beauregard Lee. Alabama's Smith Lake Jake. New York's Staten Island Chuck. North Carolina's Sir Walter Wally. And of course the most well known: Punxsutawney Phil. Silly, Silly. But Canada is not without shame. We have our share of weird wolly woodchucks: Balzac Billy from Alberta. Shubenacadie Sam of Nova Scotia. And, of course, our answer to Phil, Wiarton Willy, just outside our nation's capital, Ottawa.Given their woeful record of prognostication, being held up to riducule and their alliterated assinine monikers, my money's on another Phil - Phil Connors. Now, that man was accurate!
Bacon Blow-Out
Newsworld's CBC Morning spent all morning making one of these. Thanks to The Presurfer for hunting down the recipe. This is more bacon than anyone would want to eat in one sitting, let alone 4 quarters of Sunday's Superbowl.
Read all about it by going here
Read all about it by going here
How Times Have Changed
Savage Chickens is celebrating its 4th anniversary on the interwebs. Congratulations! "Facebook" was among the top ten favourites over the past year.
You Keep Me Hangin' On
Our 60s group takin' us into the weekend this week is Vanilla Fudge. You Keep Me Hangin' On, a cover of an old Supremes hit, was released in 1967.
First Rule Of Advertising - Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
This has got to be one of my favoutite 2009 Superbowl ads.
A Bush Moment
Do you miss moments like these? Do you mourn for the good old days #43 brought us? Well now you can rekindle your warm memories by writing a letter to former President Bush.
Click here
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Oprah's Birthday-yay
I knew this lady was influential but wow! She hosts the most-viewed talk show in the universe. She helped put a presidential candidate on the map. She's dropped and gained more pounds than Jabba the Hut. But perhaps what she's best known for is inventing a word. Yep, that's right. How many people do you know have actually invented a word?
This video explains...
Happy Birthday-yay to you and your, ahem...
This video explains...
Happy Birthday-yay to you and your, ahem...
The Thoughtful Husband...
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are over-sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman. My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work and although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out twice is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will even find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Signed, Jim
EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum.The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
merci Jean-Marc
Be Careful Out There
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"
merci Ruth
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
You Had To Ask
Got this joke in an e-mail today.
Sad News
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in... And then the trouble started.
Well, I thought that was pretty funny. So I went to Wikipedia (sorry Hindleyite) to search Larry Laprise. Turns out he died in 1996 and that friggin' joke's been puttin' it's right foot in on the internet ever since. Not only that, the origin of the "Hokey, Pokey" has long been in dispute. For more see this.
Sad News
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in... And then the trouble started.
Well, I thought that was pretty funny. So I went to Wikipedia (sorry Hindleyite) to search Larry Laprise. Turns out he died in 1996 and that friggin' joke's been puttin' it's right foot in on the internet ever since. Not only that, the origin of the "Hokey, Pokey" has long been in dispute. For more see this.
Quote Of The Day
"I won."
-- President Obama, quoted by the Wall Street Journal January 23, 2009 , in response to Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) on why he's not including more Republican ideas in his economic stimulus plan.
merci
-- President Obama, quoted by the Wall Street Journal January 23, 2009 , in response to Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) on why he's not including more Republican ideas in his economic stimulus plan.
merci
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Toward The End Of Time
"We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one."John Updike died today of lung cancer. He was 76. He left behind a significant body of work.
A Short Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The GIRL SAID 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. THE END
Her Morning Elegance
Over at YesButNoButYes they've culled a marvelous You Tube video. The song by Oren Lavie is pretty cool, too!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Real Love
Lucinda Williams turns 56 today. Happy Birthday Lucinda. I've been listening to her for some time. In October, last year, she perfromed Real Love off her latest album, Little Honey. Critics reacted positively to this release, although it's significantly less dark than her previous work. Her webiste's here.
Wither the Coalition?
Canada's Parliament resumes today and Canadians can be excused for experiencing political deja vu. One aspect that may not repeat itself in the new year is the coalition of opposition parties pitted against the government, much to the disappointment of the NDP's Jack Layton.
Happy Bovine New Year
In the Chinese calendar this is new year's day and today is the first day of the year 4707 - the year of the ox!
For everything you ever wanted to know about the Chinese New Year, click here.
Check out the Chinese zodiac and determine what sign you were born under.
For everything you ever wanted to know about the Chinese New Year, click here.Check out the Chinese zodiac and determine what sign you were born under.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
71 At Last
It's Etta James's birthday, born 71 years ago today. A classic act, she's known as a blues, R&B, soul and rock 'n roll singer.
Beyonce is portraying her in a soon to be released movie and she sang the classic "At Last" at the televised inaugural ball. But this video catches the originator of this classic tune only a few years ago.
Gie Her A Haggis
ADDRESS TO A HAGGIS
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hudies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut ye up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reeking, rich!
Then horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, 'Bethankit!' hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As fecl;ess as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Tho' bluidy flood or field to dash, O how unfit.
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll make it whistle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned Like taps o' thrissle.
Ye pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware,
That jaups in luggies;
But if ye wish her gratfu' prayer, Gie her a Haggis!
Today is the brithday of Scotland's favourite son Robbie Burns, who penned the above ode to haggis. Tonight, in Scottish enclaves worldwide, the above poem will be recited before participants sit down to enjoy their main course - haggis.
If you're curious as to the ingredients of this Scotish delicacy, a recipe for haggis can be found here.
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hudies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut ye up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reeking, rich!
Then horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, 'Bethankit!' hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As fecl;ess as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Tho' bluidy flood or field to dash, O how unfit.
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll make it whistle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned Like taps o' thrissle.
Ye pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware,
That jaups in luggies;
But if ye wish her gratfu' prayer, Gie her a Haggis!
Today is the brithday of Scotland's favourite son Robbie Burns, who penned the above ode to haggis. Tonight, in Scottish enclaves worldwide, the above poem will be recited before participants sit down to enjoy their main course - haggis.
If you're curious as to the ingredients of this Scotish delicacy, a recipe for haggis can be found here.And if eating haggis doesn't appeal to you, perhaps you'd like to engage is some haggis hurling, which some might say is all it's good for!
Abstinence
Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Gran Torino
Saw this last night. What a superb film and fabulous actor.
I can't undertsand the Oscar snub.
I can't undertsand the Oscar snub.She's Not There
The Zombies released She's Not There in August of 1964. It hit #2 both in Canada and the United States but only reached #12 in their native Britain.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Milli Vanilli
Yo-Yo Ma's Not-So-Live Inaugural PerformanceBy Anne Reynolds
NBCWashington.com
The musical composition heard by millions at the inauguration was actually an audio tape, recorded days earlier.Carole Florman, spokesperson for the Join Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, says it was too cold for the instruments to stay in tune, so the famed quartet decided to use the taped version.It was 28 degrees at 12:00 pm, when Cellist Yo-Yo Ma, violinist Izhak Perlman, pianist Gabriella Montero and clarinetist Anthony McGill began their performance.The song, titled "Air and Simple Gifts," was composed specifically for Barack Obama's inauguration, just before Obama took the oath of office.Ceremony attendees with seats near the musicians could hear them play, but the instruments were not amplified.
Two Guys With Dogs
There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."The man at the door says, "Come on in."The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Obama/Bush Word Clouds
Word cloud analysis looks at a speech and identifies the most used words. Here's an analysis comparing Obama's inaugural address yesterday versus that of George Bush's 2nd term address.
Beautiful
El Guisante Mágico is a spanish band of glam-surf. The song Beautiful is the single from his new album “Love, Lust & a Bit of Champagne”. This videoclip was filmed by the directing team Sofa Experience, from Agosto.
merci
merci
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The First Dog
“And they’re talking about a dog called a labradoodle. That’s not a dog. That’s George W. Bush playing Scrabble. Come on!”
David Letterman
Time Sculpture
A fascinating series of special effects make for one cool ad for Toshiba. To see how it was made click here
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Democracy Is Coming
CBC Radio 2 recently asked listeners to submit songs by Canadians that they thought best defined Canada for incoming President Obama. The final list of 49 songs (from north of the 49th parallel) were released today and among them was Democracy by Leonard Cohen
The rest of Obama's Playlist can be found here.
The rest of Obama's Playlist can be found here.
Leningrad Cowboys
When I saw this guy on Ruining the Internet I immediately thought of this group...(Ever seen them Daver?)
Inauguration Funnies
Editorial cartoonists were busy in the past few days gearing up for today's inauguration. Here's just a handful of examples...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Feel The Love
Different things can be funny to different people. People have been known to say I'm different, and I'd say my sense of humour is a little different. But I have a feeling, from the traffic through this blog, that quite a few folks share my sense of humour.If you enjoy this blog let me know. You can show the love one of several ways:
1) leave me a comment under an individual post
2) drop me a note at nonamedufus@yahoo.ca
3) link to Humor Bloggers Dot Com here and rate my blog.
Humor Bloggers is what you might call a consortium of comedy or a cabal of corn where many misfits of merriment hang out. After all, where else would you find such folks as Debbie Does Drivel, Knuckledraggin' My Life Away, Nanny Goats in Panties and Nonamedufus all cohabitating this side of the nearest home for the criminally insane. After you've rated my blog, browse the site. Humor Bloggers Dot Com links to some of the funniest sites on the interwebs. And, after all, remember, humour bloggers need love too!
Come Alive, You're in the Obama Generation
As the Obama PR Train hurtles towards the station, culminating in an inauguration sure to be viewed around the world, it seems everyone's getting into the act...
Even Pepsi's getting in on the Obama action. If you're curious about Pepsi ad slogans down through the ages...look here.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
More Montreal
A family get-together today took us to Montreal and we decided to go down Saturday, have a nice meal and stay over. We stayed at the Inter Continental in the heart of Old Montreal. The hotel has a huge atrium. This is a view from outside.
And here's the view from inside...
Across the street was the Palais de Congress where this weekend the Auto Show was running.
The Inter Continetal is on the right and the Hilton is under construction on the left.
Notre Dame Basillica was in walking distance of the hotel, opposite Place d'Armes.
This buiding is known as Wilson Chambers. We had dinner at Wilson 500, on the main floor of this building on McGill, around the corner from the hotel. Delicious!
This is the entrance to Montreal's Chinatown.
I'd like to go back in the summer time, when it's warmer, and spend some time exploring Old Montreal where some buildings date back to the 1700s.
And here's the view from inside...
Across the street was the Palais de Congress where this weekend the Auto Show was running.
The Inter Continetal is on the right and the Hilton is under construction on the left.
Notre Dame Basillica was in walking distance of the hotel, opposite Place d'Armes.
This buiding is known as Wilson Chambers. We had dinner at Wilson 500, on the main floor of this building on McGill, around the corner from the hotel. Delicious!
This is the entrance to Montreal's Chinatown.
I'd like to go back in the summer time, when it's warmer, and spend some time exploring Old Montreal where some buildings date back to the 1700s. Saturday, January 17, 2009
The 86 Rules Of Boozing
A couple of useful tips...
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
67. Never ask a bartender “what's good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.
See all 86 here
Copperhead Road
It's Steve Earl's birthday today. Happy 54th, Steve! You Tube has removed the embed ability from most of his videos but I managed to find one of Steve performing Copperhead Road on the David Letterman Show in 1988.
Shovel-Ready
The latest buzz-word in political circles appears to be "shovel-ready" denoting the need for infrastructure projects both south and north of the 49th parallel that are ready to implement immediately. Seems to me, though, that most politicians these days - given some of the things thay say - are experts at having their "shovel-ready".Montreal
We're in Montreal for the weekend, a little over an hour-and-a-half's drive from Ottawa. We went for a walk near the hotel in Vieux Montreal. It's not much warmer here: -18 that feels like -27 with the windchill. Locals call it a heat wave!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Delirious
"My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like a dig."
Just caught Delirious, which I had not seen before - a great little film from 2006 starring one of my all time favourite character actors, Steve Buscemi. Among Buscemi's previous screen credits are Big Fish, Fargo, Armageddon, and The Big Labowski. If you get a chance, rent this movie.
Keep On Runnin
The Spencer Davis Group released Keep on Runnin in 1965. The line up incuded a very young Stevie Winwood - 17 at the time - who later went on to form Blind Faith, with Eric Clapton, and Traffic before launching a very successful solo career.
And Then The Fight Started
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping through the channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?'' "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." ''My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started...
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and says to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." I replied "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started...
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started...
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started...
merci
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?'' "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." ''My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started...
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and says to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." I replied "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started...
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started...
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started...
merci
C-c-c-c-cold
Snapped this on my camera-phone around 11am, heading south on the Champlain Bridge towards Island Park Drive. The steam(?) coming off the Ottawa River nicely frosted the trees on Bates Island.Men & Women
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
merci Bernard
It was So Cold...
merci
This is the 4th day of -30 or colder in Aylmer. It's been colder here than Yellowknife, Northwest Territories! Go figure.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Post Office
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.The letter read:
'Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was allthe money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the otherworkers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a fewdollars, and by the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96....it wasn't $100, but it was close enough. He put the money into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day,all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read,
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office.
Sincerely yours,Edna
merci Bernard
To Do
No matter what our station in life, we all more than likely compile "to do" lists. These little notes to ourselves help us remember what we want to accomplish on any given day, week or month. And, of course, the older we get the more helpful these little "to do" lists become. Here's a sampling of some...
Beware not to confuse "to do" with "to it". With to do lists you at least have some control over your tasks. But when you tell your wife you'll do something "when you get a round to it" be careful what you ask for! Once you get a round to it, you're bagged for life.
Beware not to confuse "to do" with "to it". With to do lists you at least have some control over your tasks. But when you tell your wife you'll do something "when you get a round to it" be careful what you ask for! Once you get a round to it, you're bagged for life.
Turn Out The Lights On Your Way Out
Editorial cartoonists are tripping over each other trying to get in their last jabs at George Bush as the countdown dwindles towards next week's inauguration of Barak Obama. Here are a few samples...
I've Been Obamiconned!
The Presurfer drew my attention to Paste Magazine's Obamicon.me where just anybody can get on the Obama train and make their own version of a Shepard Fairey iconic poster. This is one of the coolest things around and I hope Mr. Fairey gets a cut on this action!The Misunderestimated President
Slate Magazine has done us the favour of tracking outgoing President Bush's pearls of wisdom throughout his presidency and is now sharing them with us. Here are the top 10 Bushisms on the list...
1. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000
3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001
6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001
7. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006
8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005
9. "I've heard he's been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007
10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008
2. "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000
3. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
4. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
5. "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001
6. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001
7. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2006
8. "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005
9. "I've heard he's been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that."—discussing former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007
10. "And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—meeting with Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008
All 25 can be found here
merci Alec
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
RIP Number Six
"I am not a number..." was the famous line that opened each installment of The Prisoner starring Patrick McGoohan, a fascinating British series that baffled and enthralled at the same time. Regular readers of this blog will know I love the series and enjoyed going through the box set last year (I spoke about it here: http://nonamedufus.blogspot.com/2008/09/not-funny-or-profoundjust-cool.html). Sadly, McGoohan died yesterday at the age of 80. Fans everywhere will be mourning his passing and likely be intoning "be seeing you" one last time.
60s Canadian Music
It's -39 in the Ottawa region with the wind chill this morning. Arrgghhh...about 80pounds of additional clothing is the norm on a day like today. For some perverse reason this kind of weather harkens me back to my youth and the ways we chose to keep warm on a cold winter's night. More often than not we trekked out to the high school gym in the late 60s and early 70s and took in a dance. In those days big name Canadian acts toured the high school and local arena circuit.
From Toronto came Mandala - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala_(Canadian_band) - One of their big hits was Love-itis...
One of Montreal's most popular bands on the circuit was Mashmakhan. Here's an extended version of their hit As The Years Go By from the film Festival Express...
Chilliwack - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilliwack_(band) - was from British Columbia and began life as The Collectors. A big hit of theirs later, in the early 80s, was My Gi
From Toronto came Mandala - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala_(Canadian_band) - One of their big hits was Love-itis...
One of Montreal's most popular bands on the circuit was Mashmakhan. Here's an extended version of their hit As The Years Go By from the film Festival Express...
Chilliwack - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilliwack_(band) - was from British Columbia and began life as The Collectors. A big hit of theirs later, in the early 80s, was My Gi