Sunday, November 30, 2008
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk about that, let's talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! -that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken...What is your definition of crossing?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain... alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
merci Bernard
Saturday, November 29, 2008
The Wizard of Floyd
The List of Coincidences between the album and the movie can be found here.
The Wikipedia entry on Dark Side of the Rainbow is here
Friday, November 28, 2008
At The Pearly Gates
Dear Abby
ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language andViolence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not evensure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been onthe pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriendshould share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discussmoney with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, andwhen confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said itwould never happen again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy whowas raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how doI get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know hedrank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is goingthrough mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest insex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sexand he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
merci Bernard
John Prine - Dear Abby
Thursday, November 27, 2008
ACME Products
Remember the Road Runner? And he was always being chased by Wile E. Coyote. Wile E. otained often complex and ludicrous devices from a mail-order company - ACME Corporation - which he hoped would help him catch the Road Runner. They never did. ACME is thought to have stood for American Company Making Everything. You can see everything the creators at Warner Brothers had them make at The Original Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products at this site
More about ACME and Wile E. can be found here
The Shredder
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand."Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?""Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button."Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy..."
Thanksgiving Quiz
You Are an Indian |
 It's likely that you spent a lot of time outdoors as a kid. You feel comfortable and at peace in nature. You identify with Native Americans. You are a truly helpful and giving person. You like to lend a hand. And while you do your best to do the right thing, people haven't always been kind back to you. |
Big Bird
Happy Thanksgiving to our Amercian friends or, as we refer to it here in Canada "All Day Football During the Week Day". We give thanks!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Ventriloquist
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, “You stay out of this mister, I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
Free Hugs
I'd seen this video a couple of years ago when it first became popular on the web. But until I stumbled across it this morning I wasn't aware of the fascinating backstory.
Sometimes, a hug is all that we need. Free Hugs is the real life controversial story of Juan Mann, a man whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger and put a smile on their face. As this simple gesture of kindness and hope spread, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs Campaign BANNED.
This was You Tube's 2006 video of the year. It is still being viewed at You Tube and commented upon as recently as today.
The Free Hugs story can be found at http://www.freehugscampaign.org/
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
What's Your Personality?
The active and play-ful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities. The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.
