Words of Wisdom

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."-- Lillian (mother of Jimmy) Carter

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.-- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.-- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.- - Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.-- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.-- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury -- Groucho Marx

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.-- Alex Levine

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.-- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.-- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.-- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you.-- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.-- Billy Crystal

merci Bernard